The Johnny 'Colossus' Heitinga Appreciation Thread

[chicoazul]

Floury, defo floury.

 

[Reidy's Bottle Of Grecian]

Good foodstuffs there. Nice work.



I discovered the hotdogs opposite the Park End last time I went, really decent they were too.

I'm talkin the shiz inside. foot long jobs.

as i said 'the yak' no working out required.

 

[Reidy's Bottle Of Grecian]

Floury, defo floury.

the others are a kind of bread aero.

 

[GrandOldTeam]

Johnny: "When the game starts I want to win, and it doesn’t matter how. If I have to kick someone because he is going through on goal, then I will, I want to win. After the game I will shake hands and go for a drink with them but, in the game, there is only one winner and for me that is Everton"

 

[Mutzo Nutzo]

At the age of 5 young Johnny was banned from his local zoo for intimidating the tigers, and wrestling the bears

 

[Micky]

At the age of 5 young Johnny was banned from his local zoo for intimidating the tigers, and wrestling the bears

Classic that.

 

[bigblueboy]

here,s JOHNNY............

his valuation goes up game by game..... another moyes classic.. arl scare the tigers...

 

[Jamo Martinez]

Johnny: "When the game starts I want to win, and it doesn’t matter how. If I have to kick someone because he is going through on goal, then I will, I want to win. After the game I will shake hands and go for a drink with them but, in the game, there is only one winner and for me that is Everton"

Stands up and applauds

Then swoons and wakes up with a concerned wife asking me what I've taken.

 

[Goku]

John Heitinga has people buried under his patio
John Heitinga is the Don
John Heitinga rules Holland with an iron dildo
John Heitinga smokes cocaine, injects weed and sniffs heroin
John Heitinga has 6 wives, 12 mistresses, 9 bits on the side and still finds the strength to bash out 5 wanks a day on top of shagging all of them
John Heitinga shot the sheriff and then ground the deputy into dust
John Heitinga lost 1 arse cheek in an unfortunate smelting accident
John Heitinga has 45 illegitimate children all of whom are named Johan
John Heitinga eats small children and swills them down with bunny rabbit blood
John Heitinga knew the beatles before they were famous
John Heitinga owns the red light district
John Heitinga shoots puppies with a shotgun
John Heitinga is turning paddys wigwam into a ganja factory
John Heitinga is banging Alex Curran/Gerrard
John Heitinga told Jose Mourinho how to be "special"
John Heitinga hates Jolean Lescott
John Heitinga has a pet alligator that he feeds on a diet of dead cats
John Heitinga supervises mass orgies wile sitting atop a pile of naked bodies
John Heitinga is working undercover for the Dutch government to organise the killing of Dirk Kujt
John Heitinga owns a three wheel van which he uses to tow his caravan
John Heitinga killed for the first time aged just 4 years and 8 months old
John Heitinga has your mum on speed dial
John Heitinga is a pimp to 237 prostitutes and 1 gay guy
John Heitinga is Fernando Torres's real dad and knows that s/he is really a woman
John Heitinga is the reason the managers of Real Madrid never last longer than a season as the board fear him
John Heitinga leaving is the reason Athletico Madrid are struggling this season
John Heitinga called Rafael Benitez a stupid beardy **** to his face before slapping him on his arse and calling him his bitch
John Heitinga's home has a pool full of human blood
John Heitinga shot JR in Dallas
John Heitinga was the second gunman on the grassy knowl
John Heitinga shits concrete n pisses acid
John Heitinga drinks pints of whiskey on a night out
John Heitinga can sniff cocaine up through his arsehole
John Heitinga invented taking alcohol into the bloodstream via the eyeball - hence why he is known as Johnny H-eyedrinker back in Holland
John Heitinga lost his parents who suffered similtaneous heart attacks during a rampant sex session
John Heitinga is the banker on deal or no deal
John Heitinga made the devil squeel like a bitch
John Heitinga is always watching you
John Heitinga is the reason why Joleon Lescott has a scar on his head.
John Heitinga can make a paraplegic get out of his wheelchair and run
John Heitinga's testicles do not produce sperm. They produce tiny white ninjas that recognize only one mission: seek and destroy.

