The Super Bowl lampooning thread

Coach · February 2, 2015

mezzrow said:
If you can't get in a huff over a pound and a half of air, you must be a soulless whopper. Integrity.

We'll be shoving chips and guac into our faces while we guzzle the latest local hoppy malt beverage and watch our cheerleaders bounce up and down in slow motion. My wife is DVRing the game so she can ff thru the action tomorrow and watch the commercials.

You're so jealous you ache, you bunch of biffs.

I say, old bean. Steady on.

mezzrow · February 2, 2015

chicoazul said:
Oh look its the jarg rugby.

DanEFC92 · February 2, 2015

Donald Twain · February 2, 2015

Is the game still going on and you all fell asleep?

WA Toffee · February 2, 2015

Donald Twain said:
Is the game still going on and you all fell asleep?

I don't think anyone was watching the game, they were just waiting to chuck one out at Katy Perry.

Donald Twain · February 2, 2015

WA Toffee said:
I don't think anyone was watching the game, they were just waiting to chuck one out at Katy Perry.

What do you mean " chuck one out", the remote control ? Seems a bit drastic that like.

johnnydawg68 · February 2, 2015

EFCNIK said:
Imagine being british and forcing yourself to like this utter utter crap sport just because you like the image. People who pretend to love a certain team and hate others are the pits. Unless you've been brought up in it, or have family involved or whatever your feelings are absolute jarg.

Replace the word "British" and replace it with "American" and you realize this is exactly the type of stuff we get from other Americans when it comes to Footie and Everton?

johnnydawg68 · February 2, 2015

Kurt said:
It's a game of moments mate.... A second can change a whole play, I don't pretend to be an expert at all, actually quite a novice but I enjoy the tactical challenges that get thrown up.... Every player on the field is so drilled on each play...it's like chess on grass ha ha

I'm glad you said this. I feel like I have to be serious for a moment and defend football. It's MUCH more tactical than any other sport. Most of you have no idea how much goes into each play. Here are four play calls from NFL Films segments in which former Tampa Bay and Oakland coach Jon Gruden was wired for sound. Gruden is a descendant of the Bill Walsh-Mike Holmgren coaching tree and pupils of the West Coast Offense — which is known for complicated verbiage. Can you read each play out loud once, memorize it and repeat it cleanly?

1. Pass 94 punch x deep cross

2. Trips left 73 Reno halfback slow screen right

3. West right tight, f left, 372 y stick, z spot

4. Green right x, shift to viper right, 382 x stick lookie

I grew up playing American football from the age of 5. I was obsessed from an early age. It really is chess. It's a great game. You have to learn to enjoy and appreciate the mental aspect of it, because it's not constant action. The time between plays is a chance for everyone to think about down and distance, score, field position, what has been working, injuries (who is in the game and out on any different play).

Ask yourself if there is any real difference between watching players huddle between plays or two teams passing it back and forth for 30 seconds in the midfield before starting a forward movement or two teams knocking it back and forth 30 yards in midfield and never entering the final third at each end.

EFCNIK · February 2, 2015

johnnydawg68 said:
Replace the word "British" and replace it with "American" and you realize this is exactly the type of stuff we get from other Americans when it comes to Footie and Everton?

Football is a world wide sport. American football is american and geared towards Americans in every sense. It being big in england is relatively new and people have suddenly picked up these fierce allegiances. What's more annoying is it tends to be people who have an annoying hatred of football that suddenly pick up this love of American football although I'm aware that's not true here. My housemate is a prime example, tells me every bloody day how much he hates football but is now a massive bloody fanboy of whatever jarg rugby team he's a fan of. It's what is known as nfl hipsterism. And it's an absolute stain on society.

evertoniandy · February 2, 2015

EFCNIK said:
Football is a world wide sport. American football is american and geared towards Americans in every sense. It being big in england is relatively new and people have suddenly picked up these fierce allegiances. What's more annoying is it tends to be people who have an annoying hatred of football that suddenly pick up this love of American football although I'm aware that's not true here. My housemate is a prime example, tells me every bloody day how much he hates football but is now a massive bloody fanboy of whatever jarg rugby team he's a fan of. It's what is known as nfl hipsterism. And it's an absolute stain on society.

Give your head a wobble, soft lad.

EFCNIK · February 2, 2015

evertoniandy said:
Give your head a wobble, soft lad.

This is a dislike thread mate. Kindly take your nfl hipsterism to the correct thread.

Del · February 2, 2015

Awful "Sport" for roided up beauts who like rubbing each others bum holes

Kurt. · February 2, 2015

johnnydawg68 said:
I'm glad you said this. I feel like I have to be serious for a moment and defend football. It's MUCH more tactical than any other sport. Most of you have no idea how much goes into each play. Here are four play calls from NFL Films segments in which former Tampa Bay and Oakland coach Jon Gruden was wired for sound. Gruden is a descendant of the Bill Walsh-Mike Holmgren coaching tree and pupils of the West Coast Offense — which is known for complicated verbiage. Can you read each play out loud once, memorize it and repeat it cleanly?

1. Pass 94 punch x deep cross

2. Trips left 73 Reno halfback slow screen right

3. West right tight, f left, 372 y stick, z spot

4. Green right x, shift to viper right, 382 x stick lookie

I grew up playing American football from the age of 5. I was obsessed from an early age. It really is chess. It's a great game. You have to learn to enjoy and appreciate the mental aspect of it, because it's not constant action. The time between plays is a chance for everyone to think about down and distance, score, field position, what has been working, injuries (who is in the game and out on any different play).

Ask yourself if there is any real difference between watching players huddle between plays or two teams passing it back and forth for 30 seconds in the midfield before starting a forward movement or two teams knocking it back and forth 30 yards in midfield and never entering the final third at each end.

It's a gift JD.... I just understand sport... I guess I was born with a tactical brain. I can appreciate aspects of sport on a higher level to the ordinary man... ....

On a serious note though, I'm intrigued with tactical play in sport..... It's half the battle and it's great watching a clever play when it comes off.

evertoniandy · February 2, 2015

EFCNIK said:
This is a dislike thread mate. Kindly take your nfl hipsterism to the correct thread.

Or how about you take your generalisations of people you don't know and shove them up your arse?

I've enjoyed American football for about 10 years so it's hardly a "hipster" thing. It appears there are many more of us here who have enjoyed it for a substantial amount of time that you're attempting to offend with your inane guff as well.

Just because you don't like something doesn't mean that because others do, they're all of a sudden "hipsters". Get back to your colouring books before you take your eye out with a crayon, you narrow-minded little baby.

EFCNIK · February 2, 2015

evertoniandy said:
Or how about you take your generalisations of people you don't know and shove them up your arse?

I've enjoyed American football for about 10 years so it's hardly a "hipster" thing. It appears there are many more of us here who have enjoyed it for a substantial amount of time that you're attempting to offend with your inane guff as well.

Just because you don't like something doesn't mean that because others do, they're all of a sudden "hipsters". Get back to your colouring books before you take your eye out with a crayon, you narrow-minded little baby.

It's just too easy x