Festive Jokes

[Gazdalf]

This Year's First Christmas Joke

Three men died on Christmas Eve and were met by Saint Peter at the
pearly gates.

"In honor of this holy season" Saint Peter said,"You must each possess
something that symbolizes Christmas to get into heaven."

The first man fumbled through his pockets and pulled out a lighter. He
flicked it on. "It represents a candle", he said.

"You may pass through the pearly gates" Saint Peter said.

The second man reached into his pocket and pulled out a set of keys.
He shook them and said, "They're bells."

Saint Peter said "You may pass through the pearly gates".

The third man started searching desperately through his pockets and
finally pulled out a pair of women's panties.

St. Peter looked at the man with a raised eyebrow and asked, "And just
what do those symbolize?"

The man replied, "These are Carols."

And So The Christmas Season Begins......

 

[heatmeiser]

Not strictly festive but something that many of us will be doing lots of during this joyous season.

2 piles of sick are walking down the street, as they pass a back alley one of them starts to cry.

"What's the matter mate?" asks the other.

"Sorry, it's just that I was brought up down there."


Amen.