Things that never happened.

[bluerobert]

Never mind all that, did you look in the knicker drawer.

I’m not an animal mate! I went into their laundry room instead

 

[bluerobert]

Was this house in Royston Vasey?

Ha they lived in Primrose Hill, every time I’d come out of their house people would look to see if anyone was famous and be gutted at some meff of a 18 year old coming out

 

[Rita_Poon]

Ha they lived in Primrose Hill, every time I’d come out of their house people would look to see if anyone was famous and be gutted at some meff of a 18 year old coming out in

erm, what were you doing prowling around their basement at the age of 18?

 

[PITA]

He probs didn't want to get recognised on the bus and have to dodge more shoes

He's obviously played cricket. Quite surprised really.

 

[bluerobert]

erm, what were you doing prowling around their basement at the age of 18?

I was mates with Les Dennis’s niece who moved down to London to go to drama school and lived with them for a bit

 

[Rita_Poon]

I was mates with Les Dennis’s niece who moved down to London to go to drama school and lived with them for a bit

Ah, so you and Les Dennis' niece were all friendly like in the home theatre in their dungeon? Was she pretty enough to make it in drama school?

 

[PITA]

James Tarkowski and Jordan Pickford's brutal murders in the course of two separate Merseyside derbies.

Jimmy Case ending Geoff Nulty's career.

Dirk Kuyt doing his best to end Phil Neville's.

Steven Gerrard trying to end Gary Naysmith's career.

 

[PITA]

Van dijk geting sent off

Van Dijk committing a foul.

 

[goldfinchmule]

I’m not an animal mate! I went into their laundry room instead

Excellent choice, pre washed.

 

[Alan Whittle]

He's obviously played cricket. Quite surprised really.

Not for England though. ( because he is too good) - just in case that wry comment was wilfully misunderstood.

 

[PITA]

Boris Johnson told a non-lie.

Tories care about anyone else apart from their immediate families.

 

[bluerobert]

Ah, so you and Les Dennis' niece were all friendly like in the home theatre in their dungeon? Was she pretty enough to make it in drama school?

I used to tie Les up with an apple in his mouth and make him watch me with his niece and Amanda

 

[bluerobert]

Excellent choice, pre washed.

Though they did lack that intoxicating aroma one looks for in a used pair

 

[Rita_Poon]

I used to tie Les up with an apple in his mouth and make him watch me with his niece and Amanda

practicing for a rada audition for rita sue and bob to?

 

[bluerobert]

practicing for a rada audition for rita sue and bob to?

There was zero acting involved in this pal, I’d cuck him to within an inch of his life.

“We asked 100 people should I stop Les, what do you think?

No.

Let’s see what their answer was Les.

Our survey says errr eerrrrrrr”

Open wide Amanda, unlucky Les”