If you make me mod of this plucky little forum I will transform it from the disaster it is now into a solid football forum with a decent turnover of posters. Sure, we'll never be the best or even close to the best but have you seen how big the base of RAWK is? Or The Shed End? We won't be able to compete with that. But within our own little world we will restore some pride and I'll hang around. You'll love me, eventually. Sure, I'll close the odd thread before it's too exciting or dangerous but it's better to be safe at our level - we don't have the money for libel fees. But when I've had a couple of beers and relax a little it'll be exciting and you'll start to dream that maybe we could have a little political debate without it descending into anger, maybe a couple of threads, you'll start believing we could be as big as even the Newcastle forums. Don't worry though, it'll be a blip.
And then, when the time is right, and I've done my time here I'll go and get a mod position at RedCafe, because you just can't turn them down, you know? Maybe I'll take chico and a couple of others with me too.
And one last thing, I will make sure I get really close to posting your orders but then get a bit frightened of the queue at the Post Office. So, in the end, you will have zero cups to show for it.