Ashtonian
Banned on request
I did. said I caught a ditto haha
Nothing really exciting happened today, most random thing was a bus out of service full of passengers
The Amazing Adventures of Ashtonian.
- Thread starter Kurt.
- Start date
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Nothing really exciting happened today, most random thing was a bus out of service full of passengers
What a man - witnesses a hostage situation and takes it all in his stride - well hobble.
We need Ash to start his own threads. 
Last edited:
Donald Twain
Vide cor meum
Great!
tadao
Player Valuation: £25m
Is it a tin opener - is it a wonky toilet seat - is it tight shoes -NO-
Its SUPER ASH
Its SUPER ASH
TheBlueGibbon
Player Valuation: £40m
That can happen if something happens such as the window getting put through by someone lobbing a brick. The driver will carry on the rest of the route back to the depot allowing passengers already on to get off, but won't allow anyone else on.
25/11/2016
"Real pain getting to work today - seems like the ground was lower than usual. Pretty sure the bus stop was looking at me funny. Hopped on the bus and the driver said he hoped I burned in hell haha. Wasn't a bad journey to be honest, had a cheeky Lidl 4-pack of white chocolate muffins. Felt a bit sick after and an old lady said I reminded her of the bloated corpse of her husband after he washed up on the coast. Haha
"Got to work and my teammates had replaced my chair with a large wooden stake with nails hammered into it. Mentioned this to my supervisor and she recommended I rub a cheese grater across my face until the pain went away.
9:33am - Went for my morning poo
10:22am - Finished my morning poo
"Felt a little bit chilly so went to the kitchenette to microwave my hands. Might have to go to the doctors in a bit.
"Posted a thread on Grand Old Team about how to tie shoelaces. Some helpful advice, I think, but I'll continue to tie them with clenched fists for now. Might go to the doctor to ask what she thinks. Posted a thread about breathing, as I keep forgetting to breathe. Most replies suggest I just stop breathing altogether haha.
"12:25pm - supervisor asks why the f*** I haven't done any work yet. To be honest I'm thinking of making a complaint.
"12:30pm - Lunch Time! Went to Subway for a salad. They were out of ranch dressing so I asked them to drizzle a foot long steak and cheese on it instead. It's skint week this week so I only got one cookie.
"4:00pm - Back from lunch. Supervisor said she'd sack me on the spot if she didn't think there's be a discrimination claim. Not sure what she means. Teammates collectively defecated on my desk and moulded it into a statue of my fiance fellating the cast of Christmas with Mrs Brown's Boys. She must have been on Instagram this morning.
"4:33pm - time for home. Subway had an afternoon delivery of ranch dressing so I ordered a cheeky pint for the trip. Got off the bus at the wrong stop because a stranger was shouting at me for no reason. Posted about it on Grand Old Team and everybody replied that I shouldn't have sat on his lap to begin with.
"Home! Noticed the fiance was getting double-stuffed by two guys wearing goat masks, so I went into the kitchen to defrost the onion rings. Fiance came in and told me that when she said "frozen onion ring" it was actually a metaphor for how I should think of her vagina haha. Tried to book some entertainment for the wedding - called a guy about a trapeze act, he said it would just be him and the corpse of his nan's dog, and that he'd basically just jump up and down on the corpse to the tune of 'Paradise City' until people started to vomit. Also said he was legally obliged to inform me he is a convicted paedophile (unreformed). Booked him for £750, although he said he'd probably turn up late.
"Nice and cosy in bed, under the sink. Fiance said she had poked some holes in the bleach and rat poison and that I should remember to breathe.
"All in all not a bad day."
"Real pain getting to work today - seems like the ground was lower than usual. Pretty sure the bus stop was looking at me funny. Hopped on the bus and the driver said he hoped I burned in hell haha. Wasn't a bad journey to be honest, had a cheeky Lidl 4-pack of white chocolate muffins. Felt a bit sick after and an old lady said I reminded her of the bloated corpse of her husband after he washed up on the coast. Haha
"Got to work and my teammates had replaced my chair with a large wooden stake with nails hammered into it. Mentioned this to my supervisor and she recommended I rub a cheese grater across my face until the pain went away.
9:33am - Went for my morning poo
10:22am - Finished my morning poo
"Felt a little bit chilly so went to the kitchenette to microwave my hands. Might have to go to the doctors in a bit.
"Posted a thread on Grand Old Team about how to tie shoelaces. Some helpful advice, I think, but I'll continue to tie them with clenched fists for now. Might go to the doctor to ask what she thinks. Posted a thread about breathing, as I keep forgetting to breathe. Most replies suggest I just stop breathing altogether haha.
"12:25pm - supervisor asks why the f*** I haven't done any work yet. To be honest I'm thinking of making a complaint.
"12:30pm - Lunch Time! Went to Subway for a salad. They were out of ranch dressing so I asked them to drizzle a foot long steak and cheese on it instead. It's skint week this week so I only got one cookie.
"4:00pm - Back from lunch. Supervisor said she'd sack me on the spot if she didn't think there's be a discrimination claim. Not sure what she means. Teammates collectively defecated on my desk and moulded it into a statue of my fiance fellating the cast of Christmas with Mrs Brown's Boys. She must have been on Instagram this morning.
"4:33pm - time for home. Subway had an afternoon delivery of ranch dressing so I ordered a cheeky pint for the trip. Got off the bus at the wrong stop because a stranger was shouting at me for no reason. Posted about it on Grand Old Team and everybody replied that I shouldn't have sat on his lap to begin with.
"Home! Noticed the fiance was getting double-stuffed by two guys wearing goat masks, so I went into the kitchen to defrost the onion rings. Fiance came in and told me that when she said "frozen onion ring" it was actually a metaphor for how I should think of her vagina haha. Tried to book some entertainment for the wedding - called a guy about a trapeze act, he said it would just be him and the corpse of his nan's dog, and that he'd basically just jump up and down on the corpse to the tune of 'Paradise City' until people started to vomit. Also said he was legally obliged to inform me he is a convicted paedophile (unreformed). Booked him for £750, although he said he'd probably turn up late.
"Nice and cosy in bed, under the sink. Fiance said she had poked some holes in the bleach and rat poison and that I should remember to breathe.
"All in all not a bad day."
If anyone is interested.
Work won't let me go to A+E nor have any additional time to go and see a walk in beyond an hour, which is impossible to be seen in that time lets be honest.
So another day i can't get it looked at
Wait a minute, don't you work for the NHS?
Is that what HR have said?
Ashtonian
Banned on request
It is what my immediate managers have collectively said. they asked a ortho nurse to see me and they can't anymore without official channels.
Been advised to ring GP, GP told me i need to ring Podiatry, who need a referral. So have to wait for a self referral form to be posted to me, before sending it back just so they can make me an appointment to be seen, could be a week or two before i can even book an appointment.
Only other option is going walk in centre tonight, which they will be crap but at least they can have a guess at what it is.
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