Discussion & help on depression & mental health related issues

Syrup said:
Thought I’d come on and post an update following my A level results 2 weeks ago that didn’t go my way.

I remarked my Chemistry and Physics (the 2 that were below what I needed for my firm university choice, needed A in both) and Physics fortunately went up to an A but Chemistry stayed at a B (went from 4 below to 1 below an A). I contacted my firm choice to ask if they could still take me but unfortunately that was to no avail. They advised I take a gap year and resit Chemistry and reapply to them.

I’d thought this was the most likely outcome since results day and so I’ve done some thinking about what to do next. Whilst I had a place at my insurance, I’ve decided to turn them down and take a gap year and resit my Chemistry. Fortunately, one of my mates is in a similar situation to me so we’re planning on going travelling together before our respective resists over the next 7-8 months (not all 7-8 months will be abroad of course). It seems we will likely be off to South America first to volunteer on a big cat wildlife reserve!

Whilst this is definitely very tough to take, especially being 1 mark off my offer, I feel this is the best course of action for me to get what I feel I want and deserve given I did put a huge amount of time and work and grit into these exams - even if it wasn’t enough this time round.

No doubt the ride won’t be all fun and games and there will undoubtedly be times when I struggle and beat myself up about a silly mistake here or there in my exams when I’m laying in bed, thinking “what if”. However, I unequivocally believe I’ll push through and by this time next year I’ll be stronger and ready to go off to uni better equipped to deal with life - a better person.

I take some solace in a few quotes about times when things don’t go your way which I’ll leave here and hope you guys can make use of them too:
'life is a tragedy in the close up and a comedy in long shot' - Charlie Chaplin
‘Life can only make sense backwards; but it must be lived forwards’ - Kierkegaard
“Fall seven times, stand up eight” - Japanese proverb
“This too shall pass” - Rumi

Best wishes all & up the low sock wearing toffees!
P.S I’ll do some wonderkid scouting when I’m out in South America 😉
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Good for you mate. I took this photo in Amsterdam last week and I think it’s completely true (not downplaying a Uni education either though, that’s equally rewarding).
IMG_1638.webp
 
Been reading through this thread for the last half hour and l’m in bits. Best thing about this forum by far, incredible support shown in here on a daily basis.

I’m over from Australia trying to help with my Dad. He’s 87, has vascular dementia and is deteriorating rapidly. He was an engineer in the merchant navy in his youth and worked on huge turbine engines. I asked to borrow a pair of pliers the other day to restring a guitar and he came back with a screwdriver. He keeps trying to use scissors to open doors instead of a key. It’s the gradual decay of dignity this disease causes that’s so upsetting.

My Mum is 85 and she does everything for him, but having stayed with them for a week i’m getting upset by the way she speaks to him. It comes across as cruel and nasty, which I realise is a result of her frustration etc but it just makes him more confused and anxious.

Anyway just having a vent, I’m sure many of us are going through something similar.
 
Bishop Thumpety-Thump said:
Been reading through this thread for the last half hour and l’m in bits. Best thing about this forum by far, incredible support shown in here on a daily basis.

I’m over from Australia trying to help with my Dad. He’s 87, has vascular dementia and is deteriorating rapidly. He was an engineer in the merchant navy in his youth and worked on huge turbine engines. I asked to borrow a pair of pliers the other day to restring a guitar and he came back with a screwdriver. He keeps trying to use scissors to open doors instead of a key. It’s the gradual decay of dignity this disease causes that’s so upsetting.

My Mum is 85 and she does everything for him, but having stayed with them for a week i’m getting upset by the way she speaks to him. It comes across as cruel and nasty, which I realise is a result of her frustration etc but it just makes him more confused and anxious.

