Discussion & help on depression & mental health related issues

Syrup said:
I have looked up some private centres in my city and found a couple that offer the exam board I did and want to hence want to resit for decent prices so I’ll go with one of them. I don’t need to register right now however.

It’s a very good idea to look at doing a module of say further maths or biology, I will certainly look into it. However, further maths is widely considered the hardest A-level and I actually studied it earlier in sixth form but dropped it eventually because I found it too hard so perhaps A/S further maths would be a better idea. At least this way I would be learning new stuff and not reading over the same stuff again. My only fear is that it could distract from my Chemistry which is what needs to go up at the end of the day.

I already contacted the head of undergrad admissions at the uni (big London one) for my course and he said that the course was full unfortunately but said I’d be welcome to resit and reapply without any discrimination.
As I said I have a first year undergraduate text book for my subject so I will make a start at that in depth when the time is closer or if I find myself needing something new as something to freshen me up.

I still definitely want to leave myself enough time to travel though. I don’t want this to be a gap year where I lock myself up for a year to just get X grade then go off to uni. I think it’s actually going to be quite important for me to travel with my friends and see the world a) from a character building and cultural eye-opening experience + b) from a perspective of not feeling lonely or feel as if I’m missing out on uni and as such start feeling sorry for myself because that helps me in no way shape or form. If I’m not psychologically healthy, there’s no way one will be able to perform in big exams.
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Sounds like a plan, get the Chemistry boxed off asap, and throw yourself into an AS of further Maths. Get familiar with the first year work and next summer at interview you can tell them you got off your ass in preparation for the degree instead of wasting a year doing nothing. Employers and Academia like people that show a bit of intuition, some drive. Having the required grade locked in will feel very freeing, it's no longer a cloud on the horizon, it's put to bed and done with. No more mental or nervous energy to carry around.
 
Syrup said:
Thought I’d come on and post an update following my A level results 2 weeks ago that didn’t go my way.

I remarked my Chemistry and Physics (the 2 that were below what I needed for my firm university choice, needed A in both) and Physics fortunately went up to an A but Chemistry stayed at a B (went from 4 below to 1 below an A). I contacted my firm choice to ask if they could still take me but unfortunately that was to no avail. They advised I take a gap year and resit Chemistry and reapply to them.

I’d thought this was the most likely outcome since results day and so I’ve done some thinking about what to do next. Whilst I had a place at my insurance, I’ve decided to turn them down and take a gap year and resit my Chemistry. Fortunately, one of my mates is in a similar situation to me so we’re planning on going travelling together before our respective resists over the next 7-8 months (not all 7-8 months will be abroad of course). It seems we will likely be off to South America first to volunteer on a big cat wildlife reserve!

Whilst this is definitely very tough to take, especially being 1 mark off my offer, I feel this is the best course of action for me to get what I feel I want and deserve given I did put a huge amount of time and work and grit into these exams - even if it wasn’t enough this time round.

No doubt the ride won’t be all fun and games and there will undoubtedly be times when I struggle and beat myself up about a silly mistake here or there in my exams when I’m laying in bed, thinking “what if”. However, I unequivocally believe I’ll push through and by this time next year I’ll be stronger and ready to go off to uni better equipped to deal with life - a better person.

I take some solace in a few quotes about times when things don’t go your way which I’ll leave here and hope you guys can make use of them too:
'life is a tragedy in the close up and a comedy in long shot' - Charlie Chaplin
‘Life can only make sense backwards; but it must be lived forwards’ - Kierkegaard
“Fall seven times, stand up eight” - Japanese proverb
“This too shall pass” - Rumi

Best wishes all & up the low sock wearing toffees!
P.S I’ll do some wonderkid scouting when I’m out in South America 😉
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Well in mate. You might live to be grateful for tsarying uni a year later with a bit more maturity and some good life experiences under your belt
 
Theres been a picture on a few Everton sites the last couple of days of a young guy with his picture taken at the game on Sunday all smiles and looking happy who died before the Mansfield game,
He was sat near me, didnt know him, never spoke to him only recalled him when i seen the picture.
Been told since it was mental health (sorry that sounds awful), about the same age as my lad.
I cannot get this out my mind, it just seems so common place these days, heartbreaking, drumming it into my kids if you're worried about anything just talk to someone anyone.
I just wanted to get it off my chest.
 
