doctor doctor jokes
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bluebastardo
Player Valuation: £40m
bigbadjeff
Player Valuation: £15m
Patient...........Doctor doctor, I think I'm invisable
Dr........who said that
....................................................................................
Patient.............. Doctor doctor, I think I'm a dog
Dr..................... fair enough, lie on the couch
patient............... but I'm not allowed to get on the furniture.
......................................................................................
patient............. doctror doctor, I think I'm a pair of curtains.
Dr.....................pull yourself together man.
..............................................................................................
patient............ doctor,doctor, I only have 30 seconds to live.
doctor.............. wait there and I'll see you in a minute.
Dr........who said that
....................................................................................
Patient.............. Doctor doctor, I think I'm a dog
Dr..................... fair enough, lie on the couch
patient............... but I'm not allowed to get on the furniture.
......................................................................................
patient............. doctror doctor, I think I'm a pair of curtains.
Dr.....................pull yourself together man.
..............................................................................................
patient............ doctor,doctor, I only have 30 seconds to live.
doctor.............. wait there and I'll see you in a minute.
Patient: Doctor, doctor I get loads of colds and don't have much energy.
Doctor: You've got the AIDS lad.
Doctor: You've got the AIDS lad.
Reidy's Bottle Of Grecian
The Unobstructed View
"can i make an appointment for my 6 year old to see the doctor please?"
"best i can do is 3 weeks on monday"
now THAT is a fukcin' joke, but unfortunately true, and it was after coming out of his room with 5 days of medicine and the doctor having said that he wanted to see him when the medicine was finished to check that it had done it's job.
ENAYCHFUKCINESS !!
"best i can do is 3 weeks on monday"
now THAT is a fukcin' joke, but unfortunately true, and it was after coming out of his room with 5 days of medicine and the doctor having said that he wanted to see him when the medicine was finished to check that it had done it's job.
ENAYCHFUKCINESS !!
B
best little spaniard
Guest
Doctor Doctor, I have a strawberry growing on my head
Let me put some cream on that.
.........................................................................................
Doctor Doctor, everyone keeps ignoring me
Next patient please.
.........................................................................................
Let me put some cream on that.
.........................................................................................
Doctor Doctor, everyone keeps ignoring me
Next patient please.
.........................................................................................
Bluelass
Player Valuation: £8m
only know rude jokes -
a member of the Royal family is making a visit to a local hospital and is being shown around by the matron.
They go into a ward and the Princess notices a man with his hands under the bedclothes making quite a lot of movement.....
The Princess asks what he's doing and the Matron responds by saying that the man has had a vasectomy and is 'clearing his tubes'.
'Ah, very interesting' the Princess replies.
They then move on to another ward and the Princess observes a young scantily clad nurse bouncing up and down on an even more scantily clad male patient.
The Princess is agog and asks what on earth is going on over there.
The Matron calmly replies 'Nothing to worry about Ma'am, he's had a vasectomy too but he's in BUPA'.
a member of the Royal family is making a visit to a local hospital and is being shown around by the matron.
They go into a ward and the Princess notices a man with his hands under the bedclothes making quite a lot of movement.....
The Princess asks what he's doing and the Matron responds by saying that the man has had a vasectomy and is 'clearing his tubes'.
'Ah, very interesting' the Princess replies.
They then move on to another ward and the Princess observes a young scantily clad nurse bouncing up and down on an even more scantily clad male patient.
The Princess is agog and asks what on earth is going on over there.
The Matron calmly replies 'Nothing to worry about Ma'am, he's had a vasectomy too but he's in BUPA'.
Welton Toffee
Player Valuation: £40m
Doctor doctor I've got a steering wheel down my pants.
It's driving me nuts.
It's driving me nuts.
monty
Sack Sky and donate to GOT...donations are needed
A teacher gag if its any good
It is near the Christmas break of the school year. The students have turned in all their work and there is really nothing more to do. All the children are restless and the teacher decides to have an early dismissal.
