the darwin awards

[Reidy's Bottle Of Grecian]

The Darwin Awards salute the improvement of
the human genome by honoring those who
accidentally remove themselves from it...

after a couple of posts on another thread i thought the darwin awards deserved one of their own. the posts are below...

 

[Reidy's Bottle Of Grecian]

The Darwin Awards

i searched on here and amazingly i found a story that made my jaw drop, as i remember the incident well as i used to work with the guys best mate, who lit it for him .
1999 Honorable Mention: Zany New Zealand Contest

(7 June 1999, New Zealand) A computer technician trainee set his own penis aflame in a successful attempt to win $NZ500 cash and an equal bar tab.
Thomas stapled his penis to a white crucifix, poured cigarette lighter fluid over it, and set it on fire in his bid to win a controversial "How Far Will You Go?" promotion for Trader McKendry's Tavern in Christchurch. The event, sponsored by New Zealand Breweries, encouraged patrons to compete for the most lewd act.
Thomas walked away with the top prize, which he used for car registration, a warrant of fitness, and registration for his bloodhound Puss. He obtained free medical treatment for his bruised and burned penis at a student clinic, He says his member "was a wee bit tender the next day," but after two weeks he has almost recovered, and expresses no regrets about his actions.
The prize winner claims he is no masochist. "I'm a student so every bit helps. It was worth the money, and it's all better now. I thought my act was unbeatable.' He intends to use the bar tab to buy burgers and pies every day for lunch.
Thomas' mother Barbara, who was in the audience, was pleased her son won. "He is a grown man and I'm relieved that he won. I would have hated for someone to go through all that and not achieve the object of it all."
Pictures of Thomas' Qualifying Round from Rotten.com: please send proof of your adult status to Darwin. Ask for the Zanies.


this guy was nice as pie but looked like a total freek, i remember it because... well not one to forget tbh but i had,they said so you're just the lighter are you? or do you have a party trick as well he said in the interview that he was a robotics technician, whereas he 'operated' a cnc machine.

thats the lad (thomas hendrie) his mate was studs everywhere, 6 haircuts going on and wore a long rommel coat in summer.
Amusing Stuff: <b>Penis Prank Gains World Honour </b>
he's the sort of guy the internet loves.

Fortifying himself with a bottle of wine, Hendry took a white pine crucifix and, with an industrial stapler, pumped 18 staples into his scrotum and foreskin.

Hendry earned a total $2600 for his efforts, including royalties from the re-enactment and photos.

But was the notoriety worth the pain?

"Absolutely. It's a fun story to have up your sleeve," Hendry said.

"I usually keep quiet about it at work when I've got a new job. But eventually something leaks out or I might let slip to someone, accidentally on purpose, just for fun.

"It's not something I have dropped into any dinner conversations with girlfriends' parents or anything like that. You have to pick your moment for sure."

As for the wooden crucifix used in his act, it is still getting him into strife.

On a visit to Christchurch last April he retrieved it from his mother's wardrobe. But on his return trip Melbourne custom officers found traces of borer and refused to let the crucifix into the country.

"It cost me $A30 ($NZ33) to fumigate it and then they released it a month later and now it is sitting in my lounge on the sideboard. I'll chuck it up on (internet auction site) eBay one day."

 

[SuitsBlue]

I wonder if you will have your character besmirched by the witch finder general for glorifying in the passing of fellow human beings. deserved or otherwise.

(Im not offended reidy, but having been back two days, his lordship has already started having a go and personally trying to attack me - and it isn't the first time. just taking an opportunity to point out his hypocrisy, again.)

 

[Reidy's Bottle Of Grecian]

I wonder if you will have your character besmirched by the witch finder general for glorifying in the passing of fellow human beings. deserved or otherwise.

(Im not offended reidy, but having been back two days, his lordship has already started having a go and personally trying to attack me - and it isn't the first time. just taking an opportunity to point out his hypocrisy, again.)

the darwins are for people who have removed themselves or removed their ability to reproduce by their own stupidity. so no glorifying of their passing as such, more saying "well you stupid..."

none of these have died through illness as far as i know, some have maybe met their end doing stunts or suchlike for "entertainment " purposes, i havent read them all like but i doubt if illness would qualify a person, unless they contracted something in bizarre circumstances through stupidity.

 

[SuitsBlue]

no worries reidy, i was just calling nebbiolo out is all.

 

[Reidy's Bottle Of Grecian]

big duncs burglars dont realise how lightly they got off
2007 Darwin Award: Crutch, Meet Crotch

 

[Reidy's Bottle Of Grecian]

and you can shove your pint up your ar5e.......


