Pat's Van
Player Valuation: £70m
masturbation jokes are for w@nkers
Tubey's Retro Gaming Thread
- Thread starter Tubey
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masturbation jokes are for w@nkers
steken1
Player Valuation: £70m
Jews don't really do masturbation jokes but if they did they'd be the cleanest!
Pat's Van
Player Valuation: £70m
yeah, a few masturbation jokes always cum in handy
Ghosts and Goblins, another classic
Actually had this on the Spectrum ZX. It's the hardest game I've ever played in my life.
toffeesnuggs
Player Valuation: £2.5m
pitfall
toffeepie1878
Player Valuation: £8m
commandos on the pc
i was a commandos junkie, i think i spent months playing that game and its subsequent follow ups, without leaving the house .:$
using the spy with his syringe to take out nazi $%""!@ was delightful.
but yeah, commandos was fantastic, grim fandango i played, but never finished. i was about 70% through
i was a commandos junkie, i think i spent months playing that game and its subsequent follow ups, without leaving the house .:$
using the spy with his syringe to take out nazi $%""!@ was delightful.
but yeah, commandos was fantastic, grim fandango i played, but never finished. i was about 70% through
When I was in college, my roommates and I would spend endless hours playing Civilization on the PC.
Incredibly addictive.
Incredibly addictive.
Like a turd I gave away my Ps2 but kept the games I loved thinking the PS3s were all compatible, turns out mine is the first generation that wasn't.
Loved playing my Namco Museum and having a little go on Sonic once in a while.
Loved playing my Namco Museum and having a little go on Sonic once in a while.
THEME HOSPITAL
Release Date: 1997
Available: GOG.com, currently on sale for around £1.50. Also available on Playstation, but enjoyed best on the PC. Physical copies can be found in retro stores and charity shops, but do not work well, if at all, on modern PC systems.
The 1990s saw a slew of games in the simulation bracket – so much so that you couldn’t browse a game story without seeing Sim something or other, or something tycoon. Then these games died off a bit in the 2000s, with just the ultra-dull odd train or farm simulator to keep sim enthusiasts going.
Generally, these games were horrible. They were all derived from the ridiculous success of Sim City, which reached a plateau with either Sim City 2000 or Sim City 4, depending on who you ask. They are in themselves superb games, but very much situational and repetitive in nature. A lot of sim titles bogged themselves down in detail and took themselves too seriously to be enjoyable.
Theme Hospital, the spiritual successor to the runaway smash hit Theme Park, does anything but take itself seriously, and as such it’s stood the test of time as a game worthy of playing in 2014.
Strangely, the game itself received lukewarm reviews upon release. I think this was because sim title fans were alienated by the quirky nature of the title, whilst fans of other types of games gave it a miss out of instinct more than anything. This is a shame, as it’s an extremely fun title that crosses gaming boundaries to create an immersive experience – albeit not a realistic one.
You play a hospital manager, whose job it is to construct and run a hospital that is well organised, clean and, above all, profitable. You hire staff based on their competencies and characters, build increasingly ludicrous treatment rooms for conditions such as Bloaty Head (where the treatment is to pop the head with a needle) and King’s Syndrome (the sufferer of this alarming psychiatric disease is convinced that they are Elvis Presley). Planning needs to be done in advance so that GP offices are well stocked with chairs outside for queues, and close to treatment rooms. Toilets are needed for the patients, as well heating and vending machines, and janitors to keep things clean.
Seems fairly straight forward, but the genius of this Bullfrog title is that it doesn’t bog you down in the nitty gritty of management – instead, it gives you a top notch graphical experience and lets you watch with delight as the hospital unfolds before your very eyes. Emergencies will occur that require you to treat an influx of people within a period of time. Unfortunate patients will die, and float off to heaven as a ghost or fall through the earth to hell – it’s dark, but funny at the same time, and it’s a credit to the game that it combines both cartoon humour with dark elements to keep things interesting. It even manages to side step the thorny issue of Jimmy Saville visiting the hospital – whoops!
Many have tried to replicate Theme Hospital in the 15 years plus since its release, but none have done so, and thanks to its timeless graphic style and intuitive controls, it’s a blast to play today. If you like sim titles, but don’t want the time sink repetitive element associated with them, then this is the title for you – and with it frequently on sale at GOG.com for a few quid at most, this is a no brainer to have in your gaming collection.
VERDICT: 86% - Everyone should have Theme Hospital installed on their PC at all times, as it is perfect for passing away a few hours of a dull weekend and coming away with a smile on your face.
Release Date: 1997
Available: GOG.com, currently on sale for around £1.50. Also available on Playstation, but enjoyed best on the PC. Physical copies can be found in retro stores and charity shops, but do not work well, if at all, on modern PC systems.
The 1990s saw a slew of games in the simulation bracket – so much so that you couldn’t browse a game story without seeing Sim something or other, or something tycoon. Then these games died off a bit in the 2000s, with just the ultra-dull odd train or farm simulator to keep sim enthusiasts going.
Generally, these games were horrible. They were all derived from the ridiculous success of Sim City, which reached a plateau with either Sim City 2000 or Sim City 4, depending on who you ask. They are in themselves superb games, but very much situational and repetitive in nature. A lot of sim titles bogged themselves down in detail and took themselves too seriously to be enjoyable.
