Things you regret

[SpurtingLesbian]

On my second day ever in student accommodation I came home drunk and helped myself to an entire box of Birds Eye Potato Waffles that belonged to a girl called Catherine who I'd already offended when we first met by too obviously being unable to tell her gender.

The following morning I woke up with her screaming at me. Turns out I fell asleep in the kitchen with the empty box of waffles in my hand. I just recall her shouting "MY WAFFLES! MY WAFFLES!" for quite a long time. For some reason the only thing I could think to do was deny any guilt. I said "IT WASN'T ME! I DON'T EVEN LIKE WAFFLES!" and she said "YOU'RE TELLING ME YOU DIDN'T EAT MY WAFFLES EVEN THOUGH YOU'RE HOLDING THE EMPTY WAFFLES BOX IN YOUR HAND?!?!" and I said "YES! I KNOW IT SEEMS UNLIKELY BUT DON'T YOU THINK SUCH EVIDENCE IS SO OBVIOUSLY INCRIMINATING THAT MY PLEA, DEAR SIR, MUST IN FACT BE TRUE, IN A TELLING NOD TO THE OLD ADDAGE THAT TRUTH IS OFTEN STRANGER THAN FICTION?!" This gave her pause for a few seconds, before she began to scream "MY WAFFLES!" again for several minutes.

Later she turned to Ket, which pretty much ended her bodybuilding career. I can't help but feel responsible.

aye, but finish the story, was she an OK shag or not.

 

[caught]

Do you still eat waffles ?

Only your mar's, mate.

 

[summerisle]

Only your mar's, mate.

If you will use common or garden ripostes then :

 

[caught]

If you will use common or garden ripostes then :

Please see the "Things you regret from the 'Things you regret' thread" for my full apology.

 

[summerisle]

Please see the "Things you regret from the 'Things you regret' thread" for my full apology.

Maybe later

 

[degsy]

Sorry I missed that I have my day job to do as well

outrageous exploitation in that case comrade, rise up, fling off the chains of oppression brother. GOT will, to a man or woman, aid you in your struggle...if it's not raining or it becomes too much bother.
#freethelowste1

 

[dandydan]

I regret not banging everything I had the opportunity to before I got old and fat.

Same, my standards were way too high for someone of my looks.

 

[Jamo Martinez]

Well I sometimes regret not taking my father's advice years back and taking a course to teach English as a foreign language. I might be working here in one of the private schools on a pretty good wage and long summer holidays.

But then again I wouldn't have met my wife and moved to Spain. I then might have accepted a teaching job in Turkey, been framed for selling pot and sent to prison for 30 years. I'd now be about 20 years into that sentence and be the bitch of someone called Fatih.

At least I could laugh at his name. Haha, Fatih you fat sodomist.

 

[Jamo Martinez]

I regret the stereotyping in my previous post.

 

[Toast]

Ive seen it before, but I'm watching Jimmy White on ITV here..

Regrets.. He's had a few.

 

[Lids1978]

Wanting to go on Jim'll Fix It when I was a kid cause he seemed sound on television like..

 

[Tree13]

I would have been more successful in career terms if I had not bothered with uni and instead gone to Sandhurst. Having said that, I wouldn't have met the friends I have now, or my wife, if I hadn't gone to uni.

I don't regret the regrets I regret.

 

[PITA]

I would have been more successful in career terms if I had not bothered with uni and instead gone to Sandhurst. Having said that, I wouldn't have met the friends I have now, or my wife, if I hadn't gone to uni.

I don't regret the regrets I regret.

I went to Uni then later Dartmouth. Like you, 'having said that, I wouldn't have met the friends I have now, or my wife, if I hadn't gone to uni' but unlike you then Dartmouth.

Life is what it turns out to be.

 

[l4toffee]

Last nights ale and kebab

A 2 hour gym session is the punishment this morning .

 

[Eggs]

....my mum died in her early 60s, I regret not being able to give her back the commitment she gave to me. If your own Mums are alive make a fuss of them, they won't be here forever.