Dementia

[rascal]

Anyone see 'beefy' talk about it on BBC 1 this evening? He basically stopped visiting his old man in the latter stages of it as he found it too difficult.

As someone who had a grandfather who suffered from it, and currently have a grandmother suffering from it I can certainly relate. I've not seen my Grandmother once in the past four months

Horrible disease.

 

[Dymak]

It certainly is horrible. I only see my grandmother a few times a year now, but that would have been the case anyway with me living away.

I don't know if it's a very good logic, but I always say that I would prefer to reach 70 and suffer the horror and indignity that comes with dementia for five or ten years, rather than die prematurely before the age of 50, or even 60. It's just my own personal logic, borne out of my own personal experiences.

 

[blue61]

Watching someone you love die from dementia is horrible. Having to watch my mother waste away, particularly in the last few days was painful to say the least. If I suffered from it, I'd want someone to finish me off to put me out of my misery.

 

[Prevenger17]

It certainly is horrible. I only see my grandmother a few times a year now, but that would have been the case anyway with me living away.

I don't know if it's a very good logic, but I always say that I would prefer to reach 70 and suffer the horror and indignity that comes with dementia for five or ten years, rather than die prematurely before the age of 50, or even 60. It's just my own personal logic, borne out of my own personal experiences.

Hmm, I would find that strange logic indeed. I worked in a dementia care home and, while I enjoyed it, I found it depressing in equal measure. Towards the end of my time there, they brought in this new thing of having scrapbooks in each resident's locker. Basically, the family would fill out information about how the resident used to be, what they liked to do, their job etc. and paste in loads of photos. Although I considered myself pretty good with the residents, it was the first time I ever gave genuine thought to the long, eventful lives they had prior to my encounters with them. I almost cried at some of the stories.

I would hate to think my body was being auto-piloted in that sense for the closing years of my life and it's a shame that there's no legislation in place to protect the right to die. The one thing that would make me want to opt out of life is the one thing that removes my cognitive ability to do so.

 

[LinekersLegs]

This horrible disease consumed my grandmother, stripping away piece by piece everything that made her who she was - a wonderful, happy but very private woman.

She would have loathed the wretched being it made her become, half wish I'd never visited her as it took a long time after her death before I could remember her how she would have wanted to be remembered.

Would have smothered her with a pillow if I could have got away with it.

 

[Dymak]

Hmm, I would find that strange logic indeed. I worked in a dementia care home and, while I enjoyed it, I found it depressing in equal measure. Towards the end of my time there, they brought in this new thing of having scrapbooks in each resident's locker. Basically, the family would fill out information about how the resident used to be, what they liked to do, their job etc. and paste in loads of photos. Although I considered myself pretty good with the residents, it was the first time I ever gave genuine thought to the long, eventful lives they had prior to my encounters with them. I almost cried at some of the stories.

I would hate to think my body was being auto-piloted in that sense for the closing years of my life and it's a shame that there's no legislation in place to protect the right to die. The one thing that would make me want to opt out of life is the one thing that removes my cognitive ability to do so.

Some good points there mate, especially bringing up 'the right to die'. I don't have a problem with a person choosing to die if their quality of life becomes as bad as it does with things like dementia. A doctor at my grandmother's care home have very recently asked my two auntie's whether they want my grandmother to be resuscitated should she become very ill. I don't think they have given him an answer yet, but given that she is 80 years old and her quality of life is so poor, then I will absolutely understand if they give him instructions not to resuscitate if such an awful event ever takes place. Obviously, ideally we would like her to pass away in her sleep. My grandmother's physical health is still relatively good, but her mind started deteriorating about 7 years ago, and it has been an awful journey for her and our family ever since.

My original point just comes from losing other family members prematurely. It may sound like a weird thing to say, but I would happily accept being 'dealt the dementia card' if it meant I got to experience the years 40 - 70, it would mean that you got to witness your children grow up, and some people don't get to experience that as a result of dying prematurely. I'm obviously comparing two seriously crap outcomes with each other, but I personally think one of them is considerably crapper than the other. I know which one I would choose if I was given the choice.

I guess the positive way of looking at what I am trying to say is that they have lived long lives, and that unfortunately more and more people are going to experience dementia as the majority of people are living longer, which is a good thing for the most part. Anyway, I'll shut up now, and please don't think I am trying to denounce the horror of dementia, I'm not.

 

[Prevenger17]

Some good points there mate, especially bringing up 'the right to die'. I don't have a problem with a person choosing to die if their quality of life becomes as bad as it does with things like dementia. A doctor at my grandmother's care home have very recently asked my two auntie's whether they want my grandmother to be resuscitated should she become very ill. I don't think they have given him an answer yet, but given that she is 80 years old and her quality of life is so poor, then I will absolutely understand if they give him instructions not to resuscitate if such an awful event ever takes place. Obviously, ideally we would like her to pass away in her sleep. My grandmother's physical health is still relatively good, but her mind started deteriorating about 7 years ago, and it has been an awful journey for her and our family ever since.

