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I'd like to take this opportunity to remind any United lurkers that Jarrad Branthwaite is an Everton player for the next five seasons. Sniff it. Enjoy five more years of slab head being your best defender.

:D :D :D

Lay a length of about 5 or 6 squares of toilet paper, folded over once in the bowl before you deuce. Helps stop a big bloop of water aiming for your balloon knot. YW.

If your hoover is broken - simply stand it in the corner of the room and it will soon gather dust. AYE THANG YOO.

Save loads of wages by not signing any footballers until the season starts, then see who is available on a loan or for free.

Someone will start one the moment Leeds complete a successful pass.

Did you seem no. 23 for Iceland yesterday evening? No. 23 is my new favourite number.

We used to go and pick mum up after work

@Joey66 likes this.

I got 1 for me and 1 for my 11 year old lad. South stand upper. He's going to be thrilled and tbh I'm just as excited!

Superb stadium. Ignore the pillocks who are looking to criticise every sngle aspect. If you were to gift them them £10,000 they would moan that it should be more. 🤷‍♂️

Had years and years of it….. but as a kid you don’t realise it’s not normal…. Only as I got older did I know my childhood was ruined by an alcoholic father.. luckily I’ve turned out ok, I swore I would never be that man he was.. hopefully I...

AKA Paul Stupid.

How? It was his own fault.