Accidents

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I was bursting for a pee driving home from Stirling to Newcastle and pulled in to Musselburgh services to empty my bladder.

It’s a bit run down and not much used with only half a dozen cars in the car park. I pulled up at least 50 yards from anyone else and dashed into the main building.

When I came out, my car wasn’t where I’d left it. First thought, obviously, was that it had been nicked. Then I heard someone shouting from the back of the car park, looked over and saw my Subaru embedded in the front passenger side of a Mazda6 and a ginger haired fella doing his absolute ends. I had forgotten to put the handbrake on.

I walked over and he calmed down when it became obvious to him that I was 6’5”. The reason he was so agitated was he had been having a kip in his car and been completely thrown by the fact that a car with no-one in it had just written his motor off. Anyhow, no injuries, both company cars so no real harm done.

I did enjoy filling the insurance claim form though

Q Where were you at the time of the accident?
A In the urinals

Must have caused a few raised eyebrows in the office
 

Nearly lost a testicle and more after attempting to climb over a spiked fence which was fixed on top of a moss covered stone wall when I was 14.

Fortunately I was only 100 yards from home and managed to run back off the adrenaline. Passed out as soon as I got in and next thing I knew I was in hospital. I tried to go to the toilet and the urine came out of the hole in my scrotum and I started to panic a bit. The pain was immense. The spike has gone through my scrotum and cut my urethra.

I spent two weeks at home with a catheter and urine bag strapped to my leg whilst my urethra healed. Could have been a lot worse.
 
Baines' left foot said:
Nearly lost a testicle and more after attempting to climb over a spiked fence which was fixed on top of a moss covered stone wall when I was 14.

Fortunately I was only 100 yards from home and managed to run back off the adrenaline. Passed out as soon as I got in and next thing I knew I was in hospital. I tried to go to the toilet and the urine came out of the hole in my scrotum and I started to panic a bit. The pain was immense. The spike has gone through my scrotum and cut my urethra.

I spent two weeks at home with a catheter and urine bag strapped to my leg whilst my urethra healed. Could have been a lot worse.
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I fell onto some railings when I was 6 or 7, went through my chin into my mouth - had to be cut off the railings and have it surgically removed.
 
was kipping in me car in some dogging hotspot in mussleburgh, thought id have a sneeky tug, then all of a sudden a driverless car an into me causing no end of damage and writing me car off, the fella who's car it was that hit me, shat himself when he saw I was 5'61/2 tall and was very apologetic about it all and paid me some silence money as to not grass him up to his mrs, cos it was her car that he wrecked
 

We went snowboarding last year and I broke my wrist and my wife her elbow. Kids were fine. We looked ridiculous walking around the slopes with matching casts and slings.
 
BigBlueNose said:
was kipping in me car in some dogging hotspot in mussleburgh, thought id have a sneeky tug, then all of a sudden a driverless car an into me causing no end of damage and writing me car off, the fella who's car it was that hit me, shat himself when he saw I was 5'61/2 tall and was very apologetic about it all and paid me some silence money as to not grass him up to his mrs, cos it was her car that he wrecked
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So you’re 5ft 6 tall Frank.

Would you be interested in joing the troupe of midgets that @Bungle is due to fight for charity ?
 

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