Farts

[BlueInNZ]

I've always said that children are like farts - on a good day I can just about tolerate my own.

 

[marrowfatpeas]

Bottle them and sell them on the dark web.

The market for male farts just isn't there.

I did see an article about a girl who was making a mint bottling up her under thunders she was letting off on video and selling them online. Madness. They weren't cheap either, about 60 notes and they were tiny air sealed bottles. You would probably only get one decent hit once you open it.

 

[Swartzy]

Where's Chico been recently ?

 

[Kurt.]

Embrace it … I have a rule where my mrs never gets up same time as me …. I love that hour just sat at the kitchen table blasting off

 

[marrowfatpeas]

Embrace it … I have a rule where my mrs never gets up same time as me …. I love that hour just sat at the kitchen table blasting off

Mine leaves an hour before me in the morning. I end up just sitting and letting off for that hour.

Maybe you're right and I should just embrace it.

Weekends are an issue. I can't imagine she enjoys spending her morning off work heading someone constantly boffing for an hour. Doesn't help when I shout things like "get out brown, I know your name!" Just before it. I've stopped doing that now. The lack of breathable air on a Saturday morning is bad enough without added commentary.

 

[Bilko]

I fail to understand the problem

Correct, this should be celebrated, a healthy gut is a happy gut.

 

[Tramps_mate]

Any tips on reducing my fart output?

Usually the problem is on a morning. Once I wake up, I can easily sit for the best part of an hour just letting off every couple of minutes. It's no way to live.

The rest of the day I'm ok, it's really a morning problem but it's starting to get me down. Imagine waking up and essentially having no choice but to wallow in your own boffs for the first hour of the day. It's not nice.

Purely down to diet.

Beer, bread, potatoes, etc etc all make you fart more..

You may have an intolerance to something.

 

[Tramps_mate]

Greatest game ever made IMO..

 

[Exeter_Gently]

The market for male farts just isn't there.

I did see an article about a girl who was making a mint bottling up her under thunders she was letting off on video and selling them online. Madness. They weren't cheap either, about 60 notes and they were tiny air sealed bottles. You would probably only get one decent hit once you open it.

Mate....There is a market for EVERYTHING.

How in demand your farts are,who knows but am sure there is some sicko out there who'll buy them.

And no,am not one of them.

 

[Micky_T]

I take Omeprezol every day and one of the side effects is increased flatulence.
I see it more of a blessing than a curse. I can fart on demand. It's a talent I never want to lose.

 

[Groucho]

Any tips on reducing my fart output?

Usually the problem is on a morning. Once I wake up, I can easily sit for the best part of an hour just letting off every couple of minutes. It's no way to live.

The rest of the day I'm ok, it's really a morning problem but it's starting to get me down. Imagine waking up and essentially having no choice but to wallow in your own boffs for the first hour of the day. It's not nice.

Sorry mate I wasn’t aware this wasn’t normal.

To be fair, at just the first hour you come across as a little amateur.

 

[Bryan+]

Why was my Zatara fan thread closed by this monstrosity kept open eh eh eh

 

[anjelikaferrett]

Lactose intolerance? I discovered about a year ago I was lactose intolerant- I never knew you could just develop it. Do you have any other symptoms, like your face breaking out in spots or bloating?

 

[twoblue]

Ask Gerrard Deulofeu, who is an expert of 'much wind'.

Had look him up…
16 January 2025, his contract with Udinese was terminated by mutual consent

 

[DualityNSNO]

Had look him up…
16 January 2025, his contract with Udinese was terminated by mutual consent

Injuries finished him, I think he didn't play for 2 years or something.