It's not even that long.
My Football Diary
- Thread starter MickM86
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It's not even that long.
Could be a good one this weekend. My Dad is coming to Goodison, first time for about 14 years or something. He's 65 now with arthiritis so can't get there, plus he stopped going properly around 89. He's not going the match, he doesn't want to, he's coming to enjoy the retro vibe before going for a pint somewhere so hopefully a happy story this weekend.
carlos21
KING OF REP
enjoy your weekend.
Pat's Van
Player Valuation: £70m
We jump into a DELTA and the driver has a good laugh with us as he’s very right wing and he scoffs at my somewhat naive liberalist opinions. We have some great banter. I’m wearing my “Tina Turner” Halloween costume as a sort of trial run.
We arrive at Goodison. I’m now utterly convinced that this country is for too relaxed on immigration. I head into a nearby corner shop to remonstrate with the Bangladeshi owner but he just looks really confused about the whole platinum blonde wig and my tiger skin leggings so I end up just buying a packet of jolly ranchers.
Outside the ground, I take in the sights and sounds. I smell delicious fried onions and can hear the sausages hissing and fizzing on the burger van grill. I remember Zippy off Rainbow used to sing a song about ten sizzling sausages and I laugh about this for exactly 43 seconds. My bird smiles at me. It’s not too long before I realise she is in fact smiling at some juice-head behind me. I aim a kick at a pigeon and miss, my stiletto flies off my foot but I retrieve it.
Inside the ground later on the blues are playing well. I join in the Gwladys Street chants and it’s great. I decide to start my own. The first quiet moment and I jump up onto my seat and scream ….
“WHO AAAARE WE ???…WHO AAAARE WE ???”
I wait for the response. There is no response.
“EVERTON” I shout, “WE’RE EVERTON”.
Some bemused looks but that’s all. I sit back down.
Later on, I try again. Up I go, onto my seat and I hold my arms out wide and I shout
“WHO AAAAARE WE??? WHO AAAAAARE WE???”…..
“PIPE DOWN STREAKY” someone shouts.
“EVERTON, WE’RE EVERTON” I shout back half-heartedly.
The next time, I jump up onto my seat and do a little bit of a Tina Turner style Harlem Shuffle booty shake wiggle/stomp. A half full coke can hurtles through the air and cracks me on the bonce, knocking my wig off my head and myself off my seat. My stiletto gets caught between the seats and I fall sideways onto a man and his young son. The man punches me in the throat.
I’m lead to the exit by 2 stewards and a response team. “****ing weirdo” one says as they throw me through the door and I land on my ass in some horse **** in the street. Thankfully, my giant comedy butt has helped cushion the blow. I get up and dust myself off.
WHO AAAAAARE WE ??? EVERTON !!!
Who am I ??? I’m Mick
MickM86.
simply the best.
We arrive at Goodison. I’m now utterly convinced that this country is for too relaxed on immigration. I head into a nearby corner shop to remonstrate with the Bangladeshi owner but he just looks really confused about the whole platinum blonde wig and my tiger skin leggings so I end up just buying a packet of jolly ranchers.
Outside the ground, I take in the sights and sounds. I smell delicious fried onions and can hear the sausages hissing and fizzing on the burger van grill. I remember Zippy off Rainbow used to sing a song about ten sizzling sausages and I laugh about this for exactly 43 seconds. My bird smiles at me. It’s not too long before I realise she is in fact smiling at some juice-head behind me. I aim a kick at a pigeon and miss, my stiletto flies off my foot but I retrieve it.
Inside the ground later on the blues are playing well. I join in the Gwladys Street chants and it’s great. I decide to start my own. The first quiet moment and I jump up onto my seat and scream ….
“WHO AAAARE WE ???…WHO AAAARE WE ???”
I wait for the response. There is no response.
“EVERTON” I shout, “WE’RE EVERTON”.
Some bemused looks but that’s all. I sit back down.
Later on, I try again. Up I go, onto my seat and I hold my arms out wide and I shout
“WHO AAAAARE WE??? WHO AAAAAARE WE???”…..
“PIPE DOWN STREAKY” someone shouts.
“EVERTON, WE’RE EVERTON” I shout back half-heartedly.
The next time, I jump up onto my seat and do a little bit of a Tina Turner style Harlem Shuffle booty shake wiggle/stomp. A half full coke can hurtles through the air and cracks me on the bonce, knocking my wig off my head and myself off my seat. My stiletto gets caught between the seats and I fall sideways onto a man and his young son. The man punches me in the throat.
I’m lead to the exit by 2 stewards and a response team. “****ing weirdo” one says as they throw me through the door and I land on my ass in some horse **** in the street. Thankfully, my giant comedy butt has helped cushion the blow. I get up and dust myself off.
WHO AAAAAARE WE ??? EVERTON !!!
Who am I ??? I’m Mick
MickM86.
simply the best.
I might try that chant tomorrow Pat, no doubt there will be silence and the occasional stares. I would have to be rotten out of my mind to do it.
There will come a story this season when I plan to get pissed out my head, it will probably be an away and come to think about it, it will probably be Hull on the last day of the season. I plan to get drunk.
There will come a story this season when I plan to get pissed out my head, it will probably be an away and come to think about it, it will probably be Hull on the last day of the season. I plan to get drunk.
I want to know how I can improve this for you all. Do you want me to talk about the football more in detail? I know I don't really mention it as I talk about that in the match thread but if you's want football talk I will provide it.
I'm hopin to go out for a meal with my bird tomorrow night as well so could add to the day a bit.
I'm hopin to go out for a meal with my bird tomorrow night as well so could add to the day a bit.
Pat's Van
Player Valuation: £70m
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