icburns
pyar sauced
Pineapple? Delicious. Pizza? Totally boss. Pineapple on pizza? Well...
Let's begin with a spot of scripture.
ו וַתֵּרֶא הָאִשָּׁה כִּי טוֹב הָעֵץ לְמַאֲכָל וְכִי תַאֲוָה-הוּא לָעֵינַיִם, וְנֶחְמָד הָעֵץ לְהַשְׂכִּיל, וַתִּקַּח מִפִּרְיוֹ, וַתֹּאכַל; וַתִּתֵּן גַּם-לְאִישָׁהּ עִמָּהּ, וַיֹּאכַל.
Dead sea scrolls, like.
If one looks into the alternate translations of the Hebrew text, the tree in the midst of the garden is more a shrub with long, finger-like leaves that, as the metaphor speaks, pulled Eve as the serpent did, with his wiles, deceive her. Furthermore, the fruit is described as yellowed and 'forbidding' in appearance, but with a core soft and sweet with the nectar of temptation- a flower with scythe petals green. Again, this is but one way to look at the text. Much of this was disregarded as other passages challenged the Canon of the Bible.
The Holy Roman Empire, in early trade with Chinese merchants (c. 1000 as per damopedia), came upon the oriental cousin of modern pizza and adapted it to nearer the current definition. As silk road trading expanded in later centuries (c. 1200), Japanese fishing (and later merchant) vessels had established a line of contact with the Polynesian isles where they discovered an odd fruit sprouting throughout the paradisaical land. <<Strangely similar to Eden.
This fruit was brought to, among other places, Constantinople and the island of Sicily, where the Mediterranean climate could support the crop. The fruit, initially, was a symbol of wealth and affluence and was eaten primarily as a standalone dish for the highest and the best. However, as supply increased in the early Fourteenth century, it soon enough adourned pizza, the food of the masses.
The above image (damopedia) shows a progression of Black Death through Europe in the mid fourteenth century, eerily soon after the estimated rise of pineapple on pizza. Beginning in areas of now Southern Italy and West Turkey, the plague spread across Europe like the sweeping arm of divine retribution. Could it be that the celestial power was punishing man for his transgression? I know you're all clever and asking "If that were the case, why is pizza the key?"
Frankly, it it's not- well, not really, at least. The leading theory stands that, as bread represents the body of the Lord, eating such along with the descendants of the forbidden fruit would constitute such heinous blaspheme that the wrath of heavens would come down upon the transgressors with great vengeance and furious anger unprecedented since the old testament. The prime example of this is with the Black Death in Medieval Europe. Modern Pathology research supports that the disease is "thought to have started in China, [and] traveled along the Silk Road." (damopedia) Pineapple on pizza was evidently soon scourged from the land and with that, the pestilence lifted... for the time being.
Fast forward to a far more recent era: the 20th century. Once again, Lucifer's tricks see the pineapple placed upon a pizza. This time, he crafted his dubious doings in Ontario, Canada, far from the now wary eyes of Europe. Though begun in the mid 1960s, the 'Hawaiian' pizza doesn't catch on as well as the beast imagined. The American pizza industry, was already well developed at this point. Chicago style, Brooklyn style... everyone had a style of pizza, and no one was looking for anything new.
But Satan is as patient as he is manipulative, and it took until the mid eighties for the pineapple pizza to make its insidious journey through the media. Especially in films targeting the suggestible youth. The Dark One's plan has since accelerated moving from the movie industry to the music industry, where he planted Justin Bieber in none other than... ONTARIO CANADA. Bieber has since proclaimed his undying support of pineapple on pizza in a masked attempt to lead man astray. In a study released in late 2006, research Australia accounted for the most pineapple per pizza with a 15% slice rate. The island-continent has since been ravaged by drought and flood. Perhaps just the latest attempt by powers that be to quell the resurgence of forbidden fruit on the body of the lord, perhaps just an effect of global climate change as caused by greenhouse gas emission.
Aye, there's the rub, for what if the entire process of climate change is no more than the divine force scouring the earth with a fiery hand in order to once again thwart the devil's delicious deception?
