McBain
Player Valuation: £80m
"Of Course, The Main attraction from that is the clash between two of English footballs powerhouses. At Old Trafford."
Time for The Trusty Triple Header. The Blues have hardly set the world alight according to our shiny, occer host, Richard Bayliss. With 'a whole heap 'a stuff' to come apparently on this Murdochian stranglehold of basic human need for this kind of thing, Fox Sports. Robbie Slater, the thunderously bulbous jam stain of a kopite sits opposite Mark Bozza Bosnich, the beak bonanzering nazi high fivin' former wonder goalie for our fair and balanced insight. They're like a before and after Advanced Hair Studio promo.
Besic! Okay then. Galloway's back. Kone looking to ditch the bib and play some togger.
Mikel in. Because we play 4-3-3 sez Boz.
“Results”. An ashen Jose in the wide angle danger zone of making his bonce look even more encompassing. He realises and adjusts. He looks like he's eaten really, really bad burritos. You aren't even going to get the courtesy of my gaze you question asking ignaramus. And he's off. Just walked away. Next to be seen emerging in the tunnel shoulder slapping Jags. Completely ghosting his own Captain who looks after him forlornley. The theatre is front row. Jags looks equally bemused. With Howard slamming a G-TADE down the Ref's formidable grid is grabbing the strangely icongraphised shere off it's erection and it's game on.
The players card swish into frame pulled back by the steady cam reveal to wide, and Besic just owns the hands behind the back slow menacing advance. He's here baby. You'd throw your daughters at him you cretins. Zouma looks like he's hiding all the marshmallows hamster-style and Diego Costa just nails it to the point of whipping out a Mexican shooter and murdering all us dead skint Puto's.
Barkley's poised with his Terrasaurian thighs and did we kick off? We've got it. We must have.
1-3 : Early doors and Galloway looks shaky, Stones covers and minute three, Besic breaks with a determined run. Besic Injured?? Oh Good God What??
4-8 : Chelsea be strokin'. Barry clears, Galloway tackles. Besic's back. Good passing, Barkley flashes wide. Besic's on the deck. He's angry, man. Naismith on the other hand is good to go.
8 : Besic out. Naismith On.
9-15 : We're having a gander at Mikel. He's still with these guys? Who's he got pictures of? Roman? Pedro corner. Snuffed out. Kone stuffs it up and un-stuffs it back up again. Naismith too short at the back post Laddie. Good running from Galloway. He's trying to get amongst it. Jags is cool. Howard traps a hot one from Stones but does well.
16. GOAL. NAISMITH!! Cool as you like Sonny Jim. That was superb. Good build up with Barry and Barkley and Galloway into Naismith, turns on a dollar and then finds Galloway who sends a flat, perfect ball onto the head of the onrushing Naismith to place in the corner. Begovic stuck, expert move that.
Everton 1-0 Chelsea
17-20 : Kone heads wide! Great cross Coleman and a great save Begovic. McCarthy! Stinger from range. Our tails are up here. Party pooper Costa harassing. Stop that.
21 : GOAL! NAISMITH AGAIN! Immense! Looks up and Smacks it across the goal like he knew he was going to before he even did it. He's grabbing this chance by the preverbials. He's Fanny to the Wind here. His Kilts Up.
Everton 2-0 Chelsea
22-33 : Diego on Coleman. Champions. Malais. Mettle. The commentators are setting up the story here. Azpuleticueta! Azza! Crap that was close. Stones with the save. Corner them. Snuffed. Pedro swan dive. Barry Steamrolling him. Coleman, Stones and Jags all take turns to teach defence. Proper Schoolin'. Barkley-vision begins transmission. Naismith gives Ivanovic a Hammy Stretcher.
35 : Goal. Matic. My arse. A pile driver from distance, hit so hard his foot actually blurred. Besic would have blocked that.
Everton 2-1 Chelsea
36 - 47 : Hazard, Fabregas and Costa combining. Corner. Snuffed. Corner. Snuffed. Pedro scoops over. We need to hang on.
HALF TIME. Everton 2-1 Chelsea Good, even slightly great half. Soaked up pressure and managed two. Hung on and will be buzzing in the changies.
