Best man speech

[Alanbileysfeathercut]

Awful wedded wife....

 

[Alanbileysfeathercut]

Say since the Groom his hitched his after hours ladies will no longer require to have keys for his house then ask for them to be returned. Cue laughs when some people walk up and put keys down in front of the groom. Make sure the oldest lady in the room gets a key too. And a token bloke.

Seen that..comical.
Last person could barely walk.
Although it was for the bride....

 

[wandyr79]

I’m best man for my mates wedding and have to do the speech in a few weeks time. Iv never done it before and I’m dreading it to be honest. I’m seeking the wisdom of the experienced minds of GoT to help me. I’m sure a quite a few on here have done it, and maybe able to offer advice.

What should I include in the speech?
Does it have to be funny?
Does and don’ts to say?
How long should it last for?

Any help would be appreciated.

Been [co-]best man 4 times.

My advice is to start on a cheesy 'known' joke. Get a first laugh or friendly groan, it will calm you down. It is not meant to be stand up and if you trust the people there not to be total pricks then there won't be any cruel heckles.

On one of them, me and my mate put cards and pens on each table and asked them to put a message that we may read out during our speech. It is a cheap trick to give you less pressure on having to say too much and you get the credit for reading some funny and/or heartfelt messages . It worked really well for us.

As said it is not meant to be a stand up but it is nice to put a funy story in there or a personal joke but it really shouldn't matter. One of the best speech's I saw had no 'jokes' and was just really heartfelt about a good mate.

 

[Kurt.]

Tell her you always thought he’d have stayed with her sister after hearing what she does to him ….. always gets a laugh that one

 

[wandyr79]

Be quick. Everyone will appreciate it

Definitely.

Was at a wedding recently and the grooms brother said a 'few' words. He was up there for over an hour and done it like that on purpose, for me it really put a temporary downer on things as nobody was really listening after about 20 minutes.

 

[Prevenger17]

I did the best man speech for my brother and it was an absolute all-timer.

 

[Alanbileysfeathercut]

Tell her you always thought he’d have stayed with HIS sister after hearing what she does to him ….. always gets a laugh that one

The Welsh eh....

 

[JimmyJeffers]

If you feel like you are losing the crowd and are panicking a bit, get your hoop out.

 

[chrismpw]

I was a best man once, to a good mate who, just days before being made a priest, discovered women and one woman in particular.

Most heroic thing I did on the stag was staying relatively sober so I was able to sprint into a fast road and remove the groom from it as a fast car approached in the dark. I then sacrificed my curry and sat with him while he emptied his stomach contents into the bog of the curry house.

It was worth it all because his future father in law was a very big cheese in Cardiff RFC and that's where the reception was being held. So there was I, an English in the oak panelled rooms of very HQ of Welsh rugby union, Cardiff Arms Park, with my (to my mind) hilarious jokes about the failures of the welsh team at the time.

Did
Not
Go
Down
Well.

For a cultured people - no sense of humour the Welsh. How I (alone) laughed.

Avoid this!

 

[Ed_Winchester]

You’ve always got the staple…
“Enjoy your honeymoon in Wales”
“What? I thought you said your were going to Bangor?”

 

[Pootsy]

Tell them their new carpet that you ordered for them is delayed but the bride will be getting her Underfelt tonight.

 

[Old Blue 2]

 

[AsiaAsia82]

From what I’ve seen, if you mention any other women in the speech the poor guy will be verbally and psychologically beaten with it every time they row, for the rest of their married life, so be a mate and not mention anyone else…

 

[duncs pigeon]

Saw on you tube, the groom was thanking everybody, best man, parents etc and when he came to the bridesmaids, he said, instead of thanks 'and I would like to spank the bridesmaids'

 

[Bedfordblue]

Whenever I feel a bit of pressure around public speaking or more commonly presentations to unknown audiences, I tend to record myself practicing it on my phone via a voice note and listen to it over and over / re-record myself until I’m comfortable with it.