Accidental Insults

[caught]

I had an interesting exchange this morning with a Kopite that's prompted this thread.

I live in Brighton, so there are refreshingly few reds are around. However, there is one guy in his 50s who often walks his dog up and down my street. Proper Southern glory hunter from the late 70s,of course, but not a terrible bloke in the main. Anyway, I saw him today and he asked me about the Derby, to which I shrugged and said I missed it. Then he asked about the Norwich game, to which I responded that "I'm not all that interested to be honest. I think everyone feels like this is just an extended set of pre-season friendlies before we get back to proper football."

It took me a few seconds to click as to why he was coughing and spluttering in objection. He actually called me a "bitter f-ing blue", which is the first time that has ever happened to me, and started telling me how this title will be remembered above all others. I quite literally laughed out load at that and was just sort of bemused by the whole conversation. It wasn't until afterwards that I realised it was a beautiful but accidental way to break a Kopite heart/brain.

Anyway, here's a place to talk about the times you've accidentally (or pretend-accidentally) insulted someone and it's ruined their day/life.

 

[orly]

My dog's purple and called horse and I can't believe you shamed him on bere

 

[McBain]

"When are you due?". Honestly said this naively at least twice to women I just met.

 

[Daveysgingerlovechild]

Asked quite a few Canadians "ah, are you American? / Is your accent American? / is that a Canadian or American accent?"

Even the latter doesn't go down well. Now I just ask where folk are from. Bad racist, me.

 

[roydo]

In my old job, deliveries, its very easy to do.

Knocked on the door of a house that was hard to find, door is opened by a lad, and his Mum. "Ah, you managed to find us then" he said. "Yeah, your Mum gave me directions, thanks"

"Thats my wife".

Delivered to a young ish bloke, got nattering, he was a Bristol Rovers fan, home and away.

"Blimey, they should pay you for that mate!"

"They do" It was Marcus Stewart, assistant Manager.

I really should just shut up.

 

[Sarnia Kevin]

Knocked on the door of a house that was hard to find, door is opened by a lad, and his Mum. "Ah, you managed to find us then" he said. "Yeah, your Mum gave me directions, thanks"

"Thats my wife".

I've been within a cat's whisker of that several times

 

[roydo]

I've been within a cat's whisker of that several times

Its deffo difficult at times. The trend is remarkable though. Scrawny sad looking lad with large older looking munter.

 

[brieverton]

A few months ago, my neighbour was telling me about another neighbour of ours who had changed jobs.

Without thinking, I just blurted out "What a huge comedown that is for him".

I didn't realise her son had been working in the same job at the same company for years.

 

[chrismpw]

Just about every time I open my mouth.

Freaking millennials everywhere can turn any statement into a perceived insult.

I long for the past when it was only sticks and stones that hurt you.

 

[caught]

My dog's purple and called horse and I can't believe you shamed him on bere

Joke's on you: it was a self-portrait.

Wait a minute...

 

[caught]

"When are you due?". Honestly said this naively at least twice to women I just met.

I like to say this to overweight male children.

 

[Baines' left foot]

There’s a South African lad I manage in work, and for some reason (I am dense) I keep making Australian references to him in conversation. I can see in his eyes that he dies a little bit inside each time I do it.

 

[tommye]

I had an interesting exchange this morning with a Kopite that's prompted this thread.

I live in Brighton, so there are refreshingly few reds are around. However, there is one guy in his 50s who often walks his dog up and down my street. Proper Southern glory hunter from the late 70s,of course, but not a terrible bloke in the main. Anyway, I saw him today and he asked me about the Derby, to which I shrugged and said I missed it. Then he asked about the Norwich game, to which I responded that "I'm not all that interested to be honest. I think everyone feels like this is just an extended set of pre-season friendlies before we get back to proper football."

It took me a few seconds to click as to why he was coughing and spluttering in objection. He actually called me a "bitter f-ing blue", which is the first time that has ever happened to me, and started telling me how this title will be remembered above all others. I quite literally laughed out load at that and was just sort of bemused by the whole conversation. It wasn't until afterwards that I realised it was a beautiful but accidental way to break a Kopite heart/brain.

Anyway, here's a place to talk about the times you've accidentally (or pretend-accidentally) insulted someone and it's ruined their day/life.

Fantastic work.
I'll use that as a fall back when wallbotherer, vermin and gobshite fail to hit the mark.

 

[tommye]

Just about every time I open my mouth.

Freaking millennials everywhere can turn any statement into a perceived insult.

I long for the past when it was only sticks and stones that hurt you.

I like to insult everyone equally. Nobody feels left out and victimised then. Precious little things.

 

[caught]

Just about every time I open my mouth.

Freaking millennials everywhere can turn any statement into a perceived insult.

I long for the past when it was only sticks and stones that hurt you.

What have you been shouting at the millenials this week, Chris?