Anyway just having a vent, I’m sure many of us are going through something similar.
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Hi, sorry to hear about your dad. What is happening with your mum is that she knows he has a dementia but she is still stuck in a denial stage and dosent see why she has to change. it is really common with care partners its almost like a subconscious thing.I use to see it so much working with people who had been diagnosed and their family's.I worked with people who had been diagnosed for 15 years as part of the AZ society in Canada and understand that verbal communication is only 15% visual and physical communication the other 85 % so looking grumpy finger waging and sighs really weight heavy. Smiles hugs kisses and talking up how great a person is works wonders.Good luck i know how difficult it is
 
salmon fingers said:
Hi, sorry to hear about your dad. What is happening with your mum is that she knows he has a dementia but she is still stuck in a denial stage and dosent see why she has to change. it is really common with care partners its almost like a subconscious thing.I use to see it so much working with people who had been diagnosed and their family's.I worked with people who had been diagnosed for 15 years as part of the AZ society in Canada and understand that verbal communication is only 15% visual and physical communication the other 85 % so looking grumpy finger waging and sighs really weight heavy. Smiles hugs kisses and talking up how great a person is works wonders.Good luck i know how difficult it is
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Thanks mate appreciate your advice. Will try and talk to her about it.
 
Got a call today from my best mate since school that he has a testicular tumor. He's just turned 33 a couple of days ago and has a little daughter who's turning one year old next month.
They are cutting short their vacation as he'll have surgery to get it removed on Tuesday.
Granted, it's not certain yet that it's malignant. Still, this shook me up badly today and I admit that I shed a few tears after getting off the phone with him.

This came after a week of being on the phone with another close mate everyday who's going through a breakup after 9 years being together with his missus.
Sometimes life just sucks, doesn't it?
 
Bishop Thumpety-Thump said:
Been reading through this thread for the last half hour and l’m in bits. Best thing about this forum by far, incredible support shown in here on a daily basis.

I’m over from Australia trying to help with my Dad. He’s 87, has vascular dementia and is deteriorating rapidly. He was an engineer in the merchant navy in his youth and worked on huge turbine engines. I asked to borrow a pair of pliers the other day to restring a guitar and he came back with a screwdriver. He keeps trying to use scissors to open doors instead of a key. It’s the gradual decay of dignity this disease causes that’s so upsetting.

My Mum is 85 and she does everything for him, but having stayed with them for a week i’m getting upset by the way she speaks to him. It comes across as cruel and nasty, which I realise is a result of her frustration etc but it just makes him more confused and anxious.

Anyway just having a vent, I’m sure many of us are going through something similar.
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So very sorry to read this, it’s so hard to see and accept the gradual decline of loved ones. Others on here are better placed to offer advice on dealing with the situation so I can only send my very best wishes to you all. 💙
 
dachshund said:
Got a call today from my best mate since school that he has a testicular tumor. He's just turned 33 a couple of days ago and has a little daughter who's turning one year old next month.
They are cutting short their vacation as he'll have surgery to get it removed on Tuesday.
Granted, it's not certain yet that it's malignant. Still, this shook me up badly today and I admit that I shed a few tears after getting off the phone with him.

This came after a week of being on the phone with another close mate everyday who's going through a breakup after 9 years being together with his missus.
Sometimes life just sucks, doesn't it?
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Sending best wishes to your mate for his operation on Tuesday, hopefully things will not be as bad as feared. My husband’s friend had a testicle removed when he was in his twenties, he is now in his sixties and still going strong.💙
 
Just bumping this in light of the Hatton news, a lot of us do sports to keep in shape both mentally and mentally, seein a fella who dedicated his life to this is a tragic loss, really it is, I don’t want to fill this either placating comments so please don’t emote or anything to this, just remember there is a load of blues here practically 24/7 for a chat. Me being one of them.
 
Afternoon everyone, hope I’m posting in the right group. So, I’ve struggled with my mental health for a while. Been on Sertraline for around 6 years but the last few months I’ve began to taper off them - after talking to my GP. I have counselling 1-2 times a month and I’ve been going to the gym since last November, 3-4 days a week. Lately I’ve been struggling more than usual. My counsellor is aware and work have been good to me. So it’s not like I’m keeping things in, but I still feel awful. I’m really self critical and feel like things aren’t working - people tell me I look different, but I don’t feel it. I’ve always had issues with how I look, and things feel a lot harder at the moment. Not sure if anyone can help, but I thought typing it up might help a little. Sorry for the long post btw.
 