Syrup said:
Thought I’d come on and post an update following my A level results 2 weeks ago that didn’t go my way.

I remarked my Chemistry and Physics (the 2 that were below what I needed for my firm university choice, needed A in both) and Physics fortunately went up to an A but Chemistry stayed at a B (went from 4 below to 1 below an A). I contacted my firm choice to ask if they could still take me but unfortunately that was to no avail. They advised I take a gap year and resit Chemistry and reapply to them.

I’d thought this was the most likely outcome since results day and so I’ve done some thinking about what to do next. Whilst I had a place at my insurance, I’ve decided to turn them down and take a gap year and resit my Chemistry. Fortunately, one of my mates is in a similar situation to me so we’re planning on going travelling together before our respective resists over the next 7-8 months (not all 7-8 months will be abroad of course). It seems we will likely be off to South America first to volunteer on a big cat wildlife reserve!

Whilst this is definitely very tough to take, especially being 1 mark off my offer, I feel this is the best course of action for me to get what I feel I want and deserve given I did put a huge amount of time and work and grit into these exams - even if it wasn’t enough this time round.

No doubt the ride won’t be all fun and games and there will undoubtedly be times when I struggle and beat myself up about a silly mistake here or there in my exams when I’m laying in bed, thinking “what if”. However, I unequivocally believe I’ll push through and by this time next year I’ll be stronger and ready to go off to uni better equipped to deal with life - a better person.

I take some solace in a few quotes about times when things don’t go your way which I’ll leave here and hope you guys can make use of them too:
'life is a tragedy in the close up and a comedy in long shot' - Charlie Chaplin
‘Life can only make sense backwards; but it must be lived forwards’ - Kierkegaard
“Fall seven times, stand up eight” - Japanese proverb
“This too shall pass” - Rumi

Best wishes all & up the low sock wearing toffees!
P.S I’ll do some wonderkid scouting when I’m out in South America 😉
Click to expand...
If you're wandering by Chile, why not pop in for a match. Mention that you're a blue, and you'll be right in there, don't forget to take a scarf !

 
Connor mcloud said:
Theres been a picture on a few Everton sites the last couple of days of a young guy with his picture taken at the game on Sunday all smiles and looking happy who died before the Mansfield game,
He was sat near me, didnt know him, never spoke to him only recalled him when i seen the picture.
Been told since it was mental health (sorry that sounds awful), about the same age as my lad.
I cannot get this out my mind, it just seems so common place these days, heartbreaking, drumming it into my kids if you're worried about anything just talk to someone anyone.
I just wanted to get it off my chest.
Click to expand...
Connor this is a lovely wise post. Very thoughtful and good advice. I've been around "mental health" for the vast majority of my life as many will know, but I have found the death of a young person so heartbreaking. One of "mine" went on leave from the Ward over a weekend and found in woods near his home having taken his life. Didn't hit me for days. Then it did hit me and it really affected me. I was angry at myself and him. I always used to say to him "call me ANYTIME". Initially I thought ah well it happens for us, part of the job. But it's not and I was subconsciously trying to protect and shield myself.

All I can add from a non subjective standpoint is, continue to say to our children and young people in our charge, please approach us with anything and we'll help you get through it together. Tell our children we love them, regardless and unconditionally and this in itself can give children reassurance "I can go to mum and dad with things that are troubling me because they'll help me."

Seeing a young man at an Everton game and then realising he's no longer with us must be thought provoking and upsetting. Lovely post Connor and you certainly speak for me in your hopes. Thank you.
 
