Toilet humour

[Nymzee]

I think the only time I grossed out one of my utterly degenerate mates was when I found an unflushable titanic sinking turd in the works bogs, took a picture, and sent it him.

I was in awe. The nessy of turds.

Honestly don't think there's anything I could send that would make my mates flinch. They've seen everything.

 

[BoysPenLad]

The answer from the ex-military types will be 100% yes.

 

[cronullasharks]

Never too old to show your mates your amazing poops

It's the splatter bombs I like to share

 

[goldfinchmule]

My my mrs blocks the toilet once a month with a log thats like a tin of chappie, i hate her.

 

[tommye]

TBF there's very little funnier than a fart at a funeral.

Especially when it's from the coffin

 

[tommye]

 

[Bedfordblue]

A site I once worked on in Cambs, the Project Director’s PA was a bit of a busy body, anyway, at least once per month the cleaners would complain of someone leaving a massive turd unflushed in the bogs. These were genuine wonders mind, often breaching the water level by 3-4 inches.
The PA for some reason, persisted in sending a photo of the offending deposits (along with a message about how disgusting / outrageous it was) to the entire project email directory, construction team, consultants and the client team, probably around 350 people on the distribution list.

After about the 4th episode she was told in no uncertain terms to cease and desist.

What was especially funny was her husband who was an ex squaddy and Construction Manager for the external works packages was actually the chief suspect amongst most people.

 

[Bluebirdie]

A site I once worked on in Cambs, the Project Director’s PA was a bit of a busy body, anyway, at least once per month the cleaners would complain of someone leaving a massive turd unflushed in the bogs. These were genuine wonders mind, often breaching the water level by 3-4 inches.
The PA for some reason, persisted in sending a photo of the offending deposits (along with a message about how disgusting / outrageous it was) to the entire project email directory, construction team, consultants and the client team, probably around 350 people on the distribution list.

After about the 4th episode she was told in no uncertain terms to cease and desist.

What was especially funny was her husband who was an ex squaddy and Construction Manager for the external works packages was actually the chief suspect amongst most people.

Lucky them, I get at least 20 sh*t emails a day!

 

[BITTER TWISTED & BLUE]

I had a bout of Nora virus a few years ago didn’t eat for a couple of days,and then didn’t for a week.
Dropped the biggest turd I’ve ever done,and knew then that if I ever ended up in nick be ok.
I couldn’t shift it after lots flushes and a length of electric cable,so I had to saw it up with a hacksaw blade.

 

[Rita_Poon]

I couldn’t shift it after lots flushes and a length of electric cable, so I had to saw it up with a hacksaw blade.

Yeah, you've written this like it's just par for the course. What did you do with a length of electric cable you just so happen to have to hand, and does it erm, tie in, with any jail time you have in mind?

 

[BITTER TWISTED & BLUE]

Yeah, you've written this like it's just par for the course. What did you do with a length of electric cable you just so happen to have to hand, and does it erm, tie in, with any jail time you have in mind?

No I keep some cable just for that purpose.
Short of fishing the damn thing out by hand and considering the restricted space down the bottom of the pan,the hacksaw blade was the slimmest thing I could use for the job (no pun intended).
No jail threat imminent as far as I know

 

[Rita_Poon]

Dropped the biggest turd I’ve ever done, and knew then that if I ever ended up in nick be ok.

I see.

 

[Daytripper]

Yes and if you ever find yourself a partner who isn’t detestable about it, it’s a amazing feeling

 

[Joey66]

@Kurts double threaded you ?

 

[Kurt.]

Learnt a new word today, Mellencamp…. I’ll let you google it yourselves