Discussion & help on depression & mental health related issues

[Gwladysover]

Don't think I have opened up on here before with any details of mental ill health. I continue to pop in here to find comfort in the advice I see, and the commraderie and support between posters. Sometimes things are written and it gets lost in translation, or it was just poor taste, but regardless, this has to remain a safe space where people can trust they will not be judged.

With that in mind.

I'll share.

I've struggled with diagnosed Depression and Anxiety in bouts on and off for years. I have had a rough 4 years probably since Corona. Medication, CBT counselling has helped. But never enough where I have felt normal, or back to near my perceived best.

Lethargy, lack of motivation, fatigue, moods, irratiability, irrational worry, intrusive thoughts make life unbearable sometimes. More recently, darkest thoughts, or feeling like a burden, and being sick of getting up off the floor again have made me seek further help.

The first time asking for help was the hardest. Once I did it though, years ago, it allowed me to recognise any serious downward spirals, and asking for help again was easier.

Anyone that has struggles, and has never asked for help, I understand, as asking for help in my head is a weakness. I've learnt now its the opposite.

I am lucky despite this. I am well supported, I am strong willed, and I have a lot to live for.

Its because of those reasons that I have continued to push for answers.

Since last year blood tests have revealed some hormone and vitamin deficiencies that I am now having treatment for. These deficiencies it seems can cause or certainly add to the issues I have had.

So the point is.

Seeing the honesty on this thread has helped me. I hope this might help others.

I am grateful for this community, and although I physically don't know anyone on here, there are names, callsigns and avatars that I look for as their contributions help me, make me laugh or other.

Please be kind, as you never really know what someone has gone through, is still dealing with, and what their general outlook on life and death might be, and amazingly words on a screen can be so powerful.

Thanks for reading.

Brave of you to share that, thank you so much. Wishing you all the best.

 

[Groucho]

Don’t know if anyone’s seen this;

https://www.reddit.com/r/Everton/s/xYFtTdB4Lr

 

[Rita_Poon]

Don’t know if anyone’s seen this;

https://www.reddit.com/r/Everton/s/xYFtTdB4Lr

Was posted in world football I think a few months ago. It was via here I caught it. Still as pertinent as it was, and a fine addition to this thread.

Not all suffering is visible.

 

[Spadge Vernacular]

Don’t know if anyone’s seen this;

https://www.reddit.com/r/Everton/s/xYFtTdB4Lr

Wow, that is a powerful message. Brilliantly captured.

 

[Spotty]

Having a bit of a bad run at the moment. Was previously on Zoloft for a few years when my wife was going through cancer, however I successfully weaned myself off them middle of last year once she received the all clear. I felt emotionally like I’d been bowling with the bumpers up for years and now they’ve been removed I can feel a wide range of emotions again. My anxiety had disappeared and things were looking good.

Anyway a few months ago I noticed a blurred spot in the middle of the vision in one eye. Initially I panicked thinking it was a brain tumour or something, however after multiple tests with specialists (that cost me a fortune) I’ve been diagnosed with macular dystrophy (similar to age related macular degeneration), which has no treatment or cure. Was told yesterday it will eventually likely spread to the other eye, which will make reading and driving impossible. As a self employed musician this fills me with dread as I won’t be able to work (unless I can somehow hire a driver for gigs!). Even worse, as it’s only the central part of my vision that’s affected I won’t qualify for a disability pension. Unsure what type of work I could do instead, and at the age of 50 I imagine finding a new career would be quite difficult.

Anyway I find now that I’m jumping at shadows, every eye floater, eye strain or headache is making me think that it’s about to deteriorate further. This is despite my eye specialist telling me it’s slow moving and could be years before it spreads to the other eye.

Unsure why I’m posting this tbh, not keen on going back on medication but equally don’t want to continue feeling this anxious. Would appreciate any feedback from anyone who has experienced anything along these lines.

I was over in the UK in January and got to three home games, was in the Upper Gwladys each time and when play was down at the Park End I couldn’t tell what the hell was going on. Thinking about it that’s probably the only positive thing to take from this, I missed Luton’s last minute winner!

Bishop some very simple advice. I don't know much about your eye issues, I heard of that condition. For what it's worth - you're probably doing this already so apologies - but arm yourself with as much information you can from reliable sources - opticians, eye infirmaries - so it will give you a good idea of what might be happening, lessening your anxieties. In addition, please don't internalise things, seek advice and support. Get the reassurance you should be able to get. Just keep " knowledging " yourself up, this will hopefully help you deal with any anxieties. As you know, a lot of the time it's not knowing what causes the stress.

Take care buddy.

 

[Spotty]

Thanks for the kind words and good advice mate, appreciate it.

Big Dunc that's a good post, good practical and sensible advice. Nice one

 

[Bishop Thumpety-Thump]

Bishop some very simple advice. I don't know much about your eye issues, I heard of that condition. For what it's worth - you're probably doing this already so apologies - but arm yourself with as much information you can from reliable sources - opticians, eye infirmaries - so it will give you a good idea of what might be happening, lessening your anxieties. In addition, please don't internalise things, seek advice and support. Get the reassurance you should be able to get. Just keep " knowledging " yourself up, this will hopefully help you deal with any anxieties. As you know, a lot of the time it's not knowing what causes the stress.

Take care buddy.