Never posted on this superb section before but I do read it a lot. I am 61 years old now and retired from work due to redundancy in Feb 25, as it is it worked out well for me though. The issue I have is I am due a Turps operation due to a enlarged prostate, which has been affecting me for a few years, it is now so bad the consultant said it needed doing ASAP as all my test results were now severely bad but the waiting list on the NHS was still 2 years+. My standard of life at the moment is pretty bad and I have been struggling with mental issues due to a lot of accidents I have had caused by the enlarged prostate which really upsets me, just to add my wife is absolute angel and has helped me as much as she can. I can get to the Everton home match but cannot have anything to drink 1 hour before the supporters coach and have to wait until I get home as if I did drink (even water) I would spend most of the match running down to the toilets. I have decided to pay over £8K to get the operation done privately (3rd October) as cannot wait another 2 years min, I am hoping all will work out well for me after the operation as the success rate is very high but I am convincing myself that it will not work and I will be in a worse mess than I already am. Sorry for the rambling message but I am in a dark place at the moment. Thanks Colin
 
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welshtoffee said:
Never posted on this superb section before but I do read it a lot. I am 61 years old now and retired from work due to redundancy in Feb 25, as it is it worked out well for me though. The issue I have is I am due a Turps operation due to a enlarged prostate, which has been affecting me for a few years, it is now so bad the consultant said it needed doing ASAP as all my test results were now severely bad but the waiting list on the NHS was still 2 years+. My standard of life at the moment is pretty bad and I have been struggling with mental issues due to a lot of accidents I have had caused by the enlarged prostate which really upsets me, just to add my wife is absolute angel and has helped me as much as she can. I can get to the Everton home match but cannot have anything to drink 1 hour before the supporters coach and have to wait until I get home as if I did drink (even water) I would spend most of the match running down to the toilets. I have decided to pay over £8K to get the operation done privately (3rd October) as cannot wait another 2 years min, I am hoping all will work out well for me after the operation as the success rate is very high but I am convincing myself that it will not work and I will be in a worse mess than I already am. Sorry for the rambling message but I am in a dark place at the moment. Thanks Colin
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That's quite alright Colin, I didn't read it as rambling, I read it as concerned and a little bit frightened. Which you've every right to be, and worried for your family. Work can wait, it's health that comes first. Thanks for opening my eyes to the TURPS procedure and the reason BPH. I'm glad you have the money to fast track the process, it's a bloody outrage but this isn't the thread for it. Between us, I have an injury that was initially considered cauda equina, so have had a few tests and checks and stuff in that area, it's no fun having to consider every journey in relation to every bath room, and carry spare clothes, and for me at least, make peace with the fact certain things will never happen again.
The international break has turned up nicely for you, we've two weeks, then you've a two week wait and you're in (there or there abouts) and the numbers on the success rates are agreeable. It's natural to have some trepidation, it's been an ordeal to get this far and I feel for you that you just want past it and done and "normal". Carrying the issue and the surrounding effects has been tiring, and the longer it goes on the more tired you become, it is dispiriting, draining, and guilt causing (at least it has been for me). You're in the home straight, it's always darkest before the dawn and all that stuff. Tough it out that little bit longer and with a bit of hope and a pinch of good luck you'll come through the other side and be much improved. The beer at the stadium is awful anyway, treat yourself to one of them giant donuts ;) (John, but I hate that name so Reets)
 
Rita_Poon said:
That's quite alright Colin, I didn't read it as rambling, I read it as concerned and a little bit frightened. Which you've every right to be, and worried for your family. Work can wait, it's health that comes first. Thanks for opening my eyes to the TURPS procedure and the reason BPH. I'm glad you have the money to fast track the process, it's a bloody outrage but this isn't the thread for it. Between us, I have an injury that was initially considered cauda equina, so have had a few tests and checks and stuff in that area, it's no fun having to consider every journey in relation to every bath room, and carry spare clothes, and for me at least, make peace with the fact certain things will never happen again.
The international break has turned up nicely for you, we've two weeks, then you've a two week wait and you're in (there or there abouts) and the numbers on the success rates are agreeable. It's natural to have some trepidation, it's been an ordeal to get this far and I feel for you that you just want past it and done and "normal". Carrying the issue and the surrounding effects has been tiring, and the longer it goes on the more tired you become, it is dispiriting, draining, and guilt causing (at least it has been for me). You're in the home straight, it's always darkest before the dawn and all that stuff. Tough it out that little bit longer and with a bit of hope and a pinch of good luck you'll come through the other side and be much improved. The beer at the stadium is awful anyway, treat yourself to one of them giant donuts ;) (John, but I hate that name so Reets)
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Firstly thanks Reets for reading my post and your reply it is very much appreciated and hope your are in not much pain with your issues. I think you nailed it with the sentence "concerned and a little bit frightened" as I know personally from a family member if a turps operation fails well you are then up the creak without a paddle. I am probably thinking too much into this and that is what is causing my mind to go into overdrive. I am going away in 3 weeks to Salou for a week mainly due to my wife's 60th birthday but also to get my mind of things, although I will probably be on the complex most of the time unless I plan the route with toilets nearby :D.
 
welshtoffee said:
Firstly thanks Reets for reading my post and your reply it is very much appreciated and hope your are in not much pain with your issues. I think you nailed it with the sentence "concerned and a little bit frightened" as I know personally from a family member if a turps operation fails well you are then up the creak without a paddle. I am probably thinking too much into this and that is what is causing my mind to go into overdrive. I am going away in 3 weeks to Salou for a week mainly due to my wife's 60th birthday but also to get my mind of things, although I will probably be on the complex most of the time unless I plan the route with toilets nearby :D.
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Go and have a nice holiday, do something special for the boss, there's no cutting with the turps op, so it's a few days recovery in the hospital after, the days of god awful invasive surgeries are becoming less and less as technology has progressed, meaning recoveries and time lost is much much shorter. Hope the weather in Spain is ideal, and has our game on if there is one.
 
Rita_Poon said:
Go and have a nice holiday, do something special for the boss, there's no cutting with the turps op, so it's a few days recovery in the hospital after, the days of god awful invasive surgeries are becoming less and less as technology has progressed, meaning recoveries and time lost is much much shorter. Hope the weather in Spain is ideal, and has our game on if there is one.
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Cheers Reets, I actually arrive on the morning of the Derby, you can guarantee I will bump into a Kopite from Oslo in the hotel bar in Salou.
 
Syrup said:
I have looked up some private centres in my city and found a couple that offer the exam board I did and want to hence want to resit for decent prices so I’ll go with one of them. I don’t need to register right now however.

It’s a very good idea to look at doing a module of say further maths or biology, I will certainly look into it. However, further maths is widely considered the hardest A-level and I actually studied it earlier in sixth form but dropped it eventually because I found it too hard so perhaps A/S further maths would be a better idea. At least this way I would be learning new stuff and not reading over the same stuff again. My only fear is that it could distract from my Chemistry which is what needs to go up at the end of the day.

I already contacted the head of undergrad admissions at the uni (big London one) for my course and he said that the course was full unfortunately but said I’d be welcome to resit and reapply without any discrimination.
As I said I have a first year undergraduate text book for my subject so I will make a start at that in depth when the time is closer or if I find myself needing something new as something to freshen me up.

I still definitely want to leave myself enough time to travel though. I don’t want this to be a gap year where I lock myself up for a year to just get X grade then go off to uni. I think it’s actually going to be quite important for me to travel with my friends and see the world a) from a character building and cultural eye-opening experience + b) from a perspective of not feeling lonely or feel as if I’m missing out on uni and as such start feeling sorry for myself because that helps me in no way shape or form. If I’m not psychologically healthy, there’s no way one will be able to perform in big exams.
Click to expand...
I, at the time, considered myself mature at 18. I wish I'd had your nouse and world view at that age. You'll do great.

Best of luck with the resit and enjoy your travels. Honestly the travelling will be a great experience too, and if you ever find yourself in my neck of the woods in Brooklyn you can meet our not very big cat
 
A boss artist I’ve discovered (hope this is ok to share? Not an ad) artwerk.by on instagram

Am gonna buy this
1757177058089.webp
 

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