What do i say to...
- Thread starter Abraders
- Start date
- Status
G
Gazdalf
Guest
Just tell him in the wise words of his saviour Alan Sugar
Harry Redknapp - You're Fired (well, lets face it, he will be when they win **** all)
Harry Redknapp - You're Fired (well, lets face it, he will be when they win **** all)
Sharpys top lip
Player Valuation: £60m
Take a dump in his bag were all his butties are. That'll hold him..!!
Clearly THIS.
ToffeeMark
Player Valuation: £30m
He's been brainwashed by the London Centric media who year in year out say tottenham are going to finish in the top four because the incompetent newsmen live amongst the deluded London fans...they often think west ham will finish above us..Spurs are already stuttering and will struggle for a europa league place. Best thing to do is say,
"Are you in Europe?, No, Ha, Chelsea, Arsenal, Fulham....they're the top three sides in London, you lot are gash."
"Are you in Europe?, No, Ha, Chelsea, Arsenal, Fulham....they're the top three sides in London, you lot are gash."
Reidy's Bottle Of Grecian
The Unobstructed View
ask him to put his money where his mouth is.
the mention of money usually has them doing one.
the mention of money usually has them doing one.
Hibbo
Player Valuation: £10m
I would laugh, cause I would say "you dont know football". He has no knowledge.
bluebastardo
Player Valuation: £40m
A man is sitting in a pub with his parrot one Saturday afternoon. The football results are coming up on the television in the corner, "Everton 3, Tottenham Hotspur 0," reads the announcer in his normal, rather sedate, voice.
Suddenly the parrot squawks "Oh, no, not again."
The shocked landlord says, "That's amazing. Why did he say that when the result was announced that Tottenham lost?"
"Because he's a Spurs supporter," the parrot's owner replies.
The landlord then asked what the parrot says when Tottenham win a match, to which the man replied, "I don't know. I've only had him three years."
Robbie Keane is ill so Fat 'Arry offers to do his shopping for him...
Whilst he's in Sainsbury's he bumps into David Moyes...
"What are you doing in here"? Davey asks Fat 'Arry...
"Gettin' a bag of potatoes for Robbie" he replies.
"Sounds like a good swap if you ask me" says Moyes.
Why do Spurs fans carry emergency lighters?
Because they tend to lose their matches.
What's the difference between a bus load of Spurs fans and a hedgehog?
On the hedgehog, the pricks are on the outside.
Whats the difference between an arsonist and Tottenham?
An arsonist wouldnt waste 38 matches.
A white van driver is making his deliveries through London when he spots an old preacher hobbling along the street and pulls up along side him to offer him a lift.
''where you going to father'' asked the driver
''Oh just to the end of this road'' replied the preacher
''Hop in I'll get you there faster'' said the driver.
The old preacher climbed in and off they drove.
Along the way the driver noticed a man wearing a spurs shirt walking on the pavement, being an arsenal fan the driver began to pull to his left and speed up to clip the spurs fan.
At the last second the driver remembered the preacher was in the car and swerved right back onto the road, although he was sure he missed the spurs fan he still heard a great 'thud'.
''forgive me father, it appears I might've hit that guy back there''
''No you missed him'' said the preacher, ''But I got him with the door''
Rail announcement.
Apparently trains are not running on the north london line due to a points failure in tottenham.
Fat 'Arry's on his way to a match and he's speeding. The inevitable happens and a copper pulls him over.
COP "Sir you were doing 106 miles an hour in a 70 zone".
'Arry "What does that mean officer?"
COP "Well, you'll get an £80 fine and you'll probably get 3 points as well"
'Arry "3 Points? That's more than I've got all season!"; "Make sure you're here on the way home as well".
A boy goes to a social worker and says I need somewhere to live. The social worker says what about your mum and dad?
No they beat me the boy replies.
Grandparents?
No they beat me harder says the boy.
Where do you want to live then asks the social woker.
The boy replies Tottenham..... they beat no one!
A bloke goes up to the box office at White Hart Lane, hands over £60 and says two please. The bloke behind the counter say what would you like sir... defenders, midfielders or strikers?
Fat 'Arry is at White Hart Lane talking with the Head Groundsman.
"The pitch is looking good" he says...
Head Groundsman replies.......
"Oh yes it does, we put 70 million quids worth of Horse [Poor language removed] on it every fortnight".
Richard Branson was asked to sponser Spurs, but he refused. How could he put Virgin on spurs shirts, when they get f****d every week?
Spurs have just annouced TAMPAX as their new shirt sponsors.
A spokesman for the club said we hope that this will help us through this very difficult period.