 

[Jamo Martinez]

John Heitinga has people buried under his patio
John Heitinga is the Don
John Heitinga rules Holland with an iron dildo
John Heitinga smokes cocaine, injects weed and sniffs heroin
John Heitinga has 6 wives, 12 mistresses, 9 bits on the side and still finds the strength to bash out 5 wanks a day on top of shagging all of them
John Heitinga shot the sheriff and then ground the deputy into dust
John Heitinga lost 1 arse cheek in an unfortunate smelting accident
John Heitinga has 45 illegitimate children all of whom are named Johan
John Heitinga eats small children and swills them down with bunny rabbit blood
John Heitinga knew the beatles before they were famous
John Heitinga owns the red light district
John Heitinga shoots puppies with a shotgun
John Heitinga is turning paddys wigwam into a ganja factory
John Heitinga is banging Alex Curran/Gerrard
John Heitinga told Jose Mourinho how to be "special"
John Heitinga hates Jolean Lescott
John Heitinga has a pet alligator that he feeds on a diet of dead cats
John Heitinga supervises mass orgies wile sitting atop a pile of naked bodies
John Heitinga is working undercover for the Dutch government to organise the killing of Dirk Kujt
John Heitinga owns a three wheel van which he uses to tow his caravan
John Heitinga killed for the first time aged just 4 years and 8 months old
John Heitinga has your mum on speed dial
John Heitinga is a pimp to 237 prostitutes and 1 gay guy
John Heitinga is Fernando Torres's real dad and knows that s/he is really a woman
John Heitinga is the reason the managers of Real Madrid never last longer than a season as the board fear him
John Heitinga leaving is the reason Athletico Madrid are struggling this season
John Heitinga called Rafael Benitez a stupid beardy **** to his face before slapping him on his arse and calling him his bitch
John Heitinga's home has a pool full of human blood
John Heitinga shot JR in Dallas
John Heitinga was the second gunman on the grassy knowl
John Heitinga shits concrete n pisses acid
John Heitinga drinks pints of whiskey on a night out
John Heitinga can sniff cocaine up through his arsehole
John Heitinga invented taking alcohol into the bloodstream via the eyeball - hence why he is known as Johnny H-eyedrinker back in Holland
John Heitinga lost his parents who suffered similtaneous heart attacks during a rampant sex session
John Heitinga is the banker on deal or no deal
John Heitinga made the devil squeel like a bitch
John Heitinga is always watching you
John Heitinga is the reason why Joleon Lescott has a scar on his head.
John Heitinga can make a paraplegic get out of his wheelchair and run
John Heitinga's testicles do not produce sperm. They produce tiny white ninjas that recognize only one mission: seek and destroy.

I was just going to say that.

I wish.

Magnifico that mate

 

[Muggins]

John Heitinga has people buried under his patio
John Heitinga is the Don
John Heitinga rules Holland with an iron dildo
John Heitinga smokes cocaine, injects weed and sniffs heroin
John Heitinga has 6 wives, 12 mistresses, 9 bits on the side and still finds the strength to bash out 5 wanks a day on top of shagging all of them
John Heitinga shot the sheriff and then ground the deputy into dust
John Heitinga lost 1 arse cheek in an unfortunate smelting accident
John Heitinga has 45 illegitimate children all of whom are named Johan
John Heitinga eats small children and swills them down with bunny rabbit blood
John Heitinga knew the beatles before they were famous
John Heitinga owns the red light district
John Heitinga shoots puppies with a shotgun
John Heitinga is turning paddys wigwam into a ganja factory
John Heitinga is banging Alex Curran/Gerrard
John Heitinga told Jose Mourinho how to be "special"
John Heitinga hates Jolean Lescott
John Heitinga has a pet alligator that he feeds on a diet of dead cats
John Heitinga supervises mass orgies wile sitting atop a pile of naked bodies
John Heitinga is working undercover for the Dutch government to organise the killing of Dirk Kujt
John Heitinga owns a three wheel van which he uses to tow his caravan
John Heitinga killed for the first time aged just 4 years and 8 months old
John Heitinga has your mum on speed dial
John Heitinga is a pimp to 237 prostitutes and 1 gay guy
John Heitinga is Fernando Torres's real dad and knows that s/he is really a woman
John Heitinga is the reason the managers of Real Madrid never last longer than a season as the board fear him
John Heitinga leaving is the reason Athletico Madrid are struggling this season
John Heitinga called Rafael Benitez a stupid beardy **** to his face before slapping him on his arse and calling him his bitch
John Heitinga's home has a pool full of human blood
John Heitinga shot JR in Dallas
John Heitinga was the second gunman on the grassy knowl
John Heitinga shits concrete n pisses acid
John Heitinga drinks pints of whiskey on a night out
John Heitinga can sniff cocaine up through his arsehole
John Heitinga invented taking alcohol into the bloodstream via the eyeball - hence why he is known as Johnny H-eyedrinker back in Holland
John Heitinga lost his parents who suffered similtaneous heart attacks during a rampant sex session
John Heitinga is the banker on deal or no deal
John Heitinga made the devil squeel like a bitch
John Heitinga is always watching you
John Heitinga is the reason why Joleon Lescott has a scar on his head.
John Heitinga can make a paraplegic get out of his wheelchair and run
John Heitinga's testicles do not produce sperm. They produce tiny white ninjas that recognize only one mission: seek and destroy.