Thanks mate. Have seen a couple of specialists over the last few weeks and I’m having some genetic testing done so they can hopefully give me a proper diagnosis. The good news is that whatever it is seems to be slow moving, if it doesn’t spread to the other eye for years then I can function. The anxiety is primarily driven by the fear of the unknown, and as you say it’s important not to internalise it. Thanks for your support.

 

[ChesterBlue]

I’ve just had to be signed off by my doctor for work related stress after a massive panic attack directly caused by bullying and harassment from my exploiter regarding mechanical lower back pain (which I got by an injury when trying to leave for work a few years ago)

Feel absolutely awful mentally, as bad as I ever have with my BPD and now I’m panicking that they’re going to use it as an excuse to terminate my employment

 

[Lobworm]

I’ve just had to be signed off by my doctor for work related stress after a massive panic attack directly caused by bullying and harassment from my exploiter regarding mechanical lower back pain (which I got by an injury when trying to leave for work a few years ago)

Feel absolutely awful mentally, as bad as I ever have with my BPD and now I’m panicking that they’re going to use it as an excuse to terminate my employment

Are you in a union? If so speak to them asap, if not, try to join one.
You could (probably should) also be referred to occupational health by work, if you aren't, ask to be referred.
If you feel there has been bullying, log everything on paper, including who was present with dates, times and witnesses. Use this to file a grievance against the person if you feel strong enough. It's not easy, I know, but try to be proactive in whatever way you can,

 

[ChesterBlue]

Are you in a union? If so speak to them asap, if not, try to join one.
You could (probably should) also be referred to occupational health by work, if you aren't, ask to be referred.
If you feel there has been bullying, log everything on paper, including who was present with dates, times and witnesses. Use this to file a grievance against the person if you feel strong enough. It's not easy, I know, but try to be proactive in whatever way you can,

No unions in my industry sadly, but I just feel done with it and want out tbf.

 

[Lobworm]

No unions in my industry sadly, but I just feel done with it and want out tbf.

If moving jobs is a viable option mate, then exploring that route could be a relatively easy fix? However I say this next bit knowing very little about your position, but the last thing any union rep would advise right now though is for you to hand your notice in, especially without something else to go to.

You have some time off to get yourself right, temporarily at least. Use that, try and do something positive for yourself that you wouldn't normally do. Just focus on good stuff if you can. When it's time to return to work, you should be looking at a phased return. If the situation with your mental ill health has been ongoing for a long time, asking for some changes in the workplace (reasonable adjustments) to make the situation better, is not out of the question. If the employer refuses this, they may be liable in the event of a future health breakdown.

 

[ChesterBlue]

If moving jobs is a viable option mate, then exploring that route could be a relatively easy fix? However I say this next bit knowing very little about your position, but the last thing any union rep would advise right now though is for you to hand your notice in, especially without something else to go to.

You have some time off to get yourself right, temporarily at least. Use that, try and do something positive for yourself that you wouldn't normally do. Just focus on good stuff if you can. When it's time to return to work, you should be looking at a phased return. If the situation with your mental ill health has been ongoing for a long time, asking for some changes in the workplace (reasonable adjustments) to make the situation better, is not out of the question. If the employer refuses this, they may be liable in the event of a future health breakdown.

Thanks mate I appreciate the advice. Their behaviour this week has triggered this flare up, but my condition is classed as a disability legally I believe with it being a chronic lifelong condition and they were previously aware of it

 

[Lobworm]

Thanks mate I appreciate the advice. Their behaviour this week has triggered this flare up, but my condition is classed as a disability legally I believe with it being a chronic lifelong condition and they were previously aware of it

In that case, the equality act will most probably apply. They will know, but do let them know, that you know this also.

I'll reiterate what I said earlier about the small details. I had a case/grievance which lasted 4 years before it finally came to a halt with a 'win' (of sorts). The names/dates/witnesses I logged were invaluable years later when it went before a solicitor/barrister. Likewise, the homework I did on logging policies/procedures etc they hadn't followed. It was tiring, onerous and really difficult mentally, but as and when you get a bit of mental strength back, and if you get the urge and get the bit between your teeth, it can and will help. It's important they don't get everything their own way mate, however your health must come first.

Keep us all posted lid.

 

[ChesterBlue]

In that case, the equality act will most probably apply. They will know, but do let them know, that you know this also.

I'll reiterate what I said earlier about the small details. I had a case/grievance which lasted 4 years before it finally came to a halt with a 'win' (of sorts). The names/dates/witnesses I logged were invaluable years later when it went before a solicitor/barrister. Likewise, the homework I did on logging policies/procedures etc they hadn't followed. It was tiring, onerous and really difficult mentally, but as and when you get a bit of mental strength back, and if you get the urge and get the bit between your teeth, it can and will help. It's important they don't get everything their own way mate, however your health must come first.

Keep us all posted lid.

Will do mate, gonna take the weekend to try and unwind a bit, watch the 6 nations and relax then I’ll assess it on Monday when I’m less furious/anxious

 

[zukai12_]

My Grandfather passed away today

It wasn't out of the blue, he'd been sick for a long while and he passed as a chaplain was saying a prayer for him - he was a religous man so that is a comfort

He had a good run, he was an active gardener well into his 90s , i suppose his age caught up to him in the last few months though