ESSEX POLICE STATEMENT- A man has been found in the thames this morning wearing a tottenham shirt, womens knickers, fishnet stockings and a dildo stuck up his arse.Police have removed his shirt to save the family any embarrasment.............
NEWSFLASH: Late last night, thieves broke into White Hart Lane and stole the entire contents of the trophy room. Police are searching for two men seen leaving the area carrying a white carpet!
The best thing about having Alzheimers is not remembering how [Poor language removed] Spurs are.
A blind bloke claims that he can tell which club badge is on a football just by holding it and listening to it so they hand him a ball and he feels it before holding it to his ear, I can hear Lions so it's Millwall.They are amazed that he is right and hand him another, again he holds then listens before saying I can hear guns firing so It's Arsenal.Brilliant they say and hand him another but without even listening to it he says thats Tottenham. That is incredible they say but how did you know without even listening to it. Easy he said It's going DOWN!!!
Fat 'Arry gets mugged in a buliding society. When he comes around the lady says ''its ok sir, you're in the Nationwide.'' 'Arry replies. ''It's not May already is it?''
A bloke walks into a bric-a-brac shop and sees an ornamental brass rat, the sort of thing women of a certain age love to put on the mantlepiece. He thinks "that'll be perfect for his mother's birthday", so he asks the shopkeeper how much it is.
"£25 for the rat, £100 for the story", replies the man.
"Forget the story" says the bloke, and so buys the rat for twenty-five quid. He walks off down the road, but has not gone thirty yards when a rat comes up from the gutter and starts to follow him. Soon more arrive, and in a few minutes the whole street is a sea of rats, all following the bloke, who keeps walking until he comes to a cliff. He throws the brass rat over, and millions of rats follow, one after each other, plunging to certain death. The bloke them runs back to shop.
"Aaaah", says the shop keeper, "you'll be back for the story, then?"
"Screw the story," replies the bloke. "Do you have a brass Tottenham Hotspur fan?"
Tottenham Council have denied Spurs permission to build a new stadium on Northumberland Park. A council spokesman said "A fair once a year is fine but a permanent circus is out of the question!"
A Spurs supporter went by a shop. He saw a video titled "Tottenham: The Golden Years" and asked the shopkeeper how much it was.
The shopkeeper told him "£200".
"£200!!! For a video!", says the Spud.
"Well actually", said the shopkeeper, "the video itself is only a fiver but the Betamax video player that you will need costs £195."
Reports from America state that David Blaine
is heartbroken after his record of being in a box for 48 days
doing absolutely nothing was beaten by Roman Pavlyuchenko.
Teacher says to class " what does your dad do at week ends ?" little boy says " he's a dancer in a gay bar and sometimes for extra money he has sex with the punters " Teacher takes him aside and says " Is that true ?" Boy replies " No Miss its b*llocks he plays for Spurs but i'm to embarrassed to say so "
Woman at the doctors with a cork stuck up her fanny. She says: When I take it out it chants 'Come on you Spurs' . Doc says: Don't worry, lots of c***s do that.
Sorry about the odd swear words......
Suddenly the parrot squawks "Oh, no, not again."
The shocked landlord says, "That's amazing. Why did he say that when the result was announced that Tottenham lost?"
"Because he's a Spurs supporter," the parrot's owner replies.
The landlord then asked what the parrot says when Tottenham win a match, to which the man replied, "I don't know. I've only had him three years."
Robbie Keane is ill so Fat 'Arry offers to do his shopping for him...
Whilst he's in Sainsbury's he bumps into David Moyes...
"What are you doing in here"? Davey asks Fat 'Arry...
"Gettin' a bag of potatoes for Robbie" he replies.
"Sounds like a good swap if you ask me" says Moyes.
Why do Spurs fans carry emergency lighters?
Because they tend to lose their matches.
What's the difference between a bus load of Spurs fans and a hedgehog?
On the hedgehog, the pricks are on the outside.
Whats the difference between an arsonist and Tottenham?
An arsonist wouldnt waste 38 matches.
A white van driver is making his deliveries through London when he spots an old preacher hobbling along the street and pulls up along side him to offer him a lift.
''where you going to father'' asked the driver
''Oh just to the end of this road'' replied the preacher
''Hop in I'll get you there faster'' said the driver.
The old preacher climbed in and off they drove.
Along the way the driver noticed a man wearing a spurs shirt walking on the pavement, being an arsenal fan the driver began to pull to his left and speed up to clip the spurs fan.
At the last second the driver remembered the preacher was in the car and swerved right back onto the road, although he was sure he missed the spurs fan he still heard a great 'thud'.