Teacher: "Whoever answers the questions I ask first and correctly can leave early today."
Little Johnny says to himself "Good, I want to get outta here. I'm smart and will answer the question."
Teacher: "Who said 'Four Score and Seven Years Ago'?"
Before Johnny can open his mouth, Susie says, "Abraham Lincoln."
Teacher: "That's right Susie, you can go home."
Johnny is mad that Susie answered the question first.
Teacher: "Who said 'I Have a Dream'?"
Before Johnny can open his mouth, Mary says, "Martin Luther King."
Teacher: "That's right Mary, you can go."
Johnny is even madder than before.
Teacher: "Who said 'Ask not, what your country can do for you'?"
Before Johnny can open his mouth, Nancy says, "John F. Kennedy."
Teacher: "That's right Nancy, you may also leave."
Johnny is boiling mad that he has not been able to answer to any of the questions before the girls.
When the teacher turns her back to write on the blackboard, Johnny says, "I wish these bitches would keep their mouths shut!"
The teacher turns around: "NOW WHO SAID THAT?"
Johnny: "TIGER WOODS - CAN I GO NOW?"
It is near the Christmas break of the school year. The students have turned in all their work and there is really nothing more to do. All the children are restless and the teacher decides to have an early dismissal.
Teacher: "Whoever answers the questions I ask first and correctly can leave early today."
Little Johnny says to himself "Good, I want to get outta here. I'm smart and will answer the question."
Teacher: "Who said 'Four Score and Seven Years Ago'?"
Before Johnny can open his mouth, Susie says, "Abraham Lincoln."
Teacher: "That's right Susie, you can go home."
Johnny is mad that Susie answered the question first.
Teacher: "Who said 'I Have a Dream'?"
Before Johnny can open his mouth, Mary says, "Martin Luther King."
Teacher: "That's right Mary, you can go."
Johnny is even madder than before.
Teacher: "Who said 'Ask not, what your country can do for you'?"
Before Johnny can open his mouth, Nancy says, "John F. Kennedy."
Teacher: "That's right Nancy, you may also leave."
Johnny is boiling mad that he has not been able to answer to any of the questions before the girls.
When the teacher turns her back to write on the blackboard, Johnny says, "I wish these bitches would keep their mouths shut!"
The teacher turns around: "NOW WHO SAID THAT?"
Johnny: "TIGER WOODS - CAN I GO NOW?"
bluebastardo
Player Valuation: £40m
Doctor, I feel like a gnome.
Just be a little patient lad.
Just be a little patient lad.
ricardobee
Player Valuation: £35m
doctor doctor, every time I sneeze I get an erection.
"are you taking anything for it?"
yeah, pepper
"are you taking anything for it?"
yeah, pepper
ricardobee
Player Valuation: £35m
man walks into the docs with a sprout in his ear, a carrot up one nostril and a chip up the other
The doc says " I can see you've not been eating properly"
The doc says " I can see you've not been eating properly"
Whitebootman
Player Valuation: £35m
All the good doctor ones are done, as it's for kids will a knock knock joke do ?
Knock knock,
Who's there,
Banana,
Banana who?
Knock knock,
Who's there,
Banana,
Banana who?
Knock knock,
Who's there,
Banana,
Banana who?
Knock knock,
Who's there,
Banana,
Banana who?
Knock knock,
Who's there,
Orange,
Orange who?
Orange you glad the bananas gone.
My neice told me that when she was 8, I still laugh at the memory.
Knock knock,
Who's there,
Banana,
Banana who?
Knock knock,
Who's there,
Banana,
Banana who?
Knock knock,
Who's there,
Banana,
Banana who?
Knock knock,
Who's there,
Banana,
Banana who?
Knock knock,
Who's there,
Orange,
Orange who?
Orange you glad the bananas gone.
My neice told me that when she was 8, I still laugh at the memory.
Last edited:
bobbyrob
Player Valuation: £10m
Nice one Chico
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