Grounds for divorce???

[faddy the blue]

Write a note to your wife, "honey.....TAAAAAAAAAA"

Jump out of the bathroom window and straight to your mate's house and watch how we kick their butt.

 

[Sharpys top lip]

Without doubt Mr Jock.

Erm, your one to talk...


Didn't you swerve the match to go out with your missus. yes I'm sure i remember right!!







also....



Jock.....


Honestly, you don't want to know what I'd do.........

 

[Can't buy class]

5 Easy steps to full match viewing: -

You need to start this about 2 hours before kick off to ensure a child free house and plenty of time for early beers....

Stage 1
Get yourself some blue and white face paint kits (if not already in a cupboard somewhere)
Give each child a pack of face paints
Get them to 'decorate' each other (you will find surounding areas will also get covered so I advise kitchen or playroom)
Once all the children are suitable 'covered' move to stage 2

Stage 2
Get a large bowl and fill with flour ( any type will do)
Turn the bowl upside down to make a large sandcastle with flour
Place sweets on the top and get the children to pick them off with teeth
The flour should stick to the face paint and lovely party dresses quite nicely

By now your wife should be getting very stressed and is probably already talking about taking them outside or to the park/local wacky warehouse, you may be able to stop with your child entertainment skills, if she needs further 'help' then move to stage 3

Stage 3
Time may well be running out at this point so desperate times and all that, tell one of the 'party' that you believe the charachters from 'In the Night Garden' as down the local park, this should cause a frenzy of activity and ensure an empty house very quickly.

Stage 4
Get yourself a well deserved chilled one and sit back

Stage 5
Watch our beloved blues smash the RS all over the park

 

[peteblue]

Just tell the kids it's a football party and they all have to shout for the blues or they get no jelly....and give the missus a yellow card with a warning about her future behaviour.......

 

[Jamo Martinez]

Sick bastards the lot of you. Divorce, MURDER ??? I can't believe this !!!



















...now if you can make it look like a suicide....

Pmsl. Superb. Really thought you were serious at first

 

[bluejock]

Party was fantastic. I sat in the corner with a beer and bbc sport live text on the mobile, generally ignoring the screaming urchins all around. Half time comes, party ends, not a happy jock with the score. Back home to kick the cat methinks.

Wait, whats this? a revival? fantastic! the cat's had a reprieve, i love everyo...... **** SAKE HOWARD!!!!!!

End of the day? relatively happy jock, we should've pushed on at 2-1 and killed it off but it wasn't to be.

Thanks for all the advice, whether it involved murder or dirty protests, every suggestion was considered.

 

[Reidy's Bottle Of Grecian]

well you played along with what she wanted, now we just need the sordid details of what you will get in return.

 

[Reidy's Bottle Of Grecian]

with pics to follow.

or just pics of what you aren't getting, out of pure spite.

 

[bluejock]

well you played along with what she wanted, now we just need the sordid details of what you will get in return.

chuff all. she's in a huff about the "kiddy ignoring"

apparently one of them might have fell and died or something?

****ing lethal those bouncy castles!

 

[Reidy's Bottle Of Grecian]

chuff all. she's in a huff about the "kiddy ignoring"

apparently one of them might have fell and died or something?

****ing lethal those bouncy castles!

in which case the 'out of spite' option seems best, please head straight to your documents to the folder entitled 'work stuff.'

 

[Reidy's Bottle Of Grecian]

chuff all. she's in a huff about the "kiddy ignoring"

apparently one of them might have fell and died or something?

****ing lethal those bouncy castles!

in which case the 'out of spite' option seems best, please head straight to your documents to the folder entitled 'work stuff.'

 

[bluejock]

work stuff, for mr jock's eyes only, keep out, stay away, skull n crossbones you mean?

you wouldn't want to see them anyway lad, you'd have nightmares about a hippocrocopig from the depths

she's alright really, i'm just stella ranting.

need my bed.

 

[Reidy's Bottle Of Grecian]

work stuff, for mr jock's eyes only, keep out, stay away, skull n crossbones you mean?

you wouldn't want to see them anyway lad, you'd have nightmares about a hippocrocopig from the depths

she's alright really, i'm just stella ranting.

need my bed.

she'll well have pulled the quilt back on your side to make it cold, she'll have it proper tucked so that you can't get near her for tog.

you should just get revenge while you can, cos after you've logged off and your tryin' to get warm but just gettin' elbows you'll wish you'd thrown her into the den.

 

[bluejock]

i can hear the sofa calling my name. thats ok though, i'll sit up and watch the goals again.

ours obviously, the other two don't count in my mind.

ah to have been in the bear pit with them lovely blue boys today when the clown's net rippled

 

[Matt Damon]

Party was fantastic. I sat in the corner with a beer and bbc sport live text on the mobile, generally ignoring the screaming urchins all around. Half time comes, party ends, not a happy jock with the score. Back home to kick the cat methinks.

Wait, whats this? a revival? fantastic! the cat's had a reprieve, i love everyo...... **** SAKE HOWARD!!!!!!

End of the day? relatively happy jock, we should've pushed on at 2-1 and killed it off but it wasn't to be.

Thanks for all the advice, whether it involved murder or dirty protests, every suggestion was considered.

Tell her the papers are in the post.