Let's begin with a spot of scripture.
ו וַתֵּרֶא הָאִשָּׁה כִּי טוֹב הָעֵץ לְמַאֲכָל וְכִי תַאֲוָה-הוּא לָעֵינַיִם, וְנֶחְמָד הָעֵץ לְהַשְׂכִּיל, וַתִּקַּח מִפִּרְיוֹ, וַתֹּאכַל; וַתִּתֵּן גַּם-לְאִישָׁהּ עִמָּהּ, וַיֹּאכַל.
Dead sea scrolls, like.
If one looks into the alternate translations of the Hebrew text, the tree in the midst of the garden is more a shrub with long, finger-like leaves that, as the metaphor speaks, pulled Eve as the serpent did, with his wiles, deceive her. Furthermore, the fruit is described as yellowed and 'forbidding' in appearance, but with a core soft and sweet with the nectar of temptation- a flower with scythe petals green. Again, this is but one way to look at the text. Much of this was disregarded as other passages challenged the Canon of the Bible.
The Holy Roman Empire, in early trade with Chinese merchants (c. 1000 as per damopedia), came upon the oriental cousin of modern pizza and adapted it to nearer the current definition. As silk road trading expanded in later centuries (c. 1200), Japanese fishing (and later merchant) vessels had established a line of contact with the Polynesian isles where they discovered an odd fruit sprouting throughout the paradisaical land. <<Strangely similar to Eden.
This fruit was brought to, among other places, Constantinople and the island of Sicily, where the Mediterranean climate could support the crop. The fruit, initially, was a symbol of wealth and affluence and was eaten primarily as a standalone dish for the highest and the best. However, as supply increased in the early Fourteenth century, it soon enough adourned pizza, the food of the masses.
The above image (damopedia) shows a progression of Black Death through Europe in the mid fourteenth century, eerily soon after the estimated rise of pineapple on pizza. Beginning in areas of now Southern Italy and West Turkey, the plague spread across Europe like the sweeping arm of divine retribution. Could it be that the celestial power was punishing man for his transgression? I know you're all clever and asking "If that were the case, why is pizza the key?"
Frankly, it it's not- well, not really, at least. The leading theory stands that, as bread represents the body of the Lord, eating such along with the descendants of the forbidden fruit would constitute such heinous blaspheme that the wrath of heavens would come down upon the transgressors with great vengeance and furious anger unprecedented since the old testament. The prime example of this is with the Black Death in Medieval Europe. Modern Pathology research supports that the disease is "thought to have started in China, [and] traveled along the Silk Road." (damopedia) Pineapple on pizza was evidently soon scourged from the land and with that, the pestilence lifted... for the time being.
Fast forward to a far more recent era: the 20th century. Once again, Lucifer's tricks see the pineapple placed upon a pizza. This time, he crafted his dubious doings in Ontario, Canada, far from the now wary eyes of Europe. Though begun in the mid 1960s, the 'Hawaiian' pizza doesn't catch on as well as the beast imagined. The American pizza industry, was already well developed at this point. Chicago style, Brooklyn style... everyone had a style of pizza, and no one was looking for anything new.
But Satan is as patient as he is manipulative, and it took until the mid eighties for the pineapple pizza to make its insidious journey through the media. Especially in films targeting the suggestible youth. The Dark One's plan has since accelerated moving from the movie industry to the music industry, where he planted Justin Bieber in none other than... ONTARIO CANADA. Bieber has since proclaimed his undying support of pineapple on pizza in a masked attempt to lead man astray. In a study released in late 2006, research Australia accounted for the most pineapple per pizza with a 15% slice rate. The island-continent has since been ravaged by drought and flood. Perhaps just the latest attempt by powers that be to quell the resurgence of forbidden fruit on the body of the lord, perhaps just an effect of global climate change as caused by greenhouse gas emission.
Aye, there's the rub, for what if the entire process of climate change is no more than the divine force scouring the earth with a fiery hand in order to once again thwart the devil's delicious deception?