Theme Hospital, the spiritual successor to the runaway smash hit Theme Park, does anything but take itself seriously, and as such it’s stood the test of time as a game worthy of playing in 2014.
Strangely, the game itself received lukewarm reviews upon release. I think this was because sim title fans were alienated by the quirky nature of the title, whilst fans of other types of games gave it a miss out of instinct more than anything. This is a shame, as it’s an extremely fun title that crosses gaming boundaries to create an immersive experience – albeit not a realistic one.
You play a hospital manager, whose job it is to construct and run a hospital that is well organised, clean and, above all, profitable. You hire staff based on their competencies and characters, build increasingly ludicrous treatment rooms for conditions such as Bloaty Head (where the treatment is to pop the head with a needle) and King’s Syndrome (the sufferer of this alarming psychiatric disease is convinced that they are Elvis Presley). Planning needs to be done in advance so that GP offices are well stocked with chairs outside for queues, and close to treatment rooms. Toilets are needed for the patients, as well heating and vending machines, and janitors to keep things clean.
Seems fairly straight forward, but the genius of this Bullfrog title is that it doesn’t bog you down in the nitty gritty of management – instead, it gives you a top notch graphical experience and lets you watch with delight as the hospital unfolds before your very eyes. Emergencies will occur that require you to treat an influx of people within a period of time. Unfortunate patients will die, and float off to heaven as a ghost or fall through the earth to hell – it’s dark, but funny at the same time, and it’s a credit to the game that it combines both cartoon humour with dark elements to keep things interesting. It even manages to side step the thorny issue of Jimmy Saville visiting the hospital – whoops!
Many have tried to replicate Theme Hospital in the 15 years plus since its release, but none have done so, and thanks to its timeless graphic style and intuitive controls, it’s a blast to play today. If you like sim titles, but don’t want the time sink repetitive element associated with them, then this is the title for you – and with it frequently on sale at GOG.com for a few quid at most, this is a no brainer to have in your gaming collection.
VERDICT: 86% - Everyone should have Theme Hospital installed on their PC at all times, as it is perfect for passing away a few hours of a dull weekend and coming away with a smile on your face.
Baines' left foot
Player Valuation: £90m
THEME HOSPITAL
Release Date: 1997
Available: GOG.com, currently on sale for around £1.50. Also available on Playstation, but enjoyed best on the PC. Physical copies can be found in retro stores and charity shops, but do not work well, if at all, on modern PC systems.
The 1990s saw a slew of games in the simulation bracket – so much so that you couldn’t browse a game story without seeing Sim something or other, or something tycoon. Then these games died off a bit in the 2000s, with just the ultra-dull odd train or farm simulator to keep sim enthusiasts going.
Generally, these games were horrible. They were all derived from the ridiculous success of Sim City, which reached a plateau with either Sim City 2000 or Sim City 4, depending on who you ask. They are in themselves superb games, but very much situational and repetitive in nature. A lot of sim titles bogged themselves down in detail and took themselves too seriously to be enjoyable.
Theme Hospital, the spiritual successor to the runaway smash hit Theme Park, does anything but take itself seriously, and as such it’s stood the test of time as a game worthy of playing in 2014.
Strangely, the game itself received lukewarm reviews upon release. I think this was because sim title fans were alienated by the quirky nature of the title, whilst fans of other types of games gave it a miss out of instinct more than anything. This is a shame, as it’s an extremely fun title that crosses gaming boundaries to create an immersive experience – albeit not a realistic one.
You play a hospital manager, whose job it is to construct and run a hospital that is well organised, clean and, above all, profitable. You hire staff based on their competencies and characters, build increasingly ludicrous treatment rooms for conditions such as Bloaty Head (where the treatment is to pop the head with a needle) and King’s Syndrome (the sufferer of this alarming psychiatric disease is convinced that they are Elvis Presley). Planning needs to be done in advance so that GP offices are well stocked with chairs outside for queues, and close to treatment rooms. Toilets are needed for the patients, as well heating and vending machines, and janitors to keep things clean.
Seems fairly straight forward, but the genius of this Bullfrog title is that it doesn’t bog you down in the nitty gritty of management – instead, it gives you a top notch graphical experience and lets you watch with delight as the hospital unfolds before your very eyes. Emergencies will occur that require you to treat an influx of people within a period of time. Unfortunate patients will die, and float off to heaven as a ghost or fall through the earth to hell – it’s dark, but funny at the same time, and it’s a credit to the game that it combines both cartoon humour with dark elements to keep things interesting. It even manages to side step the thorny issue of Jimmy Saville visiting the hospital – whoops!
Many have tried to replicate Theme Hospital in the 15 years plus since its release, but none have done so, and thanks to its timeless graphic style and intuitive controls, it’s a blast to play today. If you like sim titles, but don’t want the time sink repetitive element associated with them, then this is the title for you – and with it frequently on sale at GOG.com for a few quid at most, this is a no brainer to have in your gaming collection.
VERDICT: 86% - Everyone should have Theme Hospital installed on their PC at all times, as it is perfect for passing away a few hours of a dull weekend and coming away with a smile on your face.
Loved Theme Hospital. Hated constantly cleaning up sick!
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