Messymascot's faith in humanity and ginger safe haven

[Pilks]

I've had a bad day today. Last night I felt just a little better for a little while, I went round to a friend's, had a chat and played a board game, and enjoyed it. When I got home about 1am, I put my weekly radio show together as normal, watched some TV with a few beers, and I even started thinking 'Right, tomorrow I must start eating a bit better, go for a walk more and generally try to get it together a bit'. When I woke up, that feeling had gone completely, I still haven't eaten today yet and I'm consumed with despair.
I think what made it even worse was that I had a dream where I was sitting in my 'office' ('man-cave'), and I heard her shout me. I went in, and she was looking at her phone and rambling a bit. I said 'you must have just woken up and you're half asleep', but then I realised that something wasn't right. I said 'wait, but you're not supposed to be here - and yet you are! What's going on??', and I woke up, utterly devastated. I haven't recovered all day, I just spent half of it climbing back into bed hoping to be able to doze off to escape life for another hour or two.
I have a call due with the CAB benefits advisor on Monday morning to sort out what I can claim, but it's so hard to motivate myself. I can barely function with normality, let alone begin climbing, alone, out of a hole. I know she was responsible for that financial disaster, and the agony of not knowing what on earth was in her head haunts me 24/7. I want to talk to her, find out, and forgive her. But I never can.
On Monday night Andy'sManClub have a local meeting, so I think I will go along as it's the last week I will have the car. See what they are all about.
A Facebook friend very kindly set up a GoFundMe page for me, which has got a couple of thousand in now, which shows me I have friends at least, and it will help a lot practically in the short term, but I can't shake the idea that the balance of my mind and emotional state will never return.
I've heard the term 'hell on earth' bandied about a lot. This is the first time I've understood it...

 

[Armaghtoffee]

The £3 is now £3.50. Still worth it though. Brucie bonus is the girls set at Pink Pop is being streamed live. So if you're looking for something to do later 8.15pm and the link is on the Pink Pop website. Olivia Rodrigo is straight after and Muse are heading tomorrow. I watched Amyl and the sniffers earlier and the sound is pretty good.

Enjoyed Keo but they are a bit too similar to Wunderhorse for me. Flo Ro only had 1 song I didn't know. I thought both EPs were a bit short and they should have kept on dropping ai goes until they had maybe 8 songs ready to go.

Will catch up on it later but thanks for the pointer. In between wall to wall GAA I’m watching 28 Days Later then 28 Weeks Later this weekend before an imminent cinema trip for the new one. Iconic films for me and I can taste the popcorn already.

 

[Armaghtoffee]

I've had a bad day today. Last night I felt just a little better for a little while, I went round to a friend's, had a chat and played a board game, and enjoyed it. When I got home about 1am, I put my weekly radio show together as normal, watched some TV with a few beers, and I even started thinking 'Right, tomorrow I must start eating a bit better, go for a walk more and generally try to get it together a bit'. When I woke up, that feeling had gone completely, I still haven't eaten today yet and I'm consumed with despair.
I think what made it even worse was that I had a dream where I was sitting in my 'office' ('man-cave'), and I heard her shout me. I went in, and she was looking at her phone and rambling a bit. I said 'you must have just woken up and you're half asleep', but then I realised that something wasn't right. I said 'wait, but you're not supposed to be here - and yet you are! What's going on??', and I woke up, utterly devastated. I haven't recovered all day, I just spent half of it climbing back into bed hoping to be able to doze off to escape life for another hour or two.
I have a call due with the CAB benefits advisor on Monday morning to sort out what I can claim, but it's so hard to motivate myself. I can barely function with normality, let alone begin climbing, alone, out of a hole. I know she was responsible for that financial disaster, and the agony of not knowing what on earth was in her head haunts me 24/7. I want to talk to her, find out, and forgive her. But I never can.
On Monday night Andy'sManClub have a local meeting, so I think I will go along as it's the last week I will have the car. See what they are all about.
A Facebook friend very kindly set up a GoFundMe page for me, which has got a couple of thousand in now, which shows me I have friends at least, and it will help a lot practically in the short term, but I can't shake the idea that the balance of my mind and emotional state will never return.
I've heard the term 'hell on earth' bandied about a lot. This is the first time I've understood it...

You are still in shock and haven’t even had time to grieve. Just please take it slowly and let CAB take your hand and guide you through the practicalities. They will get you whatever Govt support you are entitled to and let you get on with the grieving part. Reach out mate, it’s dark now but support is all around you.

