Best man speech

[johnnydawg68]

With any speech the important bits that people remember is the first and last couple of minutes. Be sincere but not over the top, ALWAYS compliment the bridesmaids and the bride. having one maybe two funny anecdotes to say about the groom. and for finishing be complimentary (lie if you have to) and finish with a toast to the future happiness of the couple.

Yeah pretty much this.

Open with welcoming everyone, and thanking them for being there. Admit you're nervous...then tell a joke like "I'm not sure why my brother chose me to give the speech as I'm not funny, handsome or interesting ...Oh I get it now...he just wants to make himself look better when he gives his speech!".

Follow with a few funny anecdotes from your childhood. Talk about how you used to fight when you were kids, or whatever. Maybe 2 stories - tops. Segue into a story about meeting his bride for the first time, how lucky he is, blah blah, blah, and then close the curtain with "so with that, I'd like to raise a toast to x and x...may they be a constant source of support, joy, and laughter to each other throughout the rest of the their lives" or something like that, and then you're off.

 

[johnnydawg68]

Yeah pretty much this.

Open with welcoming everyone, and thanking them for being there. Admit you're nervous...then tell a joke like "I'm not sure why my brother chose me to give the speech as I'm not funny, handsome or interesting ...Oh I get it now...he just wants to make himself look better when he gives his speech!".

Follow with a few funny anecdotes from your childhood. Talk about how you used to fight when you were kids, or whatever. Maybe 2 stories - tops. Segue into a story about meeting his bride for the first time, how lucky he is, blah blah, blah, and then close the curtain with "so with that, I'd like to raise a toast to x and x...may they be a constant source of support, joy, and laughter to each other throughout the rest of the their lives" or something like that, and then you're off.

No pressure or anything, but if you give a good speech, you'll be balls deep in one of the single bridesmaids fo sho later that night.

 

[RFUS]

No pressure or anything, but if you give a good speech, you'll be balls deep in one of the single bridesmaids fo sho later that night.

JDawg, 3:16.

 

[Alio]

Oh yeah, the bride is having no bridesmaids. Yes, you read that, 3 best men and no bridesmaids!!!

I'm bumming someone at this wedding and I don't care who!

 

[roydo]

Tell you what mate, you could do a lot worse than starting off with what you said in your OP, would set the scene nicely, lob in a few suggestions of , er ,"help" from on here, bridesmaids look lovely, delighted to have a(nother) sister in law, one quick anecdote, or swerve if you cant think of one, toast, (not with cheese on, obviously), bingo.

Good luck, and rehearse!

 

[Cena]

I've said this many times this week.

Listen to JDawg

 

[Simon Smith]

Been the best man only once before. My mate had picked one of his other friends a guy that he drinks with who not only let him down getting the stag do sorted but then dropped out altogether on the Thursday before the wedding.
Now there was no way I was going to let him down so offered my services as a last resort only for him to say yes on the Thursday night at 9PM giving me a day and a bit to write the speech and stand in for him at the church, with the service over 200 miles away near Monmouth.
All i can say to help is

1) make a few prompt cards to put in your pocket
2) try to write the whole thing out and have a good read of it, dont make it too long and not too short either
3) try to use some props if you can( I made out i had nicked his fav pulling trousers as he wouldnt need them any more!)
4) save the drinking till after the speech drink only squash or a small glass of water or wine before hand
5) dont forget to thank everybody who helped out from the bridesmaids to the people who do the food but most of all the brides mum

AND MOST OF ALL HAVE FUN! AND DONT GET TOO WORKED UP ABOUT IT

 

[Welton Toffee]

Yeah pretty much this.

Open with welcoming everyone, and thanking them for being there. Admit you're nervous...then tell a joke like "I'm not sure why my brother chose me to give the speech as I'm not funny, handsome or interesting ...Oh I get it now...he just wants to make himself look better when he gives his speech!".

Follow with a few funny anecdotes from your childhood. Talk about how you used to fight when you were kids, or whatever. Maybe 2 stories - tops. Segue into a story about meeting his bride for the first time, how lucky he is, blah blah, blah, and then close the curtain with "so with that, I'd like to raise a toast to x and x...may they be a constant source of support, joy, and laughter to each other throughout the rest of the their lives" or something like that, and then you're off.

Tell you what mate, you could do a lot worse than starting off with what you said in your OP, would set the scene nicely, lob in a few suggestions of , er ,"help" from on here, bridesmaids look lovely, delighted to have a(nother) sister in law, one quick anecdote, or swerve if you cant think of one, toast, (not with cheese on, obviously), bingo.

Good luck, and rehearse!

Cheers guys! This is why GOT is quality. In the space of a few hours I've gone from having no clue where to even start with a speech, to having a pretty good idea of how I should do it. Top work, pos rep all round!!

 

[Azzurri]

My Dad was best man once and said 'I was really worried that I would lose the ring because I'm not a very careful fella so I brought a few spares' then threw a handful of curtain rings into the tables.

Can't see how it's funny myself but apparently everyone was in stitches, try something like that.

 

[Alio]

Ijjy's brother's is right, don't sweat it. I'm trying not to

Another good one I witnessed not so long ago, included the best man getting hold of the grooms school reports. They basically write the speech for him.

 

[peteblue]

Just spend 5 minutes telling stories of how much of a slapper the bride is, how you were fingering the bridesmaid on the way to the reception, compliment the brides mother on still being a MILF ( at her age), mention her tits quite a lot, and then **** off the tight father in law for the cheap champagne. Always gets em going.......

 

[Moomin]

Look at historical events that happened on the date of the wedding. Use one of them within your speech.

When I got married last year, the day was the anniversary of when the Enola Gay dropped the atomic bomb on Hirosima. I used it to say that day was significant in bringing the end of WW2 in the Pacific and 66 years on, its the end of my life.

Also use a current event to get a quick joke in.

Good luck

 

[Titus Bramble]

Just spend 5 minutes telling stories of how much of a slapper the bride is, how you were fingering the bridesmaid on the way to the reception, compliment the brides mother on still being a MILF ( at her age), mention her tits quite a lot, and then **** off the tight father in law for the cheap champagne. Always gets em going.......

This. On film.

 

[johnnydawg68]

I've done 2 best man speeches, both for my big brother. The first one I did I got my mate to come play guitar and I sung the speech as a blues. Went down quite well, apart from 1 line which had my mum cringing. I think it went something like "when we were at school (wa waah wah wa) we went separate ways (wa waah wah wa) I was doing e's (wa waah wah wa) while you were getting a's"

the 2nd was over in Detroit, and I again managed to upset everyone by opening the speech with "I was a bit nervous about this speech so I've prepared a few lines, and now i've snorted them I feel much better"

I found a great line off the internet, "they had a classic romance. She offered her honour. He Honoured her offer. And ever since then he's been onn her and off her"

just google best man's speeches, loads of free stuff knocking round.

*Offers Ricardobee best man slot at my wedding

 

[blue61]

I've done a couple mate. Practice is the key, if you're nervous it's an idea to jot down some bullet points on a small piece of paper to remind you of any stories you might want to throw in. Try googling 'best mans speech' you'll get some good jokes or made up stories there, and don't forget to rip the groom to shreds before praising him at the end. Oh and don't forget to give the bridesmaid one ( age permitting of course ).