Uni Confessions

[Brennan]

****ing hell. Jesus. Just got in from the anti clothes night. Walking home seen a bird in a fleece. Cut it short, she came in my room with her fella mate who drives coaches. He left. I had sex with a 28 year old wearing a fleece. I was wearing nothing but two whiteboards and a condom. My housemates sat outside my door and listened. I wasn't enjoying it after a while so faked a jizz. She's gone and I feel disgusting. Do not go to Lincoln.

Bravo son

 

[Kurt.]

I have a degree in 'Going to Bangor on freshers week and fingering loads of birds'....................

 

[heatmeiser]

****ing hell. Jesus. Just got in from the anti clothes night. Walking home seen a bird in a fleece. Cut it short, she came in my room with her fella mate who drives coaches. He left. I had sex with a 28 year old wearing a fleece. I was wearing nothing but two whiteboards and a condom. My housemates sat outside my door and listened. I wasn't enjoying it after a while so faked a jizz. She's gone and I feel disgusting. Do not go to Lincoln.

She was wearing a fleece?

Was she also making strange bleating noises?

Did she have a cloven foof?

 

[steken1]

****ing hell. Jesus. Just got in from the anti clothes night. Walking home seen a bird in a fleece. Cut it short, she came in my room with her fella mate who drives coaches. He left. I had sex with a 28 year old wearing a fleece. I was wearing nothing but two whiteboards and a condom. My housemates sat outside my door and listened. I wasn't enjoying it after a while so faked a jizz. She's gone and I feel disgusting. Do not go to Lincoln.

baaaaaaa-d

 

[Bungle]

****ing hell. Jesus. Just got in from the anti clothes night. Walking home seen a bird in a fleece. Cut it short, she came in my room with her fella mate who drives coaches. He left. I had sex with a 28 year old wearing a fleece. I was wearing nothing but two whiteboards and a condom. My housemates sat outside my door and listened. I wasn't enjoying it after a while so faked a jizz. She's gone and I feel disgusting. Do not go to Lincoln.

Rumbled

 

[harryjam]

Rumbled

That looks a lot better..

 

[Titus Bramble]

Very drunk last freshers week and i stole a pool ball from The Academy (pub ). Later that night i met a fat girl lurking outside yokos (club ) and took her back to mine for some sexytime. The girl loved anal and in her drunken state agreed to let me put the pool ball in her arse, happy days! I took it back the next day.

 

[Royal Blue Jersey]

I can only disappoint on the crazy (and I must say, almost certainly exaggerated beyond all believability by all of you!) sex stories front but I took alot of drugs, they always lend themselves to interesting capers...

 

[Royal Blue Jersey]

My one and only crazy story involves bringing a very real looking water pistol into what is supposedly a Yakuza hangout in Liverpool's chinatown and shouting Get me Master Zhi Ming! , shooting the water pistol at these lads in leather Superdry jackets and telling my mates to leg it, we were in a taxi to Allerton within 90 seconds, we still cry laughing about it now, but I could of got in some serious crap at the time either way.

Absolutely brilliant. I prefer these kind of stories. Also, they're clearly not confined to uni... I can understand the distaste from people on here about 'uni life' and students in general, I'm still a student and I can't stand the majority of them. I was only ever gonna go to Uni of Liverpool because I never wanted to leave and was desperate to keep my season ticket, so I did. The kind of hijinks you got up to in Chinatown, LTblue, were of the kind I'd usually get up to with my mates when I was in sixth form. I had my best times then anyway, Uni was/is **** in comparison.

I love the ridiculous, immature cowardice of running in, spraying a water pistol and legging it for dear life back to the safety of posh Allerton. Exactly the kind of embarrassing **** I did as well, but it made us laugh at the time, and that was more important than anything (especially being able to tell a more macho story)

 

[Foot Long Hot Dog]

Very drunk last freshers week and i stole a pool ball from The Academy (pub ). Later that night i met a fat girl lurking outside yokos (club ) and took her back to mine for some sexytime. The girl loved anal and in her drunken state agreed to let me put the pool ball in her arse, happy days! I took it back the next day.

haha, I'm not having that one, you've pushed the envelope too far there mate.

 

[paulbefc]

****ing hell. Jesus. Just got in from the anti clothes night. Walking home seen a bird in a fleece. Cut it short, she came in my room with her fella mate who drives coaches. He left. I had sex with a 28 year old wearing a fleece. I was wearing nothing but two whiteboards and a condom. My housemates sat outside my door and listened. I wasn't enjoying it after a while so faked a jizz. She's gone and I feel disgusting. Do not go to Lincoln.

Hahaha, one of my best mates from 6th form goes to Lincoln. He thought it'd be a bit dead as it's hardly got the best nightlife but sh*t seriously goes down there from what I've heard.

 

[ToffeeMark]

My flat mate introduced me to whisky in a coffee mug and a "bucket" (smoke) on the first night.

It was a hell of a 3 years.

 

[harryjam]

Hahaha, one of my best mates from 6th form goes to Lincoln. He thought it'd be a bit dead as it's hardly got the best nightlife but sh*t seriously goes down there from what I've heard.

You could say that. Threesomes everywhere as well, it's mental. I actually don't think the nightlife is that bad, each night is a "big" night for one club so everyone will go there. Tiny city with 11,000 students on £1 vodka redbulls.

 

[harryjam]

****ing hell. Jesus. Just got in from the anti clothes night. Walking home seen a bird in a fleece. Cut it short, she came in my room with her fella mate who drives coaches. He left. I had sex with a 28 year old wearing a fleece. I was wearing nothing but two whiteboards and a condom. My housemates sat outside my door and listened. I wasn't enjoying it after a while so faked a jizz. She's gone and I feel disgusting. Do not go to Lincoln.

Forgot to add (too drunk last night to add) she gave me a wank in a car park on the way home.