Embarrassing childhood memories

summerisle · February 4, 2020

Being forced to compete in a nobbly knees competition - and winning.

Disgruntledgoat · February 4, 2020

Pushing my brother into a pond outside some tedious SDP conference when my mother was a candidate for them.

I got told off by my ma and the star studded panel of Polly Toynbee and Shirley Williams.

the golden visionary · February 4, 2020

Got threw out the changing room in a towel in school, then lost the towel.

heatmeiser · February 4, 2020

I screamed so loudly in excitement when spotting Zoe Ball in The Body Shop at the Bullring shopping centre that police were called and the place was evacuated due to a "security incident".

Kurt. · February 4, 2020

I was sent to school in an Everton shirt

Connor mcloud · February 4, 2020

When I was about 13 we lived next door to a family with 3 daughters, all good looking and a bit older than me, one summers day they were all in the garden sunbathing and I was looking out the window (spying on them) and got all aroused. So I drew a picture (stick figures) of me in my state of arousal and the best looking sister bent over, satisfied my lust, and for some stupid reason threw the crumpled up piece of paper out the window. Unknown to me my mother was hanging out the washing and came storming up to my room with the drawing, called me everything under the sun and told my dad, who never said nothing but for days would just look at me and shake his head.

JimmyJeffers · February 4, 2020

Connor mcloud said:
When I was about 13 we lived next door to a family with 3 daughters, all good looking and a bit older than me, one summers day they were all in the garden sunbathing and I was looking out the window (spying on them) and got all aroused. So I drew a picture (stick figures) of me in my state of arousal and the best looking sister bent over, satisfied my lust, and for some stupid reason threw the crumpled up piece of paper out the window. Unknown to me my mother was hanging out the washing and came storming up to my room with the drawing, called me everything under the sun and told my dad, who never said nothing but for days would just look at me and shake his head.

Can you recreate that drawing please

chrismpw · February 4, 2020

Connor mcloud said:
When I was about 13 we lived next door to a family with 3 daughters, all good looking and a bit older than me, one summers day they were all in the garden sunbathing and I was looking out the window (spying on them) and got all aroused. So I drew a picture (stick figures) of me in my state of arousal and the best looking sister bent over, satisfied my lust, and for some stupid reason threw the crumpled up piece of paper out the window. Unknown to me my mother was hanging out the washing and came storming up to my room with the drawing, called me everything under the sun and told my dad, who never said nothing but for days would just look at me and shake his head.

I'd have screamed at a 13 year old for that too. By that age you should be beyond stick drawings and capable of realistic shading and rendering of skin tones.

KaiserEFC · February 4, 2020

Shat myself in a swimming pool.

chrismpw · February 4, 2020

I remember being around 4ish and losing my dad in Buille Hill park in Salford. I made my own way home across a busy main road and hid in the garden terrified of getting in trouble for misplacing dad.

My brother eventually spotted me peering out from behind the shed. My mum was horrified. My dad was late back presumably because he was going spare searching for me. Brother suggested going to look for him to tell him I was home and my mum said 'not on your life, let him worry!' lol

-Rob- · February 4, 2020

When I was about 8 I had a very sudden onset of diarrhea at school. I tried to get to the toilet but left a small trail down the hall.

8 year old kids can be very cruel with the nick names and I didn't get to live it down until I went to uni 10 years later.

Disgruntledgoat · February 4, 2020

JimmyJeffers said:
Can you recreate that drawing please

Paging @Bungle to the thread.

Bungle · February 4, 2020

I was in a children's home when I was 15 and one of the girls there called Tracy was a horrible fat sweaty greasy mess, her room stank of piss and nobody really had any time for her. At that age though I'd have fingered everything with anything that resembled a pulse and so decided she was worthy of my attention.

Unfortunately mid way through that act the staff came in to do room checks thinking that nobody was about and they found me getting crushed under Tracy with my fingers working their magic. I was mortified that they'd caught me with her and flung her off and pretended we'd just been messing about but they saw the ugly truth of what was going on.

cronullasharks · February 4, 2020

Bungle said:
I was in a children's home when I was 15 and one of the girls there called Tracy was a horrible fat sweaty greasy mess, her room stank of piss and nobody really had any time for her. At that age though I'd have fingered everything with anything that resembled a pulse and so decided she was worthy of my attention.

Unfortunately mid way through that act the staff came in to do room checks thinking that nobody was about and they found me getting crushed under Tracy with my fingers working their magic. I was mortified that they'd caught me with her and flung her off and pretended we'd just been messing about but they saw the ugly truth of what was going on.

Your wife now??