The Car Diagnostics Thread......

[arch stanton]

My car has a nasty rash, any ideas?

 

[hibbo'sclass]

My car has a nasty rash, any ideas?

Stay in the bushes when having intercourse with 'loose' types perhaps?

 

[summerisle]

 

[cronullasharks]

My fuel light is on, what do i do ?

 

[arch stanton]

My fuel light is on, what do i do ?

Kill a puppy every hour til it sorts itself out?

 

[hibbo'sclass]

My fuel light is on, what do i do ?

Loan the car to your significant other?

 

[Sapie88]

Think we are collectively banned from there. Was fun though. Any mod involved should be ashamed of themselves mind.

Especially that Mary one.

 

[chrismpw]

Should be able to operate the doors in Park with the engine running, but now they won't open at all. I think it's a fault with the parking brake detector or the door safety system (and probably a busted fuse) but instead of solving the problem, here I am.

Have you tried turning your car off and turning it on again?

 

[Brennan]

MOT day and i've realised i've got a chip on the windscreen above the steering wheel. It's less than 10mm. Pass or fail ?

 

[LouReedwalkonthewildside]

Apart from torque steering in to hedges...

Yeah, I do get the feeling at times that the car is trying to kill me.

 

[LouReedwalkonthewildside]

MOT day and i've realised i've got a chip on the windscreen above the steering wheel. It's less than 10mm. Pass or fail ?

" In the UK, if the chip is in the area of the windscreen swept by the windscreen wipers and it is bigger than 10mm across the car will fail its MOT."

"If the chip is outside the swept area, or if it is smaller than 10mm, the car will probably not be failed on this alone."

If you've got fully comp insurance mate you can normally get the chip repaired for free, get them to come to your house, or work to do it.

 

[chrismpw]

MOT day and i've realised i've got a chip on the windscreen above the steering wheel. It's less than 10mm. Pass or fail ?

Fail. If they notice it.

 

[tmgc]

MOT day and i've realised i've got a chip on the windscreen above the steering wheel. It's less than 10mm. Pass or fail ?

Go to Halfords and buy a cheap pair of extra large furry dice, they should obscure the testers view.

 

[sageyefc]

MOT day and i've realised i've got a chip on the windscreen above the steering wheel. It's less than 10mm. Pass or fail ?

Superglue it

 

[sageyefc]

My car has a nasty rash, any ideas?

Yeah, stop sticking your willy in the exhaust pipe