is there anything this man can't do?

 

[Mutzo Nutzo]

John Heitinga has people buried under his patio
John Heitinga is the Don
John Heitinga rules Holland with an iron dildo
John Heitinga smokes cocaine, injects weed and sniffs heroin
John Heitinga has 6 wives, 12 mistresses, 9 bits on the side and still finds the strength to bash out 5 wanks a day on top of shagging all of them
John Heitinga shot the sheriff and then ground the deputy into dust
John Heitinga lost 1 arse cheek in an unfortunate smelting accident
John Heitinga has 45 illegitimate children all of whom are named Johan
John Heitinga eats small children and swills them down with bunny rabbit blood
John Heitinga knew the beatles before they were famous
John Heitinga owns the red light district
John Heitinga shoots puppies with a shotgun
John Heitinga is turning paddys wigwam into a ganja factory
John Heitinga is banging Alex Curran/Gerrard
John Heitinga told Jose Mourinho how to be "special"
John Heitinga hates Jolean Lescott
John Heitinga has a pet alligator that he feeds on a diet of dead cats
John Heitinga supervises mass orgies wile sitting atop a pile of naked bodies
John Heitinga is working undercover for the Dutch government to organise the killing of Dirk Kujt
John Heitinga owns a three wheel van which he uses to tow his caravan
John Heitinga killed for the first time aged just 4 years and 8 months old
John Heitinga has your mum on speed dial
John Heitinga is a pimp to 237 prostitutes and 1 gay guy
John Heitinga is Fernando Torres's real dad and knows that s/he is really a woman
John Heitinga is the reason the managers of Real Madrid never last longer than a season as the board fear him
John Heitinga leaving is the reason Athletico Madrid are struggling this season
John Heitinga called Rafael Benitez a stupid beardy **** to his face before slapping him on his arse and calling him his bitch
John Heitinga's home has a pool full of human blood
John Heitinga shot JR in Dallas
John Heitinga was the second gunman on the grassy knowl
John Heitinga shits concrete n pisses acid
John Heitinga drinks pints of whiskey on a night out
John Heitinga can sniff cocaine up through his arsehole
John Heitinga invented taking alcohol into the bloodstream via the eyeball - hence why he is known as Johnny H-eyedrinker back in Holland
John Heitinga lost his parents who suffered similtaneous heart attacks during a rampant sex session
John Heitinga is the banker on deal or no deal
John Heitinga made the devil squeel like a bitch
John Heitinga is always watching you
John Heitinga is the reason why Joleon Lescott has a scar on his head.
John Heitinga can make a paraplegic get out of his wheelchair and run
John Heitinga's testicles do not produce sperm. They produce tiny white ninjas that recognize only one mission: seek and destroy.

My Fave - John Heitinga has 45 illegitimate children all of whom are named Johan

 

[kenada_blue]

Johnny: "When the game starts I want to win, and it doesn’t matter how. If I have to kick someone because he is going through on goal, then I will, I want to win. After the game I will shake hands and go for a drink with them but, in the game, there is only one winner and for me that is Everton"

*spunks in kecks*

I'm in love.

 

[best little spaniard]

Johnny: "When the game starts I want to win, and it doesn’t matter how. If I have to kick someone because he is going through on goal, then I will, I want to win. After the game I will shake hands and go for a drink with them but, in the game, there is only one winner and for me that is Everton"

It's a pity we lost that game really

 

[ijjysmith]

is there anything this man can't do?

Yep...play for the dirty red kopsh*tes...and even if he did he'd deliberatly be [Poor language removed] just to make all us lot happy.