Recent content by The Size Of A Cow

1st day at Uni. Her dad told her when he dropped her off in the morning to speak to the first person she met, which luckily enough was me. Proposed the day we graduated, been married 13 years this year.

*Lurks menacingly* Rumbled. Sake.

Probably worth checking your bookmaker's rules - quite a few settle stages & match-ups on the official result.

Their vocabulary is somewhat limited if they're kept upon a bust of pallas though

Paper cuts on the fingers, in the exact spot where you'd pick bags up or hold a knife & fork.

Yeah, that's where I grew up - used to be a Stafford branch of the supporters club

I live & work in Stoke. Lots of Toffees here, so not all bad.

Wasps are bells. This is a well known fact.

Bruce Forsyth Almighty

The Magnificent Seven Dwarfs Delayed 3.10 to Yuma

Sex Toy Story The Matrix Reloaded

I was most puzzled when a film was described to me recently as 'dank' - until I was told that this actually meant good (rather than cold, wet and smelling like the inside of a disused cave). I think I'm too old for all this.

Somehow only just got round to reading this - really good piece @catcherintherye

Mate of mine refers to him as 'Yewtree 2034'

Wooling it up in Staffordshire. It has its positives (oatcakes) and its negatives (Hanley duck).