Farts

[Bedfordblue]

Hi, I’m a gastroenterfartologist - if you post a typical days diet I can assess it for any known flatlu-intolerant sources.

 

[marrowfatpeas]

Have you tried filling your hole with sawdust?

Not sawdust specifically but yeah

 

[marrowfatpeas]

…if you’re a very deep sleeper something physical might be happening to you during the night that you’re totally unaware of. No idea if you share your bed but might be worth setting up a camera.

I thought of this actually. Maybe I'm crunched up into a ball in my sleep and trapping air. But I'm actually a rather light sleeper, so I think I'd probably know if it was sleep related.

The strange thing is that it's just air. There's pretty much no stench at all. My house would be unliveable until mid afternoon if it was letting out any potent odours.

 

[Efcjake]

Have your tried plugging up with a finger up the bum?

Or a thumb?

 

[marrowfatpeas]

Could be as simple as reducing your 'Username' intake..

Absolutely true, I essentially stopped eating them when I was still living in England because after eating them, the air quality once I closed the door behind me home was like Neptune

 

[Mutzo Nutzo]

Great thread - would read again

 

[Exeter_Gently]

Bottle them and sell them on the dark web.

 

[Dutch Toffee]

Where's the problem with that? Your farts are your signature. Every men should be proud of them.

 

[Swartzy]

If you start noticing any damp patches you could try a Dehumidifier..

 

[marrowfatpeas]

Have your tried plugging up with a finger up the bum?

Or a thumb?

Should imagine that'll only worsen things in the long run

 

[coollino]

Best of luck tonight

 

[Swartzy]

3 pages of grown men chatting about farts

 

[marrowfatpeas]

3 pages of grown men chatting about farts

At least it's a medical related query, not really a juvenile chat.

It's no laughing matter pal. Imagine you wake up every day and have so much trapped air you could parp Bach's Brandenburg Concerto No. 2 three times over. Bearing in mind that piece is 11 minutes long with a good conductor leading the orchestra.

 

[marrowfatpeas]

If you start noticing any damp patches you could try a Dehumidifier..

Nothing damp about them. They're dry as a bone. A "popcorn fart" I believe it's called.

 

[Swartzy]

At least it's a medical related query, not really a juvenile chat.

It's no laughing matter pal. Imagine you wake up every day and have so much trapped air you could parp Bach's Brandenburg Concerto No. 2 three times over. Bearing in mind that piece is 11 minutes long with a good conductor leading the orchestra.

Apologies m8, i wasn't laughing at your expense, and I wouldn't laugh at someones expense..
It's looking at a certain thread title and seeing 3 pages..

I can't give you a good answer on what's causing it, but if it really is only first thing in morning, is there something you have before going bed, could be a certain drink/food or even a side effect of medication..