Reidy's Bottle Of Grecian
The Unobstructed View
1. You start buying alcohol for it's taste
There was a time when the only thing you cared about when choosing drink was the number before the percentage sign. Now, though, you choose your wine on the basis of, shockingly, the grape.
2. You numerate your life
You’ve hit 30 and you immediately think, “That’s half of 60, a third of 90.” You begin to see your life in percentages, calculating how much you could still get done before you need a nurse to help you to work it out on your ipad.
3. Your pub priorities change
These days, when you walk into a pub you look at the menu first, then look if there’s a comfy seat or rough sorts that might intimidate you while you eat your olives.
4. You suffer from DIY envy
Throughout your 20s, you never had the need for skills such as shelf-mounting. Now, though, you look upon anyone skilled in the use of an autowrench as the kind of manly man your girlfriend would run off with.
5. You look at yourself differently
When you check yourself out in the mirror, you take an extra few seconds to wonder what you’d look like with a bushy moustache and ponder the idea of a pipe and penning a novel.
6. You fear an embarrassing fatherhood
You can’t help but fast- forward to your future child’s football matches. Will you be joining in as coach or will you be used as a goalpost?
7. You like things that match
It doesn’t matter how bohemian you see yourself, once the summer of your life is in view, you like co-ordination. It can be luggage, soft furnishings, crockery or your gym kit – it’s fine as long as it’s matching and made by apple.
8. Your car future is set
Thinking about the car you’ll buy when you have kids is one thing; planning the mid-life crisis convertible you’ll buy after they’ve grown up is something completely different.
9. Chino shorts really appeal
You’re packing for a holiday when you decide you need some smarter shorts. Something you can “wear out to dinner” and that will “go nicely with sandals, and has an iphone pocket”.
10. You pay attention to furniture sale adverts
Until recently, the only thing you enjoyed about furniture sale ads was mocking the failed actors that appeared in them. Now you’re hastily grabbing a pad and writing down details of the interest-free credit offer.
well then, not a mention of vintage trackies and trainers, so that's me in the clear.
There was a time when the only thing you cared about when choosing drink was the number before the percentage sign. Now, though, you choose your wine on the basis of, shockingly, the grape.
2. You numerate your life
You’ve hit 30 and you immediately think, “That’s half of 60, a third of 90.” You begin to see your life in percentages, calculating how much you could still get done before you need a nurse to help you to work it out on your ipad.
3. Your pub priorities change
These days, when you walk into a pub you look at the menu first, then look if there’s a comfy seat or rough sorts that might intimidate you while you eat your olives.
4. You suffer from DIY envy
Throughout your 20s, you never had the need for skills such as shelf-mounting. Now, though, you look upon anyone skilled in the use of an autowrench as the kind of manly man your girlfriend would run off with.
5. You look at yourself differently
When you check yourself out in the mirror, you take an extra few seconds to wonder what you’d look like with a bushy moustache and ponder the idea of a pipe and penning a novel.
6. You fear an embarrassing fatherhood
You can’t help but fast- forward to your future child’s football matches. Will you be joining in as coach or will you be used as a goalpost?
7. You like things that match
It doesn’t matter how bohemian you see yourself, once the summer of your life is in view, you like co-ordination. It can be luggage, soft furnishings, crockery or your gym kit – it’s fine as long as it’s matching and made by apple.
8. Your car future is set
Thinking about the car you’ll buy when you have kids is one thing; planning the mid-life crisis convertible you’ll buy after they’ve grown up is something completely different.
9. Chino shorts really appeal
You’re packing for a holiday when you decide you need some smarter shorts. Something you can “wear out to dinner” and that will “go nicely with sandals, and has an iphone pocket”.
10. You pay attention to furniture sale adverts
Until recently, the only thing you enjoyed about furniture sale ads was mocking the failed actors that appeared in them. Now you’re hastily grabbing a pad and writing down details of the interest-free credit offer.
well then, not a mention of vintage trackies and trainers, so that's me in the clear.
