harryjam
Player Valuation: £8m
Seen plenty of these on Facebook, basically people sharing their worst stories from uni anonymously. Thinking we could get a few of the best on here.
Lincoln Uni
Confession #66
Last year at some point, my mate gave me a call. He sounded thoroughly traumatised so I went to his flat to find him naked with a pillow strapped to his arse with some duct tape. He looked like an abused child with a new, and very strange hobby. Anyway after a while of talking to him about life in general, I decided to ask the question that had been whizzing round my head like a fly. "Why the pillow?"
The following story has amazed me ever since and left me fairly curious.
"So I was standing there at Supersaves," he said "trying to buy a bottle of frosty jacks. I saw this girl giving me the eye. I thought nothing of it as it looked like she had a boyfriend. Anyway, after I had bought the cider, I walked away and felt a slap on my arse. It turned out to be this girl. Anyway long story short we ended up at her place, going at it like rabbits. She said half way through, ‘let me know when you're about to cum’. So we carried on a bit and just as I felt it was time I told her, just as she had asked. She then shouted ‘MARK!!!’ to which the guy who I originally assumed was her boyfriend jumped out from underneath the bed and rammed a HUGE dildo up my arse! So I'm lying there on top of this girl with nothing but a dildo between my ring piece and a strange man's fist."
My mate then proceeded to say the best line to end such a story.
"The funny thing was, despite not being able to sit down and not trusting my farts for fear of ****ting myself, it was the best orgasm I've ever had!!"
Lincoln Uni
Confession #66
Last year at some point, my mate gave me a call. He sounded thoroughly traumatised so I went to his flat to find him naked with a pillow strapped to his arse with some duct tape. He looked like an abused child with a new, and very strange hobby. Anyway after a while of talking to him about life in general, I decided to ask the question that had been whizzing round my head like a fly. "Why the pillow?"
The following story has amazed me ever since and left me fairly curious.
"So I was standing there at Supersaves," he said "trying to buy a bottle of frosty jacks. I saw this girl giving me the eye. I thought nothing of it as it looked like she had a boyfriend. Anyway, after I had bought the cider, I walked away and felt a slap on my arse. It turned out to be this girl. Anyway long story short we ended up at her place, going at it like rabbits. She said half way through, ‘let me know when you're about to cum’. So we carried on a bit and just as I felt it was time I told her, just as she had asked. She then shouted ‘MARK!!!’ to which the guy who I originally assumed was her boyfriend jumped out from underneath the bed and rammed a HUGE dildo up my arse! So I'm lying there on top of this girl with nothing but a dildo between my ring piece and a strange man's fist."
My mate then proceeded to say the best line to end such a story.
"The funny thing was, despite not being able to sit down and not trusting my farts for fear of ****ting myself, it was the best orgasm I've ever had!!"
