Is it my self esteem?

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Her ex left in 2013 and had a kid with someone else, they have since split up.

For me, this is all the more reason they are not likely involved. The fact that he (the ex) has gained a new start with someone else (even if it has now ended), suggests to me that he is likely over his previous-previous ex. I could be wrong, but it sounds like he's got a lot on his plate with two prior ex's and a child with each. But again, you really have no choice but to believe he when she says nothing is going on: either she's lying or telling the truth, and once you go down the route of doubting her statements, you run the risk of seriously undermining your relationship with her, if she is in fact telling the truth.
 
wait by the back door and pounce when she comes in
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