night at the chinese restaurant. turns awkward spiralling out of control.

[BlondeArtist - karl.thornhill@gmail.com]

Sitting at my favourite chinese buffet restaurant in Nottingham with the wife and the kid whose in my eyeline that i couldnt get away from all evening....michelle barrett. next to her lucy alexandra and next to her amber jayne with a fella.

So awkward as ive been a massive fan of michelle who has the looks with the skills. Wife saw i was staring and then went all whisper whisper on me...staring at that blonde are you??? just told her straight shes a porn star then dug a hole and said i watched her.

got home and wife looked her up and watched a video sitting next to me asking what i like about her. she then says she doesnt do it like that and conversation gets mega awkward. i find out that shes on her period and abit cranky and starts the whaling banjee mega sensitive following morning. slept in the other room last night before being confronted by anearly 6ft women staring down at me "if i wasnt blonde would you be with me" yes...she goes to the hairdressers and colours her hair brown.

whats going on??? shes usually cool about it all but shes seriously cranky.

 

[Azzurri]

Just scream 'Michelle!' next time you're banging her.

 

[toffee-fellaini]

 

[BlondeArtist - karl.thornhill@gmail.com]

its 01.42 in the morning and im right in the sh*t

 

[bluebottle]

its 01.42 in the morning and im right in the sh*t

Michelle's?

 

[maddison]

All I can remember from that is your misses is nearly six foot and comparable to a porn star

 

[paulbefc]

Angelwitch?

 

[Goat]

Angelwitch?

My first thought.

 

[WA Toffee]

I was at Amsterdam airport with the wife once and there were a couple of guys in pink suits that caught our eye. Then I noticed Ron Jeremy with them and mentioned it to the wife who he was. Cue several awkward questions about how I knew who he was etc.
What can you say - the guy is a legend for being small fat and ugly but with a huge dong.

 

[degsy]

its 01.42 in the morning and im right in the sh*t

Just keep your head down, this will run and run, but hopefully, next week, when she calms down you might get a semi sensible conversation about it.

but basically you're in deep sh*t

 

[Royal Blue Jersey]

Brilliant. We may soon be approaching 'kipper gold' levels.

(awaits 'kipper gold' being added to swear filter suggestion list)

 

[EFCNIK]

I'm in the **** too. Just got in from a night out. Text my girl that some other girl was tryna neck me but (in my words) I politely declined lololololololammas.

Ihave no idea why I wrote llamas at the end but it seemed appropriate.

Fml. I will pay for this later.

 

[micknick]

Wait. NIK you have a girl?

the world has turned upside down

 

[TheFinnFan]

Wait. NIK you have a girl?

the world has turned upside down

actually this makes senz. Nik has been kinda different lately, girl has put his priorities straight. (1. Foof 2. GOT)

 

[Hilga]

Sitting at my favourite chinese buffet restaurant in Nottingham with the wife and the kid whose in my eyeline that i couldnt get away from all evening....michelle barrett. next to her lucy alexandra and next to her amber jayne with a fella.

So awkward as ive been a massive fan of michelle who has the looks with the skills. Wife saw i was staring and then went all whisper whisper on me...staring at that blonde are you??? just told her straight shes a porn star then dug a hole and said i watched her.

got home and wife looked her up and watched a video sitting next to me asking what i like about her. she then says she doesnt do it like that and conversation gets mega awkward. i find out that shes on her period and abit cranky and starts the whaling banjee mega sensitive following morning. slept in the other room last night before being confronted by anearly 6ft women staring down at me "if i wasnt blonde would you be with me" yes...she goes to the hairdressers and colours her hair brown.

whats going on??? shes usually cool about it all but shes seriously cranky.

Absent a pic of your wife as well as all three porn stars I am unable to give an informed opinion.