Dog

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Just came back from the cinema and she'd crapped on the carpet.

I hereby invite Chico round to volley her wherever he likes.
 

Get a couple of cats off your street and make a Cog centipede.

Take it out for walks and just act casual with it.
 
Get a tape recorder of you and the missus leave it down with it at night, and if you want to be extra sure, put up life size photos of the pair of ye.
 

Let it sleep in the bedroom on its own bed or the floor. If the dog gets on the foot of your bed, move your feet and knees around and up under the dog. It soon gets the hint that the bed is not comfortable and jumps down. Worked for our newest pup. Now she doesn't get on the bed while we are in.
 
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