45 – 53 : They kick off so we must have earlier. We start slow. Tussling. McCarthy is awake and getting about. Costa Whining. Corner them. Snuffed. Zouma, meet Gareth's knees. Gareth's knees, Mr Zouma. Zouma down. Rom getting a gee up here. Corner us. No good.
54 : Mikel Off. Kenedy On.
55 – 70 : Barkley Jinks into the box, Matic covers. Barry finds Lukaku! Saved! Back Pass Ref! Robbed. Games getting messy. Kone finds Lukaku! Wide. Chelsea threaten but we have great defensive shape, super counter but Barkley's delays.. Kone drives! Saved. Barkley Pen! No. Howard leaps, pushes a corner. Snuffed. Galloway Booked. Naismith dogged. Lukaku! Saved. Lennon is receiving the gospel. Lukaku! Saved again! Lukaku is getting some love on the shoulder of Terry and he's getting closer.
71 : Hang on here lads. Kone off, Lennon On.
72 – 75 : Were back in Barkley-vision. It's just so good when it on. So good. Stones! Coleman! Lennon! Lovely Stuff. Coleman's Down. He's Out.
76 : Coleman Off. Here he is, Ramiro Funes Mori on. Straight on Falcao for a soft introduction to the Premier League.
77 – 81 : Barry clears. Chelsea pressure. Corner. Snuffed. International games starting to take their toll now.
82 : GOAL!! NAISMITH YOU LITTLE RIPPER!! HAT TRICK! Great build up with Barkley-vision broadcasting to Lennon then feeding the Scot to fire under Begovic.
Everton 3 - 1 Chelsea
83 – 93 : Naismith buzzing. The ground is on fire with noise. Barkley loops a free kick. Saved. Galloway good tackle, Stones carded. Azza in hard on Lennon. Booked. Mori gets a touch, Stones is galloping down the line. Hanging on, fighting every ball. It's exactly what we want to see. Mori with a surging run and taken out by Costa. Booked. A Naismith, Begovic and Zouma sandwich in the box. It comes with a side of Pain for all.
94 : Right on the dot. Whistle blows, beep ba da beep, that's all folks.
&*#@ YEAH. McB Out.
Everton 3 - 1 Chelsea
(Naismith 16, 21, 82) - (Matic 35)
Time for The Trusty Triple Header. The Blues have hardly set the world alight according to our shiny, occer host, Richard Bayliss. With 'a whole heap 'a stuff' to come apparently on this Murdochian stranglehold of basic human need for this kind of thing, Fox Sports. Robbie Slater, the thunderously bulbous jam stain of a kopite sits opposite Mark Bozza Bosnich, the beak bonanzering nazi high fivin' former wonder goalie for our fair and balanced insight. They're like a before and after Advanced Hair Studio promo.
Besic! Okay then. Galloway's back. Kone looking to ditch the bib and play some togger.
Mikel in. Because we play 4-3-3 sez Boz.
“Results”. An ashen Jose in the wide angle danger zone of making his bonce look even more encompassing. He realises and adjusts. He looks like he's eaten really, really bad burritos. You aren't even going to get the courtesy of my gaze you question asking ignaramus. And he's off. Just walked away. Next to be seen emerging in the tunnel shoulder slapping Jags. Completely ghosting his own Captain who looks after him forlornley. The theatre is front row. Jags looks equally bemused. With Howard slamming a G-TADE down the Ref's formidable grid is grabbing the strangely icongraphised shere off it's erection and it's game on.
The players card swish into frame pulled back by the steady cam reveal to wide, and Besic just owns the hands behind the back slow menacing advance. He's here baby. You'd throw your daughters at him you cretins. Zouma looks like he's hiding all the marshmallows hamster-style and Diego Costa just nails it to the point of whipping out a Mexican shooter and murdering all us dead skint Puto's.
Barkley's poised with his Terrasaurian thighs and did we kick off? We've got it. We must have.
1-3 : Early doors and Galloway looks shaky, Stones covers and minute three, Besic breaks with a determined run. Besic Injured?? Oh Good God What??
4-8 : Chelsea be strokin'. Barry clears, Galloway tackles. Besic's back. Good passing, Barkley flashes wide. Besic's on the deck. He's angry, man. Naismith on the other hand is good to go.
8 : Besic out. Naismith On.
