#38 - Steve Miller
Part 38 of GOT's long running weekly epidode of TWUNT profiles.
This week we take a look at Steve "shithead" Miller. Some people may call him the space-cowboy, but most of us will know him as "That tosser off Sky One". You may not have heard of him, he's Sky One's answer to Gillian McKeith. Only with more shouting and poo eating. Possibly.
Physically he looks like Jeremy Kyle had a sex change, then hated it and changed back a few weeks later. A bloated face with the shiny skin of a middle aged divorcee after too much botox and desperate blowjobs.
He wears glasses to appear intellectual but only succeeds in making himself look like a stern headmistress camping it up in the school canteen. You can imagine flicking chewed up bits of paper at him as he gives a presentation on his ant colony at school.
Then there is the voice. That voice. It sounds like an angry wasp trapped inside an old woman's head as she does the washing up. All whiny and insistent, shouting about 'shock tactics' and 'team work'. Imagine Dale Winton mixed with Biggins after living in Derby for 30 years. His tongue darts out of his mouth as he speaks, as though he wants to suck the words back in, get them out later - when we've gone home - and rub them all over his naked body.
"I'm the no nonsense, straight-talking answer to our country's obesity problems!"
No, you're not. You're a massive tit that was bullied at school and I want to sit and watch you drown. While I eat a Mars bar.
If you don't hate him yet, watch the first 30 seconds of this video. Come join me in vitriolic joy.
http://sky1.sky.com/fat-families-steve-miller
hate you
Next time - Piers Morgan (possibly)