(21 May 2004, Texas) Michael was an alcoholic. And not an ordinary alcoholic, but an alcoholic who liked to take his liquor, well, rectally. His wife said he was "addicted to enemas" and often used alcohol in this manner. The result was the same: inebriation.
The machine shop owner couldn't imbibe alcohol by mouth due to a painful throat ailment, so he elected to receive his favourite beverage via enema. And tonight, Michael was in for one hell of a party. Two 1.5 litre bottles of sherry, more than 100 fluid ounces, right up the old address!
When the rest of us have had enough, we either stop drinking or pass out. When Michael had had enough (and subsequently passed out) the alcohol remaining in his rectal cavity continued to be absorbed. The next morning, Michael was dead.
The 58-year-old did a pretty good job of embalming himself. According to toxicology reports, his blood alcohol level was 0.47%. In order to qualify for a Darwin Award, a person must remove himself from the gene pool via an "astounding misapplication of judgment." Three litres of sherry up the butt can only be described as astounding. Unsurprisingly, his neighbors said they were surprised to learn of the incident.

 

[heatmeiser]

Last years winners.


Eighth Place

In Detroit, a 41-year-old man got stuck and drowned in two feet of water after squeezing head first through an 18-inch-wide sewer grate to retrieve his car keys.


Seventh Place

A 49-year-old San Francisco stockbroker, who "totally zoned when he ran", accidentally jogged off a 100-foot high cliff on his daily run.


Sixth Place

While at the beach, Daniel Jones, 21, dug an 8 foot hole for protection from the wind and had been sitting in a beach chair at the bottom, when it collapsed, burying him beneath 5 feet of sand. People on the beach used their hands and shovels trying to get him out but could not reach him. It took rescue workers using heavy equipment almost an hour to free him. Jones was pronounced dead at a hospital.


Fifth Place

Santiago Alvarado, 24, was killed as he fell through the ceiling of a bicycle shop he was burglarizing. Death was caused when the long flashlight he had placed in his mouth to keep his hands free rammed into the base of his skull as he hit the floor.


Fourth Place

Sylvester Briddell, Jr., 26, was killed as he won a bet with friends who said he would not put a revolver loaded with four bullets into his mouth and pull the trigger.

​

Third Place

After stepping around a marked police patrol car parked at the front door, a man walked into H&J Leather & Firearms intent on robbing the store. The shop was full of customers and a uniformed officer was standing at the counter. Upon seeing the officer, the would-be robber announced a hold-up and fired a few wild shots from a target pistol.

The officer and a clerk promptly returned fire, and several customers also drew their guns and fired. The robber was pronounced dead at the scene by Paramedics. Crime scene investigators located 47 expended cartridge cases in the shop. The subsequent autopsy revealed 23 gunshot wounds. Ballistics identified rounds from 7 different weapons. No one else was hurt.

HONORABLE MENTION

Paul Stiller, 47, and his wife Bonnie were bored just driving around at 2 A.M. so they lit a quarter stick of dynamite to toss out the window to see what would happen. Apparently they failed to notice that the window was closed.


RUNNER UP

Kerry Bingham had been drinking with several friends when one of them said they knew a person who had bungee-jumped from a local bridge in the middle of traffic. The conversation grew more excited, and at least 10 men trooped along the walkway of the bridge at 4:30 AM. Upon arrival at the midpoint of the bridge, they discovered that no one had brought a bungee rope. Bingham, who had continued drinking, volunteered and pointed out that a coil of lineman's cable lay nearby. They secured one end around Bingham's leg and then tied the other to the bridge. His fall lasted 40 feet before the cable tightened and tore his foot off at the ankle. He miraculously survived his fall into the icy water and was rescued by two nearby fishermen. Bingham's foot was never located.


AND THE WINNER IS....

Zookeeper Friedrich Riesfeldt ( Paderborn , Germany ) fed his constipated elephant 22 doses of animal laxative and more than a bushel of berries, figs and prunes before the plugged-up pachyderm finally got relief. Investigators say ill-fated Friedrich, 46, was attempting to give the ailing elephant an olive oil enema when the relieved beast unloaded.

The sheer force of the elephant's unexpected defecation knocked Mr Riesfeldt to the ground where he struck his head on a rock as the elephant continued to evacuate 200 pounds of dung on top of him. It seems to be just one of those freak accidents that proves... 'Sh*t happens'

IT ALWAYS SEEMS IMPORTANT TO THANK THESE PEOPLE
FOR REMOVING THEMSELVES FROM THE GENE POOL.​

 

[peteblue]

Hahahahahahahahahaha.......