9-15 : We're having a gander at Mikel. He's still with these guys? Who's he got pictures of? Roman? Pedro corner. Snuffed out. Kone stuffs it up and un-stuffs it back up again. Naismith too short at the back post Laddie. Good running from Galloway. He's trying to get amongst it. Jags is cool. Howard traps a hot one from Stones but does well.
16. GOAL. NAISMITH!! Cool as you like Sonny Jim. That was superb. Good build up with Barry and Barkley and Galloway into Naismith, turns on a dollar and then finds Galloway who sends a flat, perfect ball onto the head of the onrushing Naismith to place in the corner. Begovic stuck, expert move that.
Everton 1-0 Chelsea
17-20 : Kone heads wide! Great cross Coleman and a great save Begovic. McCarthy! Stinger from range. Our tails are up here. Party pooper Costa harassing. Stop that.
21 : GOAL! NAISMITH AGAIN! Immense! Looks up and Smacks it across the goal like he knew he was going to before he even did it. He's grabbing this chance by the preverbials. He's Fanny to the Wind here. His Kilts Up.
Everton 2-0 Chelsea
22-33 : Diego on Coleman. Champions. Malais. Mettle. The commentators are setting up the story here. Azpuleticueta! Azza! Crap that was close. Stones with the save. Corner them. Snuffed. Pedro swan dive. Barry Steamrolling him. Coleman, Stones and Jags all take turns to teach defence. Proper Schoolin'. Barkley-vision begins transmission. Naismith gives Ivanovic a Hammy Stretcher.
35 : Goal. Matic. My arse. A pile driver from distance, hit so hard his foot actually blurred. Besic would have blocked that.
Everton 2-1 Chelsea
36 - 47 : Hazard, Fabregas and Costa combining. Corner. Snuffed. Corner. Snuffed. Pedro scoops over. We need to hang on.
HALF TIME. Everton 2-1 Chelsea Good, even slightly great half. Soaked up pressure and managed two. Hung on and will be buzzing in the changies.
45 – 53 : They kick off so we must have earlier. We start slow. Tussling. McCarthy is awake and getting about. Costa Whining. Corner them. Snuffed. Zouma, meet Gareth's knees. Gareth's knees, Mr Zouma. Zouma down. Rom getting a gee up here. Corner us. No good.
54 : Mikel Off. Kenedy On.
55 – 70 : Barkley Jinks into the box, Matic covers. Barry finds Lukaku! Saved! Back Pass Ref! Robbed. Games getting messy. Kone finds Lukaku! Wide. Chelsea threaten but we have great defensive shape, super counter but Barkley's delays.. Kone drives! Saved. Barkley Pen! No. Howard leaps, pushes a corner. Snuffed. Galloway Booked. Naismith dogged. Lukaku! Saved. Lennon is receiving the gospel. Lukaku! Saved again! Lukaku is getting some love on the shoulder of Terry and he's getting closer.
71 : Hang on here lads. Kone off, Lennon On.
72 – 75 : Were back in Barkley-vision. It's just so good when it on. So good. Stones! Coleman! Lennon! Lovely Stuff. Coleman's Down. He's Out.
76 : Coleman Off. Here he is, Ramiro Funes Mori on. Straight on Falcao for a soft introduction to the Premier League.
77 – 81 : Barry clears. Chelsea pressure. Corner. Snuffed. International games starting to take their toll now.
82 : GOAL!! NAISMITH YOU LITTLE RIPPER!! HAT TRICK! Great build up with Barkley-vision broadcasting to Lennon then feeding the Scot to fire under Begovic.
Everton 3 - 1 Chelsea
83 – 93 : Naismith buzzing. The ground is on fire with noise. Barkley loops a free kick. Saved. Galloway good tackle, Stones carded. Azza in hard on Lennon. Booked. Mori gets a touch, Stones is galloping down the line. Hanging on, fighting every ball. It's exactly what we want to see. Mori with a surging run and taken out by Costa. Booked. A Naismith, Begovic and Zouma sandwich in the box. It comes with a side of Pain for all.
94 : Right on the dot. Whistle blows, beep ba da beep, that's all folks.
&*#@ YEAH. McB Out.
Everton 3 - 1 Chelsea
(Naismith 16, 21, 82) - (Matic 35)
Last edited:
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