Seamus23 said:
Afternoon everyone, hope I’m posting in the right group. So, I’ve struggled with my mental health for a while. Been on Sertraline for around 6 years but the last few months I’ve began to taper off them - after talking to my GP. I have counselling 1-2 times a month and I’ve been going to the gym since last November, 3-4 days a week. Lately I’ve been struggling more than usual. My counsellor is aware and work have been good to me. So it’s not like I’m keeping things in, but I still feel awful. I’m really self critical and feel like things aren’t working - people tell me I look different, but I don’t feel it. I’ve always had issues with how I look, and things feel a lot harder at the moment. Not sure if anyone can help, but I thought typing it up might help a little. Sorry for the long post btw.
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There's nothing to say sorry for. And that's far from a long post. You can get what you want off your chest however which way you want, this thread is sacrosanct (regarded as too important or valuable to be interfered with). It's good you have support, and routine, and a job.
Certain times of the year roll around and can affect us, anniversaries, birthdays, school timetable, autumn and pre winter blues.
Learning to be nice to ourselves can be difficult, not least if certain past trauma's have been reinforced and low mood/negative self has become ingrained.

e9da5453cbda5afd0b6b9d2e1e9169096495ca73.gif

Sometimes the picking ourselves up can be worse than the fall and take a lot of work. It's good to speak up, support is important.
 
Rita_Poon said:
There's nothing to say sorry for. And that's far from a long post. You can get what you want off your chest however which way you want, this thread is sacrosanct (regarded as too important or valuable to be interfered with). It's good you have support, and routine, and a job.
Certain times of the year roll around and can affect us, anniversaries, birthdays, school timetable, autumn and pre winter blues.
Learning to be nice to ourselves can be difficult, not least if certain past trauma's have been reinforced and low mood/negative self has become ingrained.

e9da5453cbda5afd0b6b9d2e1e9169096495ca73.gif

Sometimes the picking ourselves up can be worse than the fall and take a lot of work. It's good to speak up, support is important.
Click to expand...
Thank you! It’s been a weird few months. Initially lowering the dose of sertraline helped, but then it’s had to go back up a little - after the second dosage lowering I began to feel a lot worse and it’s not really changed.

I know I’m extremely self critical - and I often say I hate the way I look. I find it incredibly hard to be nice to myself and lately I’ve found my mood has become very low, I’m more irritable and tired and feel like nothing is working. I look at my body and still see my little beer belly and feel horrible about it. Not sure what I can do other than keep persisting.

I think some other things have impacted it too. I’ve had to be A LOT more sociable the last few weeks. I’m a ‘functioning introvert’ and find socialising really tires me out. I got wasted a few weeks ago and noticed that my mood significantly lowered the next day, and this continued for a few days after.

I’ve all but come off social media. I have Instagram, but don’t have the app on my phone, and try to have only a few apps for other stuff on my phone so I’m not buried in it all the time.

I think I’ve found it harder to talk to people, girls in particular. Which everyone finds odd when I say it, because they say I’m ‘a talker’ and that my physique has improved. But I see none of this, and instead constantly dig myself out like I have a vendetta against my own happiness 🤷‍♂️
 
Seamus23 said:
Thank you! It’s been a weird few months. Initially lowering the dose of sertraline helped, but then it’s had to go back up a little - after the second dosage lowering I began to feel a lot worse and it’s not really changed.

I know I’m extremely self critical - and I often say I hate the way I look. I find it incredibly hard to be nice to myself and lately I’ve found my mood has become very low, I’m more irritable and tired and feel like nothing is working. I look at my body and still see my little beer belly and feel horrible about it. Not sure what I can do other than keep persisting.

I think some other things have impacted it too. I’ve had to be A LOT more sociable the last few weeks. I’m a ‘functioning introvert’ and find socialising really tires me out. I got wasted a few weeks ago and noticed that my mood significantly lowered the next day, and this continued for a few days after.

I’ve all but come off social media. I have Instagram, but don’t have the app on my phone, and try to have only a few apps for other stuff on my phone so I’m not buried in it all the time.

I think I’ve found it harder to talk to people, girls in particular. Which everyone finds odd when I say it, because they say I’m ‘a talker’ and that my physique has improved. But I see none of this, and instead constantly dig myself out like I have a vendetta against my own happiness 🤷‍♂️
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There`s a lad called @Spotty, who`s a mental health professional, he`ll be able to give you the best advice you`ll get anywhere mate ;)
 

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