Are male sportsmen allowed to cry

[davek]

To be fair it enters this discussion because it involves emotions.

Everybody deals with failure and success in different ways, somebody earlier in the thread mentioned the Fiji sevens and I would say that mental health does not come into the discussion on whether it is right for Rugby playing men to cry. However, in regards to somebody like Gemili it is probably in the discussion. He could not control those emotions and it could be argued that he shouldn't have done the interview and gone private and cried on his own. However, him showing his emotion publicly will let many young men and boys that it is OK to do this, you are not less of a man for crying, for showing your emotions, for showing that you are in pain mentally and/or physically.

His mind has been on this race 24/7 for 5 years, that is a lot of mental stress. Peaty has just come out recently saying that people are giving him negative comments for simply coming out saying he is taking a month off as his mental state is shot due to that constant pressure, that constant focus. There needs to be a release, in failure and success, and it is OK to do that in any way that comes naturally to that person whether they be male, female or any other gender.

To start saying it is wrong sets back all the progress we have made as a society, on mental health and the stigma of showing emotion, showing pain, etc.

It's a thoughtful and good post, but I'm still not convinced. Here's why.....

These incidents happen in olympic sports especially it seems, and I think the whole thing may be wrapped up in the way that 'Team GB' recruits and funds athletes. When athletes fail after being funded to the hilt for 4/8/12 years by public cash there is a need to justify that failure. And all too many times we see athletes tearing up as a way of sidestepping judgement on whether it was all worth the investment in them. That's not to say that many aren't genuinely upset and it spills out, but there is a calculation in tearing up for many of them. In short: we cant separate these emotions from more material considerations.

And in that context there is a need to normalise tearing up to persuade others they need to have continued funding or to just excuse them for poor performances.

 

[davids]

YouTube fame requires mandatory tears,a life story thrown in helps,oh and a made up double barrel name.

 

[COYBL25]

It's a thoughtful and good post, but I'm still not convinced. Here's why.....

These incidents happen in olympic sports especially it seems, and I think the whole thing may be wrapped up in the way that 'Team GB' recruits and funds athletes. When athletes fail after being funded to the hilt for 4/8/12 years by public cash there is a need to justify that failure. And all too many times we see athletes tearing up as a way of sidestepping judgement on whether it was all worth the investment in them. That's not to say that many aren't genuinely upset and it spills out, but there is a calculation in tearing up for many of them. In short: we cant separate these emotions from more material considerations.

And in that context there is a need to normalise tearing up to persuade others they need to have continued funding or to just excuse them for poor performances.

I have a friend, who`s 21 yr old daughter runs just below the elite group in her disciplines.

She`s ranked fifth in the UK in one of her distances.

He / she receives no funding whatsoever, they maybe lucky if she gets some free kit or shoes now and again.

Other than the competition entrance fees, her family has to pay for everything out of their own pocket - fuel, hotel, living expenses etc.

They also have to go all over the country with her and all the sacrifices that entails.

This is the norm, until they " break " into the elite group and then start to receive funding.

So, the pressure on the young athletes, doesn`t really start to happen, until they get into the elite group, as they can just as easily drop out of it, through injury, illness, lack of form etc and once that happens, the chances of getting back into it are very difficult to say the least and there goes their funding too.

All young track and field athletes have to go through this process and the pressure on them to succeed must be off the scale, hence why some of them suffer breakdowns, pull out events etc - The cyclist Victoria Pendleton immediately springs to mind.

So, as well as the pressure on them to be the best, there`s also the financial pressure on them too, as they both go hand in hand.

I`d be very surprised if any of the " tears " are for show and quite honestly I`m surprised that more of them don`t end up having serious problems off the track.

 

[Kiwi]

The Danish bloke won the badminton gold broke down into tears. Thought it was boss myself

 

[Noisy noise annoys]

Grown men crying over a loss in sport. In my day that'd get you laughed at and a good 'kin hiding.

This explains why you are like you are

 

[anjelikaferrett]

Grown men crying over a loss in sport. In my day that'd get you laughed at and a good 'kin hiding.

And this is why so many men struggle with mental health. Man up, grow a pair, big boys don't cry, don't show your emotions.
It is absolutely acceptable for men to cry and show their emotions.
I liked the swimmer who cried when he won, cried when his mates won and one of my favourite Olympic moments was in 1992 when Gary Herbert cried his eyes out on the podium after winning gold with the Serle brothers.

 

[davek]

And this is why so many men struggle with mental health. Man up, grow a pair, big boys don't cry, don't show your emotions.
It is absolutely acceptable for men to cry and show their emotions.
I liked the swimmer who cried when he won, cried when his mates won and one of my favourite Olympic moments was in 1992 when Gary Herbert cried his eyes out on the podium after winning gold with the Serle brothers.

It's sport we're talking about at the end of the day. No one gets ill; no one goes hungry or homeless; no one dies.

 

[anjelikaferrett]

It's sport we're talking about at the end of the day. No one gets ill; no one goes hungry or homeless; no one dies.

Agree but that's not really what we are talking about is it? Imagine spending for years of your life training every day, working towards a specific goal and then for whatever reason it all goes wrong on the day, you get injured, you mess up, you don't do yourself justice. You feel like sh*t, you feel like you've let everybody down. That's enough to make you cry and if that is how you express whatever you're feeling, then so be it. Crying is not a sign of weakness. Or would you rather see the more macho approach of going home and beating up your partner to express all those feelings of frustration?

Sometimes you win and then its happy crying.

 

[Jimishorts]

It's sport we're talking about at the end of the day. No one gets ill; no one goes hungry or homeless; no one dies.

Stay strong dave, the people are with you.

 

[davek]

I have a friend, who`s 21 yr old daughter runs just below the elite group in her disciplines.

She`s ranked fifth in the UK in one of her distances.

He / she receives no funding whatsoever, they maybe lucky if she gets some free kit or shoes now and again.

Other than the competition entrance fees, her family has to pay for everything out of their own pocket - fuel, hotel, living expenses etc.

They also have to go all over the country with her and all the sacrifices that entails.

This is the norm, until they " break " into the elite group and then start to receive funding.

So, the pressure on the young athletes, doesn`t really start to happen, until they get into the elite group, as they can just as easily drop out of it, through injury, illness, lack of form etc and once that happens, the chances of getting back into it are very difficult to say the least and there goes their funding too.

All young track and field athletes have to go through this process and the pressure on them to succeed must be off the scale, hence why some of them suffer breakdowns, pull out events etc - The cyclist Victoria Pendleton immediately springs to mind.

So, as well as the pressure on them to be the best, there`s also the financial pressure on them too, as they both go hand in hand.

I`d be very surprised if any of the " tears " are for show and quite honestly I`m surprised that more of them don`t end up having serious problems off the track.

I'll tell you where the pressure comes in that scenario: the turning of what should be a joyous pastime into a career and the commodification of elite sport in this country. That girl and others like her have been caught up in the whirlwind of all that and are victims of the way sport in this country is organised and what is deemed to be important. It's become an industry, and putting all ambitions into that direction is crushing the majority and leaving a minority capable of taking advantage.

At the same time as we're seeing vast sums of cash thrown at those pursuing olympic gold and the targetting of certain events (often force fitting and adapting certain athletes who did one sport into doing another to maximise medal hopes rather than that athlete doing what they prefer and get self worth from) we also have a huge issue of obesity amongst the young (and throughout most other age groups) as local authority funding for sports has collapsed and places where sport could take place have been parcelled up and sold to land developers.

In short: the very small amount of people who get funding shouldn't be in tears, they should be counting their blessings the gamble came off for them. The tears should be shed by the vast majority under that peak who have been part of the trawling process for talent and never made it...and the tears should be for kids and anyone else who likes to exercise and enjoy sport who have an increasingly small amount of chances to act on that impulse because we have a massive sell off of space to play and budgets for leisure have been cut to the bone.

 

[LEONARD]

I cried in agony when we appointed Benetiz.

I'm over it now though.

 

[Diogenes the Cynic]

It's sport we're talking about at the end of the day. No one gets ill; no one goes hungry or homeless; no one dies.

Unless the rs are playing obviously.

 

[davek]

Unless the rs are playing obviously.

Obviously!

 

[Martin Alvito]

I can't vote both 'Yes' and for Dave, so I voted for Dave.

It's 'yes' because men can cry in sports. When their teammate drops dead on the pitch, it's OK for male sportsmen to cry. When the paramedics miraculously bring him back, it's OK for them to cry. When they accomplish the dream that they've been working towards their entire lives, it's OK for them to cry.

When you lose, you're supposed to take it like a man. When Tom Watson met the media after getting jobbed out of his sixth British Open by a sprinkler head and a bad putt, then by having Stewart Cink take it away from him in the playoff, he didn't cry. He looked at the assembled, very quiet media and said, "Guys, this isn't a funeral."

Dave's on point here.

 

[COYBL25]

I'll tell you where the pressure comes in that scenario: the turning of what should be a joyous pastime into a career and the commodification of elite sport in this country. That girl and others like her have been caught up in the whirlwind of all that and are victims of the way sport in this country is organised and what is deemed to be important. It's become an industry, and putting all ambitions into that direction is crushing the majority and leaving a minority capable of taking advantage.

At the same time as we're seeing vast sums of cash thrown at those pursuing olympic gold and the targetting of certain events (often force fitting and adapting certain athletes who did one sport into doing another to maximise medal hopes rather than that athlete doing what they prefer and get self worth from) we also have a huge issue of obesity amongst the young (and throughout most other age groups) as local authority funding for sports has collapsed and places where sport could take place have been parcelled up and sold to land developers.

In short: the very small amount of people who get funding shouldn't be in tears, they should be counting their blessings the gamble came off for them. The tears should be shed by the vast majority under that peak who have been part of the trawling process for talent and never made it...and the tears should be for kids and anyone else who likes to exercise and enjoy sport who have an increasingly small amount of chances to act on that impulse because we have a massive sell off of space to play and budgets for leisure have been cut to the bone.

All good points, however you’re missing one key point, sponsorship.

Athletics across the board, isn’t generally something that interests the majority of the general public.

Outside of major events,how many people ever go and watch athletics ?

It’s their friends and family until they climb into that elite group and that’s when the sponsorship comes in, which potentially can dwarf any funding.

The sponsorship money is what drives it, the funding is merely, the door opening to the riches that sponsorship can bring.

Also if you look at the track and field events, boxing, martial arts, nearly all of the participants are from working class backgrounds. Same as too footy. So it’s a way out for these young people.

You can point at things like show jumping and say it’s sport for the rich, but you can equally balance that out, by saying how many toffs run in the 100 metres etc ?

I know if one of my kids had the chance to progress at any form of elite sport, I’d gladly sacrifice everything for them to succeed.