 

[peteblue]

I've had a bad day today. Last night I felt just a little better for a little while, I went round to a friend's, had a chat and played a board game, and enjoyed it. When I got home about 1am, I put my weekly radio show together as normal, watched some TV with a few beers, and I even started thinking 'Right, tomorrow I must start eating a bit better, go for a walk more and generally try to get it together a bit'. When I woke up, that feeling had gone completely, I still haven't eaten today yet and I'm consumed with despair.
I think what made it even worse was that I had a dream where I was sitting in my 'office' ('man-cave'), and I heard her shout me. I went in, and she was looking at her phone and rambling a bit. I said 'you must have just woken up and you're half asleep', but then I realised that something wasn't right. I said 'wait, but you're not supposed to be here - and yet you are! What's going on??', and I woke up, utterly devastated. I haven't recovered all day, I just spent half of it climbing back into bed hoping to be able to doze off to escape life for another hour or two.
I have a call due with the CAB benefits advisor on Monday morning to sort out what I can claim, but it's so hard to motivate myself. I can barely function with normality, let alone begin climbing, alone, out of a hole. I know she was responsible for that financial disaster, and the agony of not knowing what on earth was in her head haunts me 24/7. I want to talk to her, find out, and forgive her. But I never can.
On Monday night Andy'sManClub have a local meeting, so I think I will go along as it's the last week I will have the car. See what they are all about.
A Facebook friend very kindly set up a GoFundMe page for me, which has got a couple of thousand in now, which shows me I have friends at least, and it will help a lot practically in the short term, but I can't shake the idea that the balance of my mind and emotional state will never return.
I've heard the term 'hell on earth' bandied about a lot. This is the first time I've understood it...

It’s an odd thing, but a mate who died last August, his wife said to me he appeared in a dream as real as it could be. Last week he appeared during my sleep and he said he was back for a week to sort a few things out. It was so real that I told her about it and she said he said similar to me. I know the mind can play awful tricks but it was also a comfort. Don’t let go, just appreciate such ‘visitations’ but put the financial issue to one side and enjoy seeing her again…..

 

[peteblue]

Morning guys, after I change Kay in the morning I’m finally taking the dog, a miniature cockapoo, to a groomer. He’s just a big ball of fluff at the moment and will no doubt come back looking naked. Have a good day all, and @Pilks hold on to your dreams of your wife and don’t let finance take over you……

 

[blue1948]

I've had a bad day today. Last night I felt just a little better for a little while, I went round to a friend's, had a chat and played a board game, and enjoyed it. When I got home about 1am, I put my weekly radio show together as normal, watched some TV with a few beers, and I even started thinking 'Right, tomorrow I must start eating a bit better, go for a walk more and generally try to get it together a bit'. When I woke up, that feeling had gone completely, I still haven't eaten today yet and I'm consumed with despair.
I think what made it even worse was that I had a dream where I was sitting in my 'office' ('man-cave'), and I heard her shout me. I went in, and she was looking at her phone and rambling a bit. I said 'you must have just woken up and you're half asleep', but then I realised that something wasn't right. I said 'wait, but you're not supposed to be here - and yet you are! What's going on??', and I woke up, utterly devastated. I haven't recovered all day, I just spent half of it climbing back into bed hoping to be able to doze off to escape life for another hour or two.
I have a call due with the CAB benefits advisor on Monday morning to sort out what I can claim, but it's so hard to motivate myself. I can barely function with normality, let alone begin climbing, alone, out of a hole. I know she was responsible for that financial disaster, and the agony of not knowing what on earth was in her head haunts me 24/7. I want to talk to her, find out, and forgive her. But I never can.
On Monday night Andy'sManClub have a local meeting, so I think I will go along as it's the last week I will have the car. See what they are all about.
A Facebook friend very kindly set up a GoFundMe page for me, which has got a couple of thousand in now, which shows me I have friends at least, and it will help a lot practically in the short term, but I can't shake the idea that the balance of my mind and emotional state will never return.
I've heard the term 'hell on earth' bandied about a lot. This is the first time I've understood it...

Well you are further along the way than you think ,first although you have not forgiven Janet for what she did ,you are realising there is a way out albeit a very long and difficult road and you are getting out of the house .The dream as said should be a comfort that she is still in your life .
You are not alone as the GoFundMe page is showing -please post on here as I will gladly give a small amount to show I care .
You are taking small steps and that is all we can hope for at this terrible time ,I must say whatever has been done with your money ,what a lovely person she was to help someone to that extent ,foolish perhaps ,secretive yes but what a gesture of friendship .
Eat and grieve is the order of the day and no apologies for ever posting on here . Perhaps not too much booze as it never makes you merry at times like this but you have a life to live so your choice .
Stay strong and keep that shuffle going .

 

[blue1948]

Good morning all on this fine one here , I hope all had as good a night as possible and wake to a lovely sunny day . We had a thunderstorm yesterday that cut off the electricity , it was restored shortly afterwards not like many years ago when we had no electricity for six days !
We are hoping to get out ambushing the locals later if the weather holds up . Not much else on the cards .Have a great day all COYB.

