Discussion & help on depression & mental health related issues

The Missing Lineker said:
Oh yes, it’s definitely happening by stealth. No need to worry the punters here though because it’s not an exercise that’ll be completed any time soon....!
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True. And i agree that at some point even the apathetic British punter will be on the streets with pitchforks before they succeed. While the vermin intend this evil, they're too distracted by the infighting of Brexit to actually do anything other than acquire their wages. One might say that brexit has saved the nhs this parliament.
 
I'm coming up to the first week of the lower dose of Venlafaxine, and it's hard going. My hands are shaking, I'm having trouble articulating my thoughts, and all I want to do is sleep. I did see my brother last night, which was nice - he came over from Liverpool and took me out for a late birthday meal.

I haven't spoken to Franny since Monday. I know he messaged my mum to ask if I was OK. I sold my Space ticket to a friend who is much closer and nicer to him than I am. It hurts knowing she'll be backstage with Space instead of me, and she'll be welcome unlike Little Miss Victim here, but I'm terrified of Franny, not just because he blew up at me over what was actually quite a mild comment compared to other things I've seen about kopites on here, but because of what he said about 'I'm not saying what I really think'.
Tipp blue said:
People won't stand for it being privatised, impossible legalisation to introduce, there's be riots on the streets they know full well the consequences of such a move, that would be the last thing bar maybe state pension that they'd touch.
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Even the most hardcore Brexiter won't want to fork out thousands of pounds for health insurance, surely.
 
well ive had 4 weeks almost on this fluexitene (Prozac) … they aren't really performing like the citalopram did. im not feeling like I was on those. ive had a couple of days where I just haven't wanted to get up and do anything, but struggled through it.

im constantly feeling really really tired. I felt I could of slpet allday today, but got myself up and have done a few things.

got a dr appointment Monday, im probly going to ask to go back to citalopram, even though they give me horrendous nightmares.
 
Haven't posted in a while, mostly because things were going so good. I just wanted to enjoy it whilst it was lasting. Hopefully it does carry on but today (yesterday really) I had a BIG blip and came from nowhere.

I landed a new job about 5 weeks ago and it's mostly perfect with me. Very nice, down-to-Earth people and the work is tough but stimulating. Get to see all sorts of interesting stuff every day and the location is close by so travelling there isn't a pain in the neck like some jobs I've had in the past.

Yesterday morning I woke up as normal but was a little slow in getting up and about. My mum started really getting arsey with me, constantly fretting and saying quite aggressively how I needed to get up, saying worst case scenarios out loud. Her anxiety set mine off and set it off badly, felt like she completely dumped a load of it on me right at the start of the day.

Went into work and the morning was extremely busy, I'm still learning and sometimes I still need a helping hand with but things just wouldn't stop piling up. At one point I was being asked to do 3 different things and urgently and none of them was I certain on how too. Went into the bathroom to gather myself but only ended up feeling worse about it all. After about 2 hours I completely fell apart, I asked the manager to come outside the room for a word and just completely broke down in front of her, tears and everything. My anxiety had caused me to have a mini breakdown of sorts and I just couldn't cope at all, I felt so embarrassed falling to bits emotionally in front of her because I barely know her. Thankfully she was very kind and extremely understanding, she told me how happy she's been with me so far and I shouldn't be so hard on myself but I basically had to come clean and admit my anxiety had been set off at home that morning and I'd brought it into work with me. The work itself hadn't caused my meltdown, it had just been petrol on an already burning fire. She let me go home to gather myself, I'm very lucky she's got such a heart of gold. I'll be back in tomorrow but I'll feel sheepish, something like that can't be happening again.

I've barely spoken to my mum since, she asked what had happened but I point blank refused to tell her and I can tell she feels miffed by attitude towards her. I'm extremely angry at her, it was her anxiety and subsequent taking it out on me that in turn set of my anxiety badly and that in turn (along with the mad rush) which caused me to basically have a breakdown in a new job in front of essentially a stranger. I'm dying to scream myself hoarse at her and demand an apology for what she caused but instead I've gone the opposite route and made a point of completely ignoring her. I 100% blame her for what happened and there's no way I can make that clear verbally without starting world war 3, she'll refuse to take any responsibility.

I hope on the job front this can be quickly forgotten but it was still majorly embarrassing and put me in a situation where I had to reveal things I'd rather have not revealed (manager asked me if I take meds, I admitted I do but only a low dose). The whole thing has massively upset me and I just need to write it down and wxpress myself a bit before I can drop off to sleep.

Thanks people, share the love and up the Blues.
 
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