Match Report - Stoke 0 - 0 Everton

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Jamo Martinez

Player Valuation: £70m
Wtf. I had soup for tea. It was lovely. My wife does have her faults but cuisine isn't one of them. I'm drinking beer now. But my wife didn't make it.

Last time we finished 8th England were eliminated from the World Cup without losing a game
 

Wtf. I had soup for tea. It was lovely. My wife does have her faults but cuisine isn't one of them. I'm drinking beer now. But my wife didn't make it.

Last time we finished 8th England were eliminated from the World Cup without losing a game

Yet more cutting edge inside from our roving reporter in Spain.
 

Girlfriends/wives that like football are like people you meet on holiday. Fun at first but then they really start to get on your tits hanging around you all the time when you're just trying to watch the match.

Holiday friends really is a roulette:

1 - Lack of noticeable mental health issues/nervous ticks? CHECK.
2 - Attractive wife you can blimp with and flirt on the sly? CHECK.
3 - Potentially swingers? CHECK.
 
Holiday friends really is a roulette:

1 - Lack of noticeable mental health issues/nervous ticks? CHECK.
2 - Attractive wife you can blimp with and flirt on the sly? CHECK.
3 - Potentially swingers? CHECK.

4 - Husband that disappears for nights out on his own ? CHECK
5 - Own Mrs that goes to bed when the kids do ? CHECK
6 - What the hell, nobody will find out ? CHECK
7 - Exchange of addresses at the end ? oh-ohhhhh !!
 
Yeah, it's probably a good thing she doesn't like footie. I'd have a terrible diet. And being a woman she'd be bound to like a team I hate. Not everyone can find a Hayee or Blue Lass. Speaking of which, How is Blue Lass?
 
Howard 7- Very little to do.
Jagielka 5- Caught out time after time. Jags definitely isn't a fullback.
Yobo 6- Not overly troubled by Fuller and Sidibe.
Distin 6- Run of the mill day at the office.
Baines 7- Looked to get forward well. Unlucky with his right-footed strike.
Neville 5- Didn't get into the game at all.
Osman 5- Ineffective.
Cahill 7- Put in another good shift.
Arteta 6- Not his usual self at all. Very sluggish.
Anichebe 8- Our best player by a mile. Looked hungry for goals.
Saha 5- Another subdued performance.

Subs
Yakubu 6- Worked hard again.
Rodwell 6- Tried to make things happen.
 

Howard 7- Very little to do.
Jagielka 5- Caught out time after time. Jags definitely isn't a fullback.
Yobo 6- Not overly troubled by Fuller and Sidibe.
Distin 6- Run of the mill day at the office.
Baines 7- Looked to get forward well. Unlucky with his right-footed strike.
Neville 5- Didn't get into the game at all.
Osman 5- Ineffective.
Cahill 7- Put in another good shift.
Arteta 6- Not his usual self at all. Very sluggish.
Anichebe 8- Our best player by a mile. Looked hungry for goals.
Saha 5- Another subdued performance.

Subs
Yakubu 6- Worked hard again.
Rodwell 6- Tried to make things happen.

See! I knew it wasn't just me.
 
Howard 7- Very little to do.
Jagielka 5- Caught out time after time. Jags definitely isn't a fullback.
Yobo 6- Not overly troubled by Fuller and Sidibe.
Distin 6- Run of the mill day at the office.
Baines 7- Looked to get forward well. Unlucky with his right-footed strike.
Neville 5- Didn't get into the game at all.
Osman 5- Ineffective.
Cahill 7- Put in another good shift.
Arteta 6- Not his usual self at all. Very sluggish.
Anichebe 8- Our best player by a mile. Looked hungry for goals.
Saha 5- Another subdued performance.

Subs
Yakubu 6- Worked hard again.
Rodwell 6- Tried to make things happen.
But can his wife cook?
 
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