Dragons Den GoT style

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malfosse

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With the new series of Dragons Den just starting, I would like to bring you The GoT Dragons Den
I'm a Dragon looking to invest a considerable amount of my ill gotten gains, so please feel free to pitch any of your business ideas before me.
 

Id like you to invest in my business of making backpacks for squirrels.

These fellas don't have it easy. A northFace style backpack would help them out no end.
 
Hello Dragon,
I am looking for a number of investors to join me in securing loans to purchase a Football Club that is being sold at a knock down price, the plan is that once in control at the club we will sign a deal with our sister company to produce the clubs uniforms, which are one of the highest selling worldwide.
Against a backdrop of unrest we will then sell the club as the fans will be requesting, who wants to own a football club anyway ? investing millions in transfer fees and wages and you only stand a chance of getting your money back if you win everything ? not much point in attempting that with the Sheiks on the scene.
So the plan is, we then sell up and get our money back with a nice little divi (please don't send Aldo), and then sit back while the idiots buy our kits, which incidentally the club will be getting far less from due to the terms we have secured regarding c.l. etc, so we under invest to save on the kit deal.

yours.

Jaydubya Onri.
 
Hello Sir.

I have a simple business plan. You give me your credit card details, sort code and your mother's maiden name so I can wire you the moneys directly.

Thankyou Sir,

George Akutukatakwengo
 

Hello Dragons,

I'm looking for an investment of £100,000 for 1% of my buisness. As the worlds first U-bend gynaecology service I offer a 24hr call out service with a difference: I tell you how to fix your plumbing problem over the phone. This means you have a leak free day, and I can stay home.

Net profit over the last 12 months is impressive at £25,000 and has been heavily re-invested in ale. Average turnover is about 4:30AM.


Thanks,

Any question?
 
Im looking to start up a crystal meth empire, I've already eliminated most of the competition and my brother in law is in the DEA.
 
Hi Dragons

I'm looking for £100,000 for 10% of my business, to allow me to expand.

I produce bulletproof knives which are then used in gunfights by those who can't afford a gun. We currently have a long standing deal with a loyal customer and I'm looking for new "gunfighters" with mothballed wallets all the time.
 
Azzurri said:
Hello Sir.

I have a simple business plan. You give me your credit card details, sort code and your mother's maiden name so I can wire you the moneys directly.

Thankyou Sir,

George Akutukatakwengo
Click to expand...

Sorry Mr Akutukatakwengo, I have already invested into a similar scheme with a member of the Nigerian royal family, so I will have to decline your generous offer.
 

Hi Dragon,

I have the answer to an age old problem which troubles elderly men.. It has been brought to my attention that once a man ages his ball sack expands significantly.. This in turn causes the balls to dip slightly in the toilet whilst pooping. Therefore I present to you..
( The Ball Hammock )

The Ball Hammock is a lightweight device which attaches nicely to most modern toilets and allows for balls of various sizes and weight to rest gently whilst the person in question is pooping.

Eager to here back from you.

Sincerely,

Lord Nords.
 
Reidy's Bottle Of Grecian said:
Hello Dragon,
I am looking for a number of investors to join me in securing loans to purchase a Football Club that is being sold at a knock down price, the plan is that once in control at the club we will sign a deal with our sister company to produce the clubs uniforms, which are one of the highest selling worldwide.
Against a backdrop of unrest we will then sell the club as the fans will be requesting, who wants to own a football club anyway ? investing millions in transfer fees and wages and you only stand a chance of getting your money back if you win everything ? not much point in attempting that with the Sheiks on the scene.
So the plan is, we then sell up and get our money back with a nice little divi (please don't send Aldo), and then sit back while the idiots buy our kits, which incidentally the club will be getting far less from due to the terms we have secured regarding c.l. etc, so we under invest to save on the kit deal.

yours.

Jaydubya Onri.
Click to expand...
Do you think i'm mad, your idea sounds idiotic, nobody will fall for that.
 

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