Everton to install vital 'analytical athlete management system' at Finch Farm

[Groucho]

New Commercial Team, init.

http://fcbusiness.co.uk/news/articl...boost+commercial+team+with+three+appointments

Literally the first thing they did coming into their jobs.

"We need to improve Everton's Commercial Revenue. How do we do that - market the club better? Scrap the Kitbag deal and bring everything in-house? Spend some money on arranging partnerships with football commercial experts?

"Nah, let's just open a THIRD club shop, at Goodison where 95% of the footfall only occurs on a matchday, and a shop that's literally 1 minute walk from the other shop around the corner!"

Also, the exact same place used to be a Souvenir Shop years ago, on that corner, and they closed it in the early 1990s because IT WASN'T MAKING ANY MONEY.

Let's get back to topic rather than acting soft.

I did find this a little bizarre.

To open only on match days too. With the club shop literally around the corner, what's the point?

 

[McBain]

Looks fairly Boss.

 

[SpurtingLesbian]

At Last! a State of the Art Facility to train our Athletes how to push our State of the Art Lawnmowers

 

[trebilcock66]

Actually it's a vital piece of equipment when used properly, they use complex alga rhythms to produce astonishing results.

They monitor a player during the 90 minutes of a match measuring things like the angle of slumped shoulders, the speed a player moves to celebrate a goal, the length they clap at the final whistle, and kissing or dissing of the badge, the amount of time that's spent with hands on hips, berating of teams mates (marks for aggression and duration), swapping of shirts and funny looks.

Once all data is collated it converts it into body language and it tells the manager if the player is committed to Everton or not.

Pointing........you forgot pointing. According to this software Phil Neville was the most complete footballer in the premiership

 

[The Cowboy]

Kitman <a-ha-ahh>
Fighter of the knackman <a-ha-ahh>

 

[Fearthainn]

Let's get back to topic rather than acting soft.

I did find this a little bizarre.

To open only on match days too. With the club shop literally around the corner, what's the point?

It will be a massive hit with all the fat people and babies who can't be arsed to walk for 2 minutes.

Unfortunately there probably won't be any baby or XXL kits available.

 

[Yorkie]

Can imagine it now, we're towards the end of the season, one win away from that coveted 4th place trophy and BOOM.
The machines become self aware, turn violent and wipe out finch farm in a horrific and bloody uprising.
Be just our luck that.

 

[Dithering Dougie]

Pointing........you forgot pointing. According to this software Phil Neville was the most complete footballer in the premiership

Having consulted with Kitman Lab I know that pointing and funny face pulling was the down fall of their 2011-12 software "albatross" in the end it was very streaky and over exsposed.

 

[McBain]

At least it's an improvement on the current facilities.

 

[Kiwi]

Have heard this has caused some fractured relationships around the training ground

 

[degsy]

"Everton’s continued use of the Kitman Labs system is a strong endorsement and we’re honored to be working with an organisation focused on the evolution of performance.“

So this software would appear to be the root cause of all the "soft tissue" injuries then - get rid I say

continued use eh, does this mean we've been using an earlier version and in this case to quote "........the computer says yes"

'Right Bryan baby you're good to go, the computer says you're OK to play on Saturday after 120mins on Wed.

 

[Nymzee]

FC Business reported that Premier League injuries cost an average of £400k per player, a total of approximately £190m last season.

No wonder we can't afford to sign players half the time; our injuries must wipe out our entire transfer budget.

 

[Deleted member 24970]

Have heard this has caused some fractured relationships around the training ground

You know what they say, if something isn't broke then you don't need to fix it.

 

[Brendan Janus]

Is it named Operation Goodison, I repeat is it named Operation Goodison !!