SQUAD PROFILE: Russia

[bluejock]

Manager - Dick Advocaat

Squad

Goalkeepers - Igor Akinfeev (PFC CSKA Moskva), Vyacheslav Malafeev (FC Zenit St Petersburg), Anton Shunin (FC Dinamo Moskva)

Defenders - Aleksandr Anyukov (FC Zenit St Petersburg), Aleksei Berezutski (PFC CSKA Moskva), Sergei Ignashevich (PFC CSKA Moskva), Vladimir Granat (FC Dinamo Moskva), Yuri Zhirkov (FC Anzhi Makhachkala), Dmitri Kombarov (FC Spartak Moskva), Roman Sharonov (FC Rubin Kazan), Kirill Nababkin (PFC CSKA Moskva)

Midfielders - Igor Denisov (FC Zenit St Petersburg), Konstantin Zyryanov (FC Zenit St Petersburg), Roman Shirokov (FC Zenit St Petersburg), Denis Glushakov (FC Lokomotiv Moskva), Igor Semshov (FC Dinamo Moskva), Marat Izmailov (Sporting Clube de Portugal), Alan Dzagoev (PFC CSKA Moskva)

Forwards - Andrey Arshavin (FC Zenit St Petersburg), Aleksandr Kerzhakov (FC Zenit St Petersburg), Aleksandr Kokorin (FC Dinamo Moskva), Roman Pavlyuchenko (FC Lokomotiv Moskva), Pavel Pogrebnyak (Fulham FC)

"And now we've come to the end of our rainbow, there's something I must say out loud..... "

I'll take it from here Lionel. Mother Russia, home of Stalin, Lenin, vodka, Kalashnikovs, The Gulag, and some of the acest people you could ever hope to meet in a days march, make up the last of our 16 European footballing gladiators. Dick Advocaat (there's alcoholism everywhere you look with these lot) leads his comrades into the Euros qualified top of Group B, consigning Ireland to the play offs. A 6-0 home win against the Scotland of the Pyrenees, Andorra, meant that Ireland's victory over Armenia was in vain. Well not really as they still qualified. Oh bugger of you pedantic bunch. Alan Dzagoev and oft rumoured Everton target Roman Pavlyuchenko both netted 4 times in the process.

The big talking point on Russia for us blues is the absence of elfin faced, wand of a left footed, still defended by some as he "never played in his real position, Koff Moyes" Diniyar Bilyaletdinov. Shame really as he always seemed a nice lad, if a little lightweight and gash for the Premier League and I love his wee smiley face. Former North London rivals Pavlyuchenko and Andrey Arshavin (should've signed him when we had the chance, he'd have been ace for us) offer the main threat going forward while Fulham's uber-grock Pavel Pogrebnyak will undoubtedly be thrown on late on in games when Big Dick resorts to длинный футбольный мÑч.

Jock's player to watch is the previously mentioned Alan Dzagoev of CSKA Moskva (that's Moscow in case you were wondering) is a cult hero of mine for scoring a hat trick in the Anfield derby beofre being sent off for punching Daniel Agger in the head, on a well known football management simulator. He's apparently an attacking midfielder with an eye for goal and a fist for badly tattooed kopites but having never seen him play in the flesh I couldn't comment. I'm positively weeing myself with excitement though.

Prediction

Group stage. I don't see Russia beating either Czech Republic or hosts Poland. A win over Greece will be scant consolation and will see Boris and Ivan reaching for the Starka.

Spasiba for reading, and I hope you all enjoyed listening to me waffle sh*t about all the teams involved.

 

[ijjysmith]

Nik is still fuming that Bily isnt there

 

[The Equaliser]

And you're done! Well-in for getting through all these.

Can see Russia doing OK myself as they have plenty of attacking threat. They play a good possession game which may be as a result of the Hiddink days.

PS Don't think we ever had the money for Arshavin, it was just wishful thinking on Moyes' part.

 

[The T-Dex]

Definitely qualifying from the groups. Definitely. Kerzakhov is a very good player.

 

[Julio Ananas]

JULIO THINK RUSSIA GET FINAL.

 

[JamesBT]

Nice one Jock, especially like the Ivan Drago touch.


CMON RUSSIA, WE MUST BREAK YOU

 

[chicoazul]

Great work spitting sixteen of these out. I was moaning about Sunderland three times in two weeks ffs so hats to you.

 

[ijjysmith]

IF HE DIES, HE DIES

 

[Neiler]

Remember when we used to love Arshavien and wanted to sign the whole Russian team.

 

[The T-Dex]

Vladamir Bystrov was mentioned plenty if I remember.

 

[Neiler]

Vladamir Bystrov was mentioned plenty if I remember.

I remember formations with Zhirkov at Left back because we were going to move Lescott in to the centre and Baies "clearly" wasnt good enough.

 

[efcforeva]

They have probably got the easiest group so can definitely see them making to the QF but not much after there.

 

[Jamo Martinez]

I think they¡'ll qualify for next round. Don't know who they're up against in possible QF

 

[Allezfan]

I think they¡'ll qualify for next round. Don't know who they're up against in possible QF

Who ever gets out of the group, meets someone from the Germany-Holland-Portugal-Denmark group of death and then loses.

 

[Julio Ananas]

Who ever gets out of the group, meets someone from the Germany-Holland-Portugal-Denmark group of death and then loses.

JULIO NOT THINK IT THAT SIMPLE.nEXPECT SHOCK AT THIS STAGE. GROUP OF DEATH TEAM DEADED BY RUSSIA OR GREECE.