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A horrifying incident and very sad but utter nonsense from you as per - the game won’t be called off.

To play devils advocate, slightly, he's looking like the worst ever footballing signing. I get that you have the likes of Ali Dia and Andy Carroll but this is a significant money record signing, for a position we didn't need, for a position where our best player plays, and with a style of play...

Hands down the worst centre back performance I've seen since either that Alcaraz horror show or Luiz against the Germans. I don't understand what he does. He's utterly inept at heading and looks very, very slow and clumsy. His positioning is poor and he gives attackers about ten yards of room...

Long shot but is anyone driving back towards Manchester after the game? doesn't look to be much in the way of trains

Except that Klaassen is in no way a midfielder, so playing him there ahead of Gana, Davies, Besic, or even Schneiderlin or Rooney would be mad. Plus Rooney isn't a centre forward, so playing him there instead of DCL would be mental. We would still end up with three players drifting into the...

Just think the centre fireworks would be a bit more explosive

As things stand it has to be: Pickford Coleman Keane Jagielka Baines Gueye Barkley Mirallas Rooney Bolasie DCL

Not sure he knew who he was playing for. Must have passed it to United players more than Everton. A couple of slow Hollywood balls played out to Martina doesn't make up for the fact he offers zero goal threat or much else for that matter.

Surely no one has trusted Koeman since he left Southampton in that manner? Hope he starts doing well but there's absolutely nothing to trust about him.

Just scored for Anderlecht (who are still looking horrendous). Hopefully gets him going a bit.

Except I absolutely am in a position to judge. Rooney is fortunate enough to be a role model for many millions of people, and he's very aware of that. This position means he makes a great deal of money but it also gives him a moral obligation to act well when within the public eye. Irrespective...

You won't believe how many notifications I get...

But then it's worth noting that in no way are we just shaved apes and acting like one makes you an absolute whopper. There's nothing at all likeable about Rooney and while I hope he does well for us in footballing terms I'm seriously disappointed he's back at our club.

1+1+haircut = 427384?

I'm not sure why Usmanov is in any way relevant. If he was looking to move across he'd also be eager to have everton in as strong a position as possible. Very odd/optimistic inference.

Koeman banging on and on about ultimatums is looking more and more embarassing each day.

Where are you getting this from? Everything I've heard, read or seen about him these last three years says that on his uninjured day he's still absolutely dreadful and looks nothing like a footballer

He's appalling these days unfortunately. Roma fans genuinely have inside jokes about it to the extent that he's their Alcaraz...

Really? He won't even be close to the first team initially. Think Kaputska

Almost everything Rooney has said or done since his return has made me nauseous and cringe with embarrassment but this is spot on. Great to see and gives me hope that I may again one day come to tolerate the man!