My original point just comes from losing other family members prematurely. It may sound like a weird thing to say, but I would happily accept being 'dealt the dementia card' if it meant I got to experience the years 40 - 70, it would mean that you got to witness your children grow up, and some people don't get to experience that as a result of dying prematurely. I'm obviously comparing two seriously crap outcomes with each other, but I personally think one of them is considerably crapper than the other. I know which one I would choose if I was given the choice.

I guess the positive way of looking at what I am trying to say is that they have lived long lives, and that unfortunately more and more people are going to experience dementia as the majority of people are living longer, which is a good thing for the most part. Anyway, I'll shut up now, and please don't think I am trying to denounce the horror of dementia, I'm not.

No worries chum, just a difference of opinion. To be honest, I don't think I paid enough attention to your comparison of an early, sudden death and a late decline. Obviously, a lot of people would choose to live longer. But imagine there was a much easier choice, that you could sign a living will that would allow you to be euthanized if your cognitive functions ever reached a certain level of deterioration. My experiences in the hospital and care home showed me that there are far worse outcomes than death, and it would be nice to be insured against them.

 

[witchdoc187]

Didn't visit my grandmother for the last few months. Didn't want to see her get winched into an armchair,god bless her.she wouldn't have recognized me anyway by that point. It's funny because we had a lot of fun when it was starting and she would say random comments and think she was in the 60s. Wasn't any other way to deal with it really but laugh at that stage. Of course the latter stages are very difficult to draw any positives from.

 

[bigbadjeff]

My father suffered from Alzheimer's, seeing an intelligent, articulate man fade away slowly in front of me has persuaded me in favour of euthanasia. I know that were I in that situation, won't go into graphic detail, I would have no quality of life and wouldn't want to exist like that.

 

[ically]

My Granddad died of this horrible illness,
His best friend had it before he did and my Granddad used to feed him on visits, he loathed to see him like that and for him to suffer the same illness was criminal,
He and my Nan were married for 62 years, they were the most loving couple I have ever seen, they absolutely idolised each other,
The heart-breaking thing about it all for those left behind is that he remembered none of it, especially my Nan.
The one moment though that will live with me forever though, is that he was on his deathbed, surrounded by all his family apart from my Nan who had gone home for a break,
He literally waited for her to turn up before he died, within a minute of her arriving he'd gone,
One of the most beautiful and sad things I've ever witnessed.
It might of stripped him of his memories but not ours. What a man.

 

[The Esk]

My Granddad died of this horrible illness,
His best friend had it before he did and my Granddad used to feed him on visits, he loathed to see him like that and for him to suffer the same illness was criminal,
He and my Nan were married for 62 years, they were the most loving couple I have ever seen, they absolutely idolised each other,
The heart-breaking thing about it all for those left behind is that he remembered none of it, especially my Nan.
The one moment though that will live with me forever though, is that he was on his deathbed, surrounded by all his family apart from my Nan who had gone home for a break,
He literally waited for her to turn up before he died, within a minute of her arriving he'd gone,
One of the most beautiful and sad things I've ever witnessed.
It might of stripped him of his memories but not ours. What a man.

Beautiful post mate.

Fortunately I have no experience of this terrible disease, thought and prayers with those and their families who suffer.

 

[SerenityNigh]

Watched Mrs Nigh and her family (small family, chiefly her mom and two aunts) care first for her grandmother through alzheimer's/dementia and then her grandfather. They did not shy away from the responsibility (and pain), and I have much respect and appreciation for the care and attention they provided these people. If I'm in the same circumstance I'd like to be able to say I did the same.

 

[Dutch Toffee]

My old man suffered from it. He passed away in December 2011. Absolutely terrible disease. Can remember him always saying when he was still healthy that Dementia was his biggest fear. Still, I visited him at least 3 times a week, although in the end I was nothing but a total stranger to him.

 

[Barrowjohn]

My dear old mum was showing signs of early onset of dementia when she died suddenly last year of heart related issues. In many ways it was a blessing because now 12 months on I imagine she would have deteriorated a lot further. I had started noticing twelve months earlier that she was losing interest in current affairs / news etc, was struggling with post / bills etc and had started displaying some irrational views. She was also forgetting what day of the week it was. I never picked her up on it and she would laugh a lot of it off. Concerned I went to see her GP but she would not go and see him /herself. She was adamant she was ok and would have none of it. Some days it was more noticeable, other days I'd kid myself all was ok. Sadly she passed on but was spared the indignity of the memory loss getting worse. Just grateful for the memories of happier times. She was the absolute rock of our family. Awful disease

 

[Woolly Blue]

He literally waited for her to turn up before he died, within a minute of her arriving he'd gone,
One of the most beautiful and sad things I've ever witnessed.
It might of stripped him of his memories but not ours. What a man.

Misty eyed here mate.

Rotten disease, tough for those suffering while they're aware that their brain is letting them down. Equally tough for those caring for loved ones who hardly remember them any more.