''forgive me father, it appears I might've hit that guy back there''
''No you missed him'' said the preacher, ''But I got him with the door''
Rail announcement.
Apparently trains are not running on the north london line due to a points failure in tottenham.
Fat 'Arry's on his way to a match and he's speeding. The inevitable happens and a copper pulls him over.
COP "Sir you were doing 106 miles an hour in a 70 zone".
'Arry "What does that mean officer?"
COP "Well, you'll get an £80 fine and you'll probably get 3 points as well"
'Arry "3 Points? That's more than I've got all season!"; "Make sure you're here on the way home as well".
A boy goes to a social worker and says I need somewhere to live. The social worker says what about your mum and dad?
No they beat me the boy replies.
Grandparents?
No they beat me harder says the boy.
Where do you want to live then asks the social woker.
The boy replies Tottenham..... they beat no one!
A bloke goes up to the box office at White Hart Lane, hands over £60 and says two please. The bloke behind the counter say what would you like sir... defenders, midfielders or strikers?
Fat 'Arry is at White Hart Lane talking with the Head Groundsman.
"The pitch is looking good" he says...
Head Groundsman replies.......
"Oh yes it does, we put 70 million quids worth of Horse [Poor language removed] on it every fortnight".
Richard Branson was asked to sponser Spurs, but he refused. How could he put Virgin on spurs shirts, when they get f****d every week?
Spurs have just annouced TAMPAX as their new shirt sponsors.
A spokesman for the club said we hope that this will help us through this very difficult period.
ESSEX POLICE STATEMENT- A man has been found in the thames this morning wearing a tottenham shirt, womens knickers, fishnet stockings and a dildo stuck up his arse.Police have removed his shirt to save the family any embarrasment.............
NEWSFLASH: Late last night, thieves broke into White Hart Lane and stole the entire contents of the trophy room. Police are searching for two men seen leaving the area carrying a white carpet!
The best thing about having Alzheimers is not remembering how [Poor language removed] Spurs are.
A blind bloke claims that he can tell which club badge is on a football just by holding it and listening to it so they hand him a ball and he feels it before holding it to his ear, I can hear Lions so it's Millwall.They are amazed that he is right and hand him another, again he holds then listens before saying I can hear guns firing so It's Arsenal.Brilliant they say and hand him another but without even listening to it he says thats Tottenham. That is incredible they say but how did you know without even listening to it. Easy he said It's going DOWN!!!
Fat 'Arry gets mugged in a buliding society. When he comes around the lady says ''its ok sir, you're in the Nationwide.'' 'Arry replies. ''It's not May already is it?''
A bloke walks into a bric-a-brac shop and sees an ornamental brass rat, the sort of thing women of a certain age love to put on the mantlepiece. He thinks "that'll be perfect for his mother's birthday", so he asks the shopkeeper how much it is.
"£25 for the rat, £100 for the story", replies the man.
"Forget the story" says the bloke, and so buys the rat for twenty-five quid. He walks off down the road, but has not gone thirty yards when a rat comes up from the gutter and starts to follow him. Soon more arrive, and in a few minutes the whole street is a sea of rats, all following the bloke, who keeps walking until he comes to a cliff. He throws the brass rat over, and millions of rats follow, one after each other, plunging to certain death. The bloke them runs back to shop.
"Aaaah", says the shop keeper, "you'll be back for the story, then?"
"Screw the story," replies the bloke. "Do you have a brass Tottenham Hotspur fan?"
Tottenham Council have denied Spurs permission to build a new stadium on Northumberland Park. A council spokesman said "A fair once a year is fine but a permanent circus is out of the question!"
A Spurs supporter went by a shop. He saw a video titled "Tottenham: The Golden Years" and asked the shopkeeper how much it was.
The shopkeeper told him "£200".
"£200!!! For a video!", says the Spud.
"Well actually", said the shopkeeper, "the video itself is only a fiver but the Betamax video player that you will need costs £195."
Reports from America state that David Blaine
is heartbroken after his record of being in a box for 48 days
doing absolutely nothing was beaten by Roman Pavlyuchenko.
Teacher says to class " what does your dad do at week ends ?" little boy says " he's a dancer in a gay bar and sometimes for extra money he has sex with the punters " Teacher takes him aside and says " Is that true ?" Boy replies " No Miss its b*llocks he plays for Spurs but i'm to embarrassed to say so "
Woman at the doctors with a cork stuck up her fanny. She says: When I take it out it chants 'Come on you Spurs' . Doc says: Don't worry, lots of c***s do that.
Sorry about the odd swear words......
Perfect way to end the day. I'm sending these to every Spurs fan I know! Rep.
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