You're so vain
- Thread starter Seathestars
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JLW
Player Valuation: £70m
Tried that one doesn't work mate. give up now
Durham Toffee
Shameless Wool
At least 90 mins.
Poo.
Beard trim.
Shaving beard for defined lines.
Get in bath.
Wet shave my head (I'm bald)
Get out and moisturise face and head.
Deo and after shave.
Try at least two different sets of clothes on.
Have another poo.
Have a whiskey.
Go out.
Poo.
Beard trim.
Shaving beard for defined lines.
Get in bath.
Wet shave my head (I'm bald)
Get out and moisturise face and head.
Deo and after shave.
Try at least two different sets of clothes on.
Have another poo.
Have a whiskey.
Go out.
A bath, do they have running water up there mate.
Durham Toffee
Shameless Wool
Why aye, like pet.
We even have a canny amount left over for the bairns to have boiled whippet for tea and that, like man, woman, man, like pet.
1-2 hours.
shower, wash hair (naturally curly so leave to dry with generous amounts of anti-frizz products). Choose outfit, reject every outfit because, too tight, too short, wrong colour, wore it last time, drink wine because now sad that there is nothing to wear. Wrestle with holdie in foundation garments. Realise I can't breathe, drink more wine. Apply make up and realise that when sitting down, the aforementioned lingerie is acting like a medieval torture device and internal organs are being crushed. Go back to wardrobe hoping that the clothes fairies have been and put something different in there. Try everything on again, drink more wine, decide on something that looks OK because by now the wine is working and I'm starting to rate myself. Bend down to fasten shoes up, almost pass out from oxygen deprivation. Go out.
shower, wash hair (naturally curly so leave to dry with generous amounts of anti-frizz products). Choose outfit, reject every outfit because, too tight, too short, wrong colour, wore it last time, drink wine because now sad that there is nothing to wear. Wrestle with holdie in foundation garments. Realise I can't breathe, drink more wine. Apply make up and realise that when sitting down, the aforementioned lingerie is acting like a medieval torture device and internal organs are being crushed. Go back to wardrobe hoping that the clothes fairies have been and put something different in there. Try everything on again, drink more wine, decide on something that looks OK because by now the wine is working and I'm starting to rate myself. Bend down to fasten shoes up, almost pass out from oxygen deprivation. Go out.
Durham Toffee
Shameless Wool
This happens with alarming regularity these days...
From shower to dressed and out the door - about an hour to look put together.
30 minutes or less if I just want to be clean and not too scary.
30 minutes or less if I just want to be clean and not too scary.
chrismpw
Player Valuation: £70m
My missus, mercifully (or its why I chose her) , doesn't do nails or trowelled makeup, stupid hair, jewellery and all that garb. However she'll still take an hour doing God knows what, from the time we say "let's go" to actually leaving the house, looking, dare I say it, pretty much the same.
Why they are intrinsically incapable of "just going to the pub" in the clothes they were already wearing is beyond my comprehension.
Sake.
Why they are intrinsically incapable of "just going to the pub" in the clothes they were already wearing is beyond my comprehension.
Sake.
chrismpw
Player Valuation: £70m
Takes me the time it takes to find my keys. That can be zero to thirty minutes if the wife's been tidying, so long as my shoes have been pressure washered.
Though generally dressed for action or practicality, I have not an inch of vanity within me. It's what's inside that counts, and I share your distrust in fellas who stare into mirrors.
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