Infidelity

SerenityNigh · September 10, 2014

the esk said:
If that scenario exists, why would you want to change it?

I think too few give it that much thought, and the ones that do, consider it purely fantasy. Suddenly, when fantasy interrupts real life, what do you do?

Billy Dean · September 10, 2014

steken1 said:
Interesting how our attitudes to such things differ quite a lot to continetal europe and a few other places.

what's the consensus there then lad?

Dell Boy · September 10, 2014

bluemangroup said:
He text me. He's been in an accident cycling to work this morning. Nothing major but a broken wrist and a few nasty scratches.

I've no wish to call you a liar but if Mr Bungle has indeed got said injuries then they are going to have come from something a lot more seedy than falling off a bike.

Broken wrist? Caught fapping in public and got walloped by an old granny's umbrella.

Scratches you say?

steken1 · September 10, 2014

Billy Dean said:
what's the consensus there then lad?

FHL

blue4eva77 · September 10, 2014

ilikecheese said:
Disagree. I have self control though.

You said yourself you were tempted. Went as far as to split with your girl over it. Or have i read that wrong ?

Dell Boy · September 10, 2014

Putting the boot on the other foot? Could you / have you forgiven a cheat?

It's never happened to me but I think I could. God knows the mayhem and fury I'd unleash at the time but I think I could get over a one-off.

Boss_Blue · September 10, 2014

(Semi) serious post for the day

If you are happy in a relationship and feel the urge to sleep around then you shoudn't be in that relationship

If you are in a half arsed relationship then why are you in it at all?

Obviously ignore the above if Katy Perry is involved

RAFUH · September 10, 2014

blue4eva77 said:
You said yourself you were tempted. Went as far as to split with your girl over it. Or have i read that wrong ?

Noone can stop a psychological or physiological response to an attraction/temptation. I don't think you'll find one poster in a relationship that wouldn't admit to thinking "damn, she's/he's hot" (and if they do I'm vaulting the fit birds thread if it ever comes back).

It's up to the two people in the relationship to determine the boundaries of acceptable behavior within their construct. Flirting may be a step too far for some; okay for others. No different than deciding on an open relationship.

But ultimately the gist (ethics, morality, committment to the other) is your response to the temptation. How do you choose to act and make a conscious decision - relationship or temptation?

I can believe in a love and committment that results in a person and a relationship being of such importance to you that the attraction/temptation is a blip - barely noticed - decision made before the blip even happened.

Allezfan · September 10, 2014

RAFUH said:
Noone can stop a psychological or physiological response to an attraction/temptation. I don't think you'll find one poster in a relationship that wouldn't admit to thinking "damn, she's/he's hot" (and if they do I'm vaulting the fit birds thread if it ever comes back).

But ultimately the gist (ethics, morality, committment to the other) is your response to the temptation. How do you choose to act and make a conscious decision - relationship or temptation?

I can believe in a love and committment that results in a person and a relationship being of such importance to you that the attraction/temptation is a blip - barely noticed - decision made before the blip even happened.

Yeah, I've been mostly just making jokes but this is my basic opinion.

I think everybody in the world feels the desire to cheat but about half of us don't. And that's just because we decide that what we stand to lose outweighs what we stand to gain.

It's no more remarkable than making the decision to go to work in order to get money, going to the dentist in order to stay healthy or not eating that 12th cake in order to stay thin.

People ignore the short term gain of not going into work and staying in bed in favour of the long term gain of not getting fired, every day. Not cheating is no different and no more remarkable and worthy of praise than that.

Prevenger17 · September 10, 2014

CahillsCornerFlag said:
Just sat and read the entire thread, super stuff. Though I'm convinced more than ever that @chicoazul holds in depth dossiers about every single member on here. Any time you go for a new job and need a personal reference, he'll be sending in the evidence in no time.

Aye, the dreaded Chico files. He's a patient snide is @chicoazul, and he'll take us down with him when the time comes.

sageyefc · September 10, 2014

Billy Dean said:
what's the consensus there then lad?

fatshark · September 10, 2014

Dell Boy said:
I've no wish to call you a liar but if Mr Bungle has indeed got said injuries then they are going to have come from something a lot more seedy than falling off a bike.

Broken wrist? Caught fapping in public and got walloped by an old granny's umbrella.

Scratches you say?

He's going to haul out the old "a wasp flew up my pants and stung me on my scrote" excuse again, isn't he.

Dell Boy · September 10, 2014

Allezfan said:
Yeah, I've been mostly just making jokes but this is my basic opinion.

I think everybody in the world feels the desire to cheat but about half of us don't. And that's just because we decide that what we stand to lose outweighs what we could lose.

People ignore the short term gain of not going into work and staying in bed in favour of the long term gain of not getting fired, every day. Not cheating is no different and no more remarkable and worthy of praise than that.

I agree with all that. My point was to go a bit further possibly and say that if someone is even half seriously tempted then they shouldn't be in a relationship in the first place.

canuckblue · September 11, 2014

Allezfan said:
Yeah, I've been mostly just making jokes but this is my basic opinion.

I think everybody in the world feels the desire to cheat but about half of us don't. And that's just because we decide that what we stand to lose outweighs what we stand to gain.

It's no more remarkable than making the decision to go to work in order to get money, going to the dentist in order to stay healthy or not eating that 12th cake in order to stay thin.

People ignore the short term gain of not going into work and staying in bed in favour of the long term gain of not getting fired, every day. Not cheating is no different and no more remarkable and worthy of praise than that.

As some of you on here might recall, my wife died of cancer in March 2007 (the day AJ scored the late winner vs. Arsenal). She'd been ill for a little over a year before she passed and early menopause and, sadly, a bout with alcoholism robbed her of her libido far before then. Yet not once did I ever think of leaving or even getting a bit on the side. The reason was the promise I made on our wedding day -- you know, for better or worse, in sickness or in health -- and in this day of deteriorating personal ethics, when it seems fewer are taking personal responsibility for their actions, I still feel my word is my bond and how you back up your words is what defines you as a person.

chicoazul · September 11, 2014

canuckblue said:
As some of you on here might recall, my wife died of cancer in March 2007 (the day AJ scored the late winner vs. Arsenal). She'd been ill for a little over a year before she passed and early menopause and, sadly, a bout with alcoholism robbed her of her libido far before then. Yet not once did I ever think of leaving or even getting a bit on the side. The reason was the promise I made on our wedding day -- you know, for better or worse, in sickness or in health -- and in this day of deteriorating personal ethics, when it seems fewer are taking personal responsibility for their actions, I still feel my word is my bond and how you back up your words is what defines you as a person.

Is right fully agreed mate.