 

[Val P]

Well you are further along the way than you think ,first although you have not forgiven Janet for what she did ,you are realising there is a way out albeit a very long and difficult road and you are getting out of the house .The dream as said should be a comfort that she is still in your life .
You are not alone as the GoFundMe page is showing -please post on here as I will gladly give a small amount to show I care .
You are taking small steps and that is all we can hope for at this terrible time ,I must say whatever has been done with your money ,what a lovely person she was to help someone to that extent ,foolish perhaps ,secretive yes but what a gesture of friendship .
Eat and grieve is the order of the day and no apologies for ever posting on here . Perhaps not too much booze as it never makes you merry at times like this but you have a life to live so your choice .
Stay strong and keep that shuffle going .

I can only echo what @blue1948 says here @Pilks , it is such early days yet and you have the additional stress of the money to deal with as well which makes things hard to deal with and get your head around. Go to Andy’s you’ve nothing to lose and I hope you might gain some much needed support.

 

[Barnfred 55]

Well you are further along the way than you think ,first although you have not forgiven Janet for what she did ,you are realising there is a way out albeit a very long and difficult road and you are getting out of the house .The dream as said should be a comfort that she is still in your life .
You are not alone as the GoFundMe page is showing -please post on here as I will gladly give a small amount to show I care .
You are taking small steps and that is all we can hope for at this terrible time ,I must say whatever has been done with your money ,what a lovely person she was to help someone to that extent ,foolish perhaps ,secretive yes but what a gesture of friendship .
Eat and grieve is the order of the day and no apologies for ever posting on here . Perhaps not too much booze as it never makes you merry at times like this but you have a life to live so your choice .
Stay strong and keep that shuffle going .

It was over a week before I could face a drink after Cal passed and, as you well know, alcohol and I have quite a healthy relationship. It probably took that time to come out of shock. I couldn’t even tell you what I did that week if I'm honest. Probably slept most of the time. I know I had a huge veggie lasagne that my young neighbour Emily did for me which covered 4 meals otherwise I probably wouldn't have eaten either.

 

[Barnfred 55]

Will catch up on it later but thanks for the pointer. In between wall to wall GAA I’m watching 28 Days Later then 28 Weeks Later this weekend before an imminent cinema trip for the new one. Iconic films for me and I can taste the popcorn already.

Was fully intending to see the new film yesterday but guess who had a hangover from hell after my anniversary celebrations . After throwing my eldest sister in a cab we went for a few nightcaps. Well it was a Friday.

 

[Armaghtoffee]

Was fully intending to see the new film yesterday but guess who had a hangover from hell after my anniversary celebrations . After throwing my eldest sister in a cab we went for a few nightcaps. Well it was a Friday.

I was reading that the 4th film is out in January with a 5th soon after it. Cillian Murphy appears at the end of 4 and film number 5 is about him.

How are you feeling today? Like a new man I hope.

 

[Armaghtoffee]

@Barnfred 55 I had forgotten this song until I heard it yesterday in 28 Days Later. Marvellous stuff:

 

[Barnfred 55]

@Barnfred 55 I had forgotten this song until I heard it yesterday in 28 Days Later. Marvellous stuff:

I've just had a quick listen to the first few seconds (I'm in Dobbies getting my free WiFi) but don't remember it. The theme tune to the film is brilliant though. Very chilling.

The girls announced at the concert last night that the C&W song is going to be tre lead single from the new album. Oh dear.

 

[Val P]

Afternoon all, I’m chuffed to bits right now because I have just driven my car for the first time since I broke my arm which is 6 weeks. It felt so great - like putting an old pair of slippers on.
Also on Friday I saw a hummingbird hawk moth in the garden! I’ve only ever seen them in Greece before (although I know they are all over the Mediterranean). I actually hate moths, they give me the creeps, but it was fascinating to watch it dance around the flowers.
Glad to hear @Barnfred 55 is having a great time, and I bet your dog looks cute after its hair do @peteblue .
Have a lovely Sunday

 

[peteblue]

Afternoon all, I’m chuffed to bits right now because I have just driven my car for the first time since I broke my arm which is 6 weeks. It felt so great - like putting an old pair of slippers on.
Also on Friday I saw a hummingbird hawk moth in the garden! I’ve only ever seen them in Greece before (although I know they are all over the Mediterranean). I actually hate moths, they give me the creeps, but it was fascinating to watch it dance around the flowers.
Glad to hear @Barnfred 55 is having a great time, and I bet your dog looks cute after its hair do @peteblue .
Have a lovely Sunday

Unfortunately just as I was about to leave this morning I got a text from the groomer who had a problem at home to deal with so we are having to reschedule……