I lost my virginity to an alien holographic at the age of FIVE

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A Labour politician has spoken out about losing his virginity at the age of five to an alien holographic.

Simon Parkes, a councillor in Whitby, North Yorkshire, says he has been visited and taken by extra-terrestrials ever since being in his mother's womb, and has no fear of them.

The 53-year-old added that anyone who felt his beliefs made him an unsuitable representative for Stakesby should not worry, as he is never taken by the aliens during meetings since they do not like large gatherings of people.

he then added that he has sex with an alien about four times a year.
 

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Councillor Parkes, who spends hours drawing his extra-terrestrial experiences as it helps him to comes to terms with them, said: 'The only thing I can remember after that is it saying to me you will never be hurt, your will never be harmed.
 


[video=youtube;HiPC7v50EmA]https://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_detailpage&v=HiPC7v50EmA[/video]

Jesus H Christ...
 
-Mo- said:
A Labour politician has spoken out about losing his virginity at the age of five to an alien holographic.

Simon Parkes, a councillor in Whitby, North Yorkshire, says he has been visited and taken by extra-terrestrials ever since being in his mother's womb, and has no fear of them.

The 53-year-old added that anyone who felt his beliefs made him an unsuitable representative for Stakesby should not worry, as he is never taken by the aliens during meetings since they do not like large gatherings of people.

he then added that he has sex with an alien about four times a year.
Click to expand...
The bit in bold makes sense. The rest is the ramblings of a mad man.
 

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