Can't believe Norwich have made it back up, it's been a while since I've rucked with the East Anglia Hell Squad. They're right rum. They caught me on my todd taking a piss in a canal in 1987. All I heard was "Van Den Hauwe was offside you scouse [Poor language removed]" before this geezer the size of a wardrobe unleashed his best uppercut on me. I took it, felt a wobble but controlled it. Put my f*cking dick away and zipped up and faced them. Forty of them easy. Cool as you like I took off my pink Kappa wool jumper, folded it, and laid it on the grass. One by one them started shifting away. From the back. Then the middle. Then the front. On their toes. Just me and one of their lads left. Woodo was his name. I asked him why he hadn't ran like the rest of the pride of Norwich. "I've just had a stroke out of fear" he replied "my facken legs don't work anymore". I took out my stanley knife dead calm. Walked up to him. Let him sweat. Stared at him for full 30 seconds then turned, collected my pink kappa jumper and strutted away. Bunked on the train home. Lobster Pot by f*cking eleven bells.
Some time I'll tell you about Ipswich heard we were coming and cornered us in some alleys with a pet alligator on a chain. But that's for another day.