Nice little exchange with the neighbour just now.
Him: Champions, yeeerrrs
Me: Excuse me?
Him: Us. Champions
Me: Us?
Him: yeah, the reds, Liverpool
Me: Aaaah, the football. Never knew you liked football. You've never mentioned it in the previous 4 years I've lived by you
Him: Red arent I
Me: Oh, cool. Where do you sit?
Him: What?
Me: At the match, where do you sit?
Him: Oh I dont go now
Me: Really? Where did you used to sit?
Him: What?
Me: when you went, where did you sit?
Him: What?
Me: You said you dont go now, so when you went where did you sit?
Him: Errrr, cant remember
Me: You what? You can't remember? When did you last go?
Him: Well I haven't actually been
Me: Wait, what? You, a reds fan, who lives less than 10 miles from the ground, who is well into his 60s, has NEVER been to Anfield?
Him: Oh yeah, I've been to Anfield hundreds of times, just not to a game.
Me. F... off Joe, f... off back under